Dead Ringer
by The Lori C
Summary: Briana Ford encounters a WWE Superstar that is a "dead ringer" for her late husband, who was killed two years earlier.
1. Chapter 1

_They say everyone in the world has a twin. This is a story of a woman who has a chance encounter with someone that could have easily passed as a "dead ringer" to her late husband that was killed two years earlier._

**Chapter 1**

Briana Ford had finished restocking the product inventory and sweeping up the last of the hair for the night in the styling salon where she had worked ever since the age of nineteen.

Some would have thought she would have moved on, considering later circumstances, being she had met her late husband here. Gary had come in for a haircut only days after Briana had gotten her license and been hired. He had been her second customer.

Gary, then twenty five, wasn't exactly what a lot of women's dream man; he had been stood five foot eight, blond hair that was unruly at times (unless Briana trimmed it or Gary pulled it back), crooked nose. But she had found him quite cute and he had worked hard as an over the road truck driver.

A little over a year after they met, they had gotten married. Gary didn't mind if Briana stood home; his income was enough to take care of both of them and he had great benefits, but she loved her job and wanted to keep working, plus it kept her busy when he was away on his runs.

Though they had no children of their own, the two of them enjoyed Gary's two nephews and a fairly comfortable home life of their own for the next twelve years without incidents outside those in any average life.

Then one night, only a few hours after Briana had gotten a call from Gary that he was on his way home from from a run for the weekend, two policemen had arrived at the door to inform her that his truck had jackknifed on some black ice and been involved in an accident. Gary had died on the way to the hospital.

Briana had been desolate. Gary had been her first real love and for the first time in twelve years, she was alone and wasn't sure how to function. Though he had taken out life insurance that specified that the house would be paid off in the event of his death as well as left a benefit for Briana, plus the wrongful death proceeds once the lawyers' fees had been deducted had left her comfortable financially, all the money in the world wouldn't make up for the fact the one man she had loved wasn't coming home again.

She got through her grief the only way she'd known how–by continuing to work at the salon. Some had thought with her new windfall Briana would quit and become a 'lady of leisure', but that wasn't the case. It filled her days and she liked the customers and her co-workers.

Now two years after Gary's death, Briana was in the final stage of grieving–acceptance. She knew he wasn't coming back. There were no more nights lying awake wondering if it all had been a bad dream and he'd walk through the door at any moment, no more crying herself to sleep. The dreams were fewer and fewer until they finally came on a rare occasion, if at all.

Briana wasn't really looking for anyone else at the moment; even though she was still relatively young at thirty-three, she was looking forward to finally loving and enjoying life as a single woman.

Now after closing up the shop with Tina, the manager, Briana would be heading home for yet another quiet evening that wouldn't be different from any other. Tomorrow, they would be getting ready to gear up for the coming weekend, since a few shows were coming to town and talent would likely be dropping in for everything from pre-show touch ups to overhauls that their own stylists wouldn't perform. Briana was happy to welcome the calm before the expected storm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"A wrestling show and circus performers," Tina sighed that Saturday. "We would have to have a salon close to two major show venues, wouldn't we?"

"Look at it this way," one of the other stylists said, "at least those and our regulars keep us in business and we have jobs."

"Yeah, good point, Amanda," Tina said.

"And there's been some gorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgeous men going in an out of here today!" a third stylist called from the back room.

"Just concentrate on washing and cutting hair and not checking out asses, Raymondo," Tina called back. "Briana, you have the next one that comes in the door once you're done with your appointments."

Briana nodded and smiled. "No problem."

"At least someone around here has a good attitude."

"What can I say?" Briana laughed. "I always liked a good challenge."

"Tina, I'm going for some coffee while there's still a chance," Jean, the receptionist, said. "Can I get you some?"

"The biggest size you can find, lady," Tina replied, giving her some money. "Phyllis, your two o'clock just walked in the door."

"Thanks, Tina," a woman called from the back before making an appearance and greeting said customer, passing Briana, who was bringing her last customer up front to pay the bill for their services. She then went back to clean up around her station and then washed her hands before checking her supplies and sitting down for a few minutes.

"Hey, Jill, is this short blond guy headed here one of yours?" Phyllis called to another stylist.

"No, he isn't due until three," Jill answered.

Tina looked up. "No, that's an event guy. Bree, you're up, hon."

Briana nodded. "Consider me ready."

Raymondo snapped to attention as Brian approached the desk. "Oh, my, look at the tail on _that_ rooster," he muttered. "Damn it, Briana always gets the pretty ones. Kind of short for my taste, but I'd still tap that ass."

"Ray!" Jill hissed lowly, giving his arm a smack. "Stop!"

But Briana had gasped when she had caught sight of him.

_It was almost as if she was nineteen and Gary had walked in that first day all over again. This guy has nearly the same hair, the same eyes…._

Brian looked at her strangely. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Never saw a short guy before that just wanted a trim?" He then promptly introduced himself.

Briana snapped out of it, shaking his hand and returning the introduction before getting down to business. "I'm sorry….it's just that you reminded me of someone and it took me back."

"Wow, I didn't realize I was _that_ famous."

"Actually, I don't watch that much television," she clarified. "Oh, goodness, this is going to sound so cliché, but you remind me so much of my husband."

"Damn," he said, sounding a bit disappointed, "you're married?"

"I….was. He was killed two years ago."

"Jesus, that sucks. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm over it now. But yes, you look almost like he did."

"Well, I guess that explains the weird looks you were giving me earlier," Brian laughed. "It's fine, though; I'm used to getting strange looks."

"Why? I don't see anything that weird about you."

"Considering my profession, I'm not the average guy, I guess."

"Being out of the ordinary can be good sometimes," she explained, before turning him around. "Good enough?"

"Ah, finally someone who knows how to follow directions!" Brian praised. "When I say two inches, they did two inches, not five. Thank you, my dear."

"You're welcome," Briana chuckled as he got up to leave.

She then led him back toward the front to take care of the bill before going back to clean up her station, the look on Raymondo's face not lost on her.

"Ray, quit ogling the man's ass," she giggled, shaking her head.

"It's kind of hard to miss," he laughed lowly. "And it's one pretty sight."

As Brian took care of business, he also passed something to Jean. "Could you pass this on to the lady for me?" he requested. "Let's say it's kind of an extra thanks for doing a good job."

Jean smiled graciously, glancing at the card. "I'll be sure she gets it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Closing time finally came around that night and Briana, being a little more tired than usual, couldn't wait to get to her bus stop and head home. She had just finished the final closing procedures and had just set the alarm and walked out the door, locking it securely, when someone approached her from behind.

"Hi," a male voice said.

Briana froze. _Oh God, _she thought, _Tina had warned me about this and staying late. Okay, okay, just do what he wants and be on your way…._

She then slowly turned around and caught her breath at the sight of a familiar face. "Brian! You about scared me to death!"

"Wow, am I really that scary looking?" he joked.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same. Kind of late for you to be here by yourself, isn't it? I was on my way to grab something to eat after the show and saw you locking up. That's some dangerous shit, lady. Some mad rapist could come through here this time of night."

Briana had to chuckle. "You sound like my manager."

"That's one smart manager."

"Well, thank you for your concern, but I've worked here thirteen years without one incident, and my bus stop is less than a block from here."

"And the lighting here is total shit," Brian pointed out. "Who is to say some nut isn't hiding in the bushes over there waiting to jump you as you go by? Thirteen years or not, sweetheart, you can't be taking those kind of risks."

"Uh huh. And how do I know _you _don't happen to be one?" she teased.

He pulled out his phone. "I have references on the contrary. Look, here's my best friend's number back home; he can vouch for me too. Oh wait….he's been dropped on his head too many times, so he's also kind of nuts."

Briana began to laugh, suddenly feeling comfortable that this guy wasn't some kind of psycho, and he had been a customer earlier in the day.

"By the way, I got your note from Jean," she added. "Thank you for that and the tip, but wasn't twenty dollars a bit exorbitant?"

"Not for someone who actually knew how to follow directions," he said, and then tilted his head. "So were you ever going to call me?"

She smiled. "Maybe." _Sly little fox, isn't he?_

"Anyway," Brian cleared his throat, "since I'm here, did you eat yet?"

"No, I haven't, in fact."

"Good, how about joining me for a late dinner? I'm picking up the tab."

"Oh really, I–"

"Come on, live a little. You were just going home anyway, weren't you?"

"Sure, but I usually just don't go with strange men," Briana laughed.

"Who says I'm a 'strange man?' I met you this afternoon, remember?"

She thought a moment. It certainly beat TV and heating up mac and cheese in the microwave and he seemed so sweet. "All right, I don't see how an hour or two will kill me."

"Great. I'm parked right over here." Brian offered her an arm, which she laughed again and took it as they headed off into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"You _are_ all right!" Tina exclaimed the next day, hugging Briana. "Oh my God."

Briana was confused. "Of course I'm all right. What's this all about? What's going on?"

"You didn't hear?" Phyllis asked. "There was a girl raped near the bus stop last night."

Briana gasped. "What?"

_Oh God, Brian may have saved her from a far worse fate after all…_

"Yes," Tina nodded. "And knowing you closed up late last night, I was concerned it was you, being you didn't come in until late today."

"Well….." Briana blushed a little. "I kind of had a late and impromptu date last night."

"What? You? With whom?"

Briana told them.

"No way!" Tina and Phyllis cried in unison, smiling.

"That must have been some trim," Jean commented. "He gave you that number for some reason anyway."

This got Raymondo's attention. "You went out with Mr. Beautiful Ass? Aw, no fair! You always get the pretty ones."

"Sorry, Ray; I guess you weren't his type," Briana replied.

"Too bad, because from the look of what he was packing in the jeans in front too, he's got a big–"

"We didn't get _that_ far, Ray," Briana shook her head. "Not even a kiss."

She then got back to the original subject. "But did they get the guy who did the rape?"

"Luckily, yes," Tina nodded. "That poor girl from the dress shop, though. She'll probably end up quitting. Barely twenty years old. At least she wasn't hurt too badly outside of that awful rape."

"Still," Phyllis shuddered. "The thought of it is just horrible."

"Which is why starting tonight I want you all to start closing in pairs and leave with a security guy. One of you call me before you leave the shop so I know you're okay. Got it?"

"Works for me," Briana replied, grateful that she hadn't been a victim. Perhaps Brian had had some premonition after all.

_Later:_

"So how was this big date of yours?" Jean asked.

"Nothing fancy, just a late dinner at a coffee shop," Briana shrugged. "At least it beat taking the bus home for a change, even if he did drive like the hounds of hell were after him."

"At least you got home safe."

Briana nodded. "Yes. But there's something else I'm still thinking about."

"What?"

"He….sort of offered me a job."

Jean gasped, eyes wide. "What!"

"Yeah, it's good money, I'd travel and all that, but I love working here too. I'm kind of torn."

"Sure, this is a great place and Tina's an awesome manager, but if I had the opportunity to blow this town, I'd take it," Jean said. "Bree, you're still relatively young, you just sold the house and got a good profit from it; you invested well from the life insurance you got from when Gary was killed, so I don't think money's a problem. The guy seems pretty decent, especially since he may have helped you avoid a much worse fate last night. Why not start to live? This could be the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Maybe, but I don't want to let Tina down and have her think I'm suddenly disloyal after all this time."

"Thirteen years is hardly disloyal, love. If anything, she may be thrilled for you. Why not have a chat with her after work today?"

"Perhaps I should, but it may not be a happy moment."

"You know, Gary may have wanted this for you two. Remember, sometimes things happen for a reason."

"I don't know, Jean…." Briana sighed. "I've been here thirteen years, and this man, I barely know him."

"Have a talk with Tina," Jean encouraged. "She knows people and can look further into it if you're so concerned. In any event, I doubt a mad killer is going to offer you such a great job opportunity most women in our business would give their eyeteeth to have. I still say you should go for it. Five bucks tells me that Tina will say the same."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"So when were you going to break the news to me?" Tina asked at the end of that day.

Briana stopped short. "How did you…." she began. "Did you talk to Jean?"

"Actually, I had a long conversation with your new special friend," Tina replied with an approving grin. "And if you're concerned with what I think, Bree, I say you should grab the opportunity while it presents itself."

"Perhaps, but I feel so terrible about leaving, especially when you were the one that gave me my start in this business when no one else would even give me a chance. You know I'll always be grateful for that."

"Don't," Tina shook her head. "Be assured if–and that is a big if, because I think things are going to turn out brilliantly–there is a small chance things don't work out with Brian, you will always have a job here to come back to."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. He's really pushing for you, lady, so I have a feeling this is going to be one great career move for you."

"Well, I will admit it may beat doing perms and rinses on seventy year old ladies for the most part."

Tina laughed. "Too true. The only difference you'll only have _one_ client to worry about and you'll have better pay and less bullshit. Plus you'll travel. Can't beat that, honey."

"Meanwhile, I'm sure Phyllis, Jill and Ray will be clawing each other for the customers I have already," Briana chuckled. "The more you talk about this, the more I'm leaning toward taking it."

"Good, because I told Brian I'd strong-arm you," Tina grinned. "As for your current clients, I've already divided them among the other three so I won't have a war on my hands."

"Why do I have a feeling you're trying to get rid of me?" Briana teased.

"Any other circumstances, I'd fight to the death to keep you, but this? If it were dangling before me, I'd grab on in a second. Bree, these kind of chances rarely come along and God knows what you've been through since Gary died, you could use a break in life. Someone's trying to give you a nudge in another direction by doing this. There's the brass ring, lady. Why not grab it?"

Briana thought a moment. "You know what? I should! There's really nothing here for me anymore. Gary's parents retired to Florida, the house has been sold, my investments are just sitting there, all I have to go to is an empty apartment at night, and no kids to worry about. Yes, why not? I should do this! Everyone is right; it's time for me to start living."

Tina grinned again. "Now you're talking. Now, for just formalities, I need a two week notice just for your employment file."

"Hand me a pen and paper and consider it done," Briana smiled back.

_An hour later:_

"How did it go?" Brian asked.

"Fantastic," Tina replied. "It took a little nudging, but she finally agreed that your offer is an outstanding one. As of right now, I have her two week notice in her file."

"Really? Tina, you are a true genius."

"Let's not go overboard. I think Bree was more concerned I was going to be upset she had gotten this offer and was considering leaving. If anyone should be getting ahead in life, it is she."

"You know I owe you big for this, right?" he said gratefully.

"Just doing my end," Tina chuckled. "But in any case, I'm sure you and Bree are going to have a wonderful working relationship."

"You know, Tina, I think you are absolutely right. It's going to be a long two week wait, but I think I can manage that long."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next few weeks into Briana's new job had been quite an adjustment period, and though it appeared to the average outsider that she was doing well, she was actually a mess inside.

For one, compared to so many other, glamorous people around her, Briana felt she had fallen on the short end of the stick and wondered what _anyone_ saw in her to even offer her this position. Perhaps she shouldn't have let Tina talk her into this. She had been happy at her old job, right?

This particular day had been one of a Smackdown taping and Brian had been in a snit all day about something, bitching and complaining about everything.

It was all Briana could do to both hold her tongue and not yank his hair out by the roots as she worked on him.

"Ow! Bree, Jesus, what are you trying to do, scalp me?" he cried at one point as she pulled another section into a ponytail.

"Try sitting still and keeping your mouth closed and I wouldn't have to yank so hard," she snapped.

"Whoa. Mooooo-_dy. _Time of the month?"

Briana glared at him. "Why is it when you're going around with a rod up your ass, it's perfectly fine, but when women are in a mood, it's assumed they're on their period? God, you're a piece of work." She then threw down her supplies. "Fine. Do your own damn hair."

With that, she went into an empty room and slammed the door.

He turned around and stared at the closed door for a few minutes, wondering what the hell was wrong. Ever since three days after Briana had come to work with him, she had either been snappish or quiet.

He racked his brain, wondering what he had done wrong to piss Briana off and make her do such an about face in the last few weeks.

When Brian had tried to talk to her about it, Briana had blown him off, insisting everything was fine; she was tired, or busy, or whatever.

_Well, it was time to try again, _he thought.

"Bree," he knocked on the door. "Come out here. Let's talk. Something's up."

"No," she sniffed.

"Come on, sweetheart. If it was something I said or did, I'm sorry. Am I putting too much on you or something?"

"No…."

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. You've been a wreck for the last few weeks. I don't think that is over 'nothing.' You can talk about it, you know. I won't bite."

"It's stupid," Briana sniffed again.

"It's not stupid if it's upsetting you. So what is it? Open the door."

"You'll just laugh at me."

_Well, at least the door was open_, he thought. _Some progress was made._

"Why would I laugh?" he asked as he approached her, noticing she'd been crying.

"Because it's really stupid."

"Try me," Brian encouraged before something came to him. "Wait a minute. I may have an idea, though."

Briana looked at him oddly. "Oh yeah? Share your theory, oh genius one."

"You wouldn't by chance be suffering from a bit of homesickness, would you?"

She looked at the floor. "Maybe."

He had to smile. "You know, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes I get that way too."

"But how? You've traveled around for years. This is all new to me. I never really been outside my own town until now, except on one run with my husband a few years ago."

"Well, yes, going to new places can be fun, but there's nothing better than coming back to familiar stomping grounds. Of course, I haven't been the best guy in the last few weeks to help you getting used to stuff. Plus stupid shit has been going on all day today and I know I've been like a bear with a sore ass. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

She brightened a little. "It's fine. I haven't exactly been Miss Cheerful and Perky either."

"It gets better after awhile."

"What?" she asked, a little confused.

"The whole homesick thing."

"Oh. Well, thanks for letting me know that."

"And don't be holding stuff in from now on. I'm good for letting people vent, in case you didn't know that either."

She smiled. "I promise."

"Good. Now stay here a second; I have a surprise for you."

Briana began to laugh, the first time she had felt like doing so in the last few weeks. "What are you up to?"

"Just stay there. You're going to love this."

He then returned, plopping down a box and grinning as if he'd accomplished something. "Open it."

"You didn't have to get me anything. It isn't my birthday or any holiday," Briana protested.

"I know, but open it."

She sighed. "All right, if you insist."

Briana then opened the box, delighted and surprised with the contents inside. "Bri! These are my supplies from home! But these are from Tina's–"

Brian stopped her, nodding. "I know. Tina insisted on packing them up and had in mind that you should use equipment your hands were familiar with instead of the shit around here. Something about 'transitional objects' helping to alleviate homesickness a bit. And I tend to agree."

"Well, thank you. That was very sweet of both of you."

"Want to give them a spin?"

She hugged the box, nodding eagerly. "I'd love it!"

"Fantastic. These ponytails aren't going to do themselves, sweetheart. Let's go have some fun with your goodies there."

She laughed again and followed him back out to the next room, with a new optimism that things were going to get better from there.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The following weekend, Brian was scheduled for a charity golf outing with a few of the other guys, and had invited Briana to come along. Since she had finally gotten everything settled in her new apartment and really had no other plans, she happily agreed, much to his pleasant surprise.

For some reason, even though they were getting along well, Briana had always turned down his past invitations. But today was different, and Brian was determined to make sure both of them had a good time.

When he had appeared in a pale blue polo shirt that was a little baggy, khaki shorts that covered his knees, a ball cap over his blond curls and the ubiquitous golf shoes, try as she might, Briana couldn't prevent herself from giggling at the sight.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied, suppressing the giggles, but Brian noticed her shoulders still quivering.

"Jesus, come on, I look like a dork, don't I?"

"Of course not. You just seem so…._different._"

"Like a dork," Brian sighed, fiddling with a golf club. "Maybe I should try something else."

"Don't be ridiculous. We're going to be late. Quit goofing off, even if that club is about as big as you are."

"This 'club', sweetheart, is what is called a five iron," he corrected her.

"Fine, five iron. It's still almost as big as you are. And where is your other glove?"

"It's a golfing glove. You only need one."

"I really have a lot to learn, don't I?" Briana asked.

"You and I both. It took me a month to figure out all these damn clubs. I even took lessons. I'll probably get my ass handed to me today, but at least it's for a good cause."

"And you're always up for a good cause, as we all know," she smiled.

"Oh yes," he agreed. "So are you up for dinner afterward?"

Briana paused for a moment, not sure what to say, before Brian cut back in. "I brought a change of clothes," he added.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt," she finally answered.

_Wow, two in a row,_ he thought. _This is definitely my lucky day so far._

_Later:_

The charity tournament had gone well, and even though Brian didn't win, it wasn't as bad as he had thought either.

"You know, that was kind of fun," he said, grinning, when he approached Briana.

"Before or after you nearly sent your group into cardiac arrest by almost driving the golf cart into the pond?"

"Okay, okay, so I'm not the greatest cart driver in the world. Sue me."

"You have one mighty golf swing, though," Briana answered.

He glowed. "Yeah?"

"That was one hell of a hole in one you got at one point," she nodded.

"Oh….well, gee, thanks."

_Was he blushing?_ Briana wondered, trying to keep from giggling.

"Anyway," she continued, "what did you have in mind for dinner?"

"There's this kick ass pizza joint right down the road," Brian said. "And after all this golfing, I'm fucking starving."

"All this fresh air and exercise and you're going to sabotage it with pizza?" She raised an eyebrow.

"You only live once, Bree," he grinned, heading to a changing room. "And I'm not about to waste it eating rabbit food."

Briana stood outside, shaking her head and laughing. One thing about this guy, working for him was anything but dull.

_At dinner:_

"Is that all you're going to eat?" Brian asked, observing the salad bowl in front of her when the pan of pizza was laid in front of them.

She nodded. "I think it should suffice with a slice or two of pizza."

He turned up his nose. "For six bucks, at least put some cheese, dressing, and croutons on that shit. Jesus. You don't have a fluffy tail and ears on top of your head."

"No, but my bottom may expand a bit more with all that," she replied.

Brian quirked an eyebrow. "And?"

"And it will be your fault," she finished.

"Good," he grinned. "At least I know my help is being treated and fed well."

"You are a strange, strange man," Briana shook her head, laughing and opening a pack of dressing.

"I must be doing something right for you to still be around. Either that or I'm pretty darn cute."

Briana smiled. "Perhaps both and then some."

"Well, aren't you a sweet thing to please. Which brings me to a big announcement. The new house show schedule is up and guess where we will be heading in about three weeks?"

She gave him a look. "Are you saying…."

"Time for a visit home," he grinned.

Briana was speechless, hugging him gratefully. Though things were going well in her new life, it would be good to see old friends again, even if it was just for a day. There would be so much to catch up on.

She never thought she'd ever think it, but damn, Briana loved this job!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Briana had been cleaning and inventorying her supplies, making note of things she needed to pick up on her next trip to the beauty supply house. Out of the corner of her eye, she'd seen Brian fiddling around in his bag digging for something, and had gone over to inspect his hair.

He looked up, perplexed. "What?"

"I think you're due for a trim," she announced, taking a closer look at a blond strand.

"Oh come on. Didn't we just go through this shit not long ago? You keep this up, I may as well have my head shaved."

"Brian, you have more splits here than a Vegas divorce court. No amount of conditioner in the world cures split ends; you know that. The only option is to trim them off."

"Now?" he asked with a whine.

"Well, not now; my good scissors are being sharpened at the supply house. I have to go pick them up and get a few other things while I'm there. Don't worry; you only need half an inch off."

"Thank you Jesus," he sighed, eyes to the ceiling.

"What is with you?" she asked with a laugh. "Not long ago, you were complaining that it was getting too long and too hot, and that was why you were having it pulled back. Now you're whining like a three year old for needing half an inch trimmed."

Brian gave a shit eating grin. "Because we all know the truth here, sweetheart. You just like playing with that stuff."

"My, my, aren't we full of ourselves today," she teased, then noticed something else. "Are you still using that dollar store shampoo?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's drying your scalp," Briana replied.

"Anything else about my head you'd like to critique today, my dear?" he asked. "I shower twice a day; of course I'm going to be a bit dry."

"Using cheap shampoo isn't helping your case," she shook her head. "Honestly, Brian, will it kill you for once to invest in some good shampoo. You really will see and feel a difference."

"I'm not spending twenty dollars for some shit just to run down the drain. That's like chicks spending ten bucks for tampons just to flush them down the toilet."

"Actually, there are some good brands of shampoo for under six dollars," Briana pointed out. "We can pick one at the supply house when I go get my things."

"Wait, you want to drag me to a supply house to buy me _shampoo? _Jesus."

"Try it; you may like it. Besides, it isn't like you're doing anything until tonight anyway."

Brian sighed. "All right. I guess I've done a lot worse. At least we're not going to pick out bras for you."

"No," she joked. "That may come later."

_Later at the beauty supply house:_

While Briana had gone to the back to pick up her newly sharpened scissors, Brian stood around looking at the various items on shelves, wondering who the hell used some of this stuff.

When she had come back to the front, they had gone down the shampoo aisle, going over various brands. Briana handed him a bottle at one point, saying she had used that brand when she had worked for Tina.

Brian took off the cap and sniffed the contents, making a face. "Are you kidding me? This smells like ass."

She shook her head, putting the bottle on the shelf. "You are so impossible sometimes. Here's a good one too. It's even on sale."

"Does it stink too?"

"You may smell it if you like." Briana rolled her eyes.

"Ahh," he said dreamily. "Much better. Strawberries and cream. The girls will dig this. Let's take it."

"Glad you finally approve. Now let's get the rest of my stuff."

While Briana finished with the items on her list, Brian then felt the tell-tale rumbling of a real winner in the brewery. By the time she had gone into the perm section, his oncoming fart had moved to the starting gate and was ready to run. He looked around and there was nobody else around, so Brian ducked to a corner and sneaked it out silently.

He waited a moment for it to get out of his pants before going back to where Briana had been.

After a few moments a female employee walked directly to the section to stock some items, and as she was reaching toward the shelf where Brian had been, she froze in place dropped the item she had held and started gagging and sprinting toward the rest room.

Brian tried to keep a straight face and continued lagging behind Briana as nonchalantly as he could, but end ended up laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes when another customer had come down the aisle and commented on how bad the perms had smelled.

Briana had given him a strange look and he had gotten himself under control by the time they had gotten to the checkout counter. As the cashier checked out Briana's purchases, the accosted female employee and the customer who made the perm remark earlier had also come to the checkout counter, and at that point Brian started laughing uncontrollably all over again.

Both the two women and Briana made him on the spot and he started laughing even harder and tried to apologize but was laughing too hard to do so.

Briana shook her head in annoyance and practically dragged him outside once she had paid for her items, Brian still laughing.

"I can't believe you did that," Briana admonished him once they were outside.

"Better out than in," Brian grinned.

"Couldn't that have waited until we came outside?"

"Um….not quite, which is why I moved from you to begin with."

"Some of the guys are right about one thing; one can dress you up, but can't take you out. And to think you were complaining about shampoo 'smelling like ass.' My God, Brian."

"Be thankful it was me and not Paul," he replied, only to have her glare at him. "Okay, okay, I'll be a good boy and try to control my bodily functions in public from now on."

"All right," Briana nodded. "Now, let's get back so I can get that trim done and we can try out your new shampoo before the show tonight. But to be on the safe side, I'm stopping at the drug store for some Gas X strips for you first."

_One thing about it, _Brian thought, _at least she had a sense of humor._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"I cannot believe he did that," Tina laughed when Briana recounted the beauty supply incident from the day before on the phone.

"Yeah, nothing like being embarrassed in public by your own boss," Briana answered. "We might have actually gotten out unscathed if Brian hadn't been laughing like a hyena. And if that wasn't enough, he came back from the taping last night after drinking with some of the guys and they got this bright idea to do naked racing in the hallway. Between that and the marijuana smell coming from the room across from us, it's a wonder security didn't throw us out of here."

"Never a dull moment, huh?"

"You're telling me. I took this job again why? Gary was a funny guy, but this one is downright _nuts."_

"Oh come on, you and Brian love each other."

"Sure, my dream man has always been one that streaks in hotel hallways and farts in public, among other things," Briana laughed. "If I didn't know he was already this way naturally, I'd think Brian had been hit on the head too many times."

"Still, he's fun, right?" Tina asked.

"That he is," Briana agreed. "And you know, just like Gary was, he's just so respectful toward women. So many of the guys in this company are such assholes, but Brian is just so cute. Not just to me, but to a lot of the girls. I will admit it more than compensates for the times he either embarrasses me or has his whiny moments."

"Still won't cut his hair, I presume," Tina guessed.

"No," Briana replied, "but to be honest, I'm at the point I'm reluctant to do it even if he ever changed his mind. Perhaps he's right; I do enjoy messing with it too much. Of course, I won't tell him that," she laughed. "Don't want to contribute to a swelled head."

Loud stomping and cursing could be heard in the corridor. "Bree!" Brian yelled.

"Speaking of the devil, the prince has returned. I cannot figure for the life of me how a man so small can make so much noise," Briana said.

"The short ones usually do," Tina replied. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to work. Looking forward to seeing you next weekend."

Just as Briana had hung up, Brian came in with coffee. "Jesus, there's fucking snow flurries out there; what the hell? Hello, it's _April! _One would think we would be done with this shit."

"Welcome to the Northeast," she nodded, taking a cup.

"Anyone good on the phone?" he asked.

"Just Tina. We were catching up."

"Ah discussing your sexy new boss, eh?" he teased.

"Yeah, all your embarrassing behavior lately," she joked back. "Actually, she's looking forward to seeing me next weekend. By the way, did you ever get around to getting Paul's birthday present? It's next week, you know."

"I'm still working on that, but thanks for the reminder. Hey, if you have some time later, you think you could give me a dye job?"

Briana looked at him incredulously. "Huh?"

"Yeah, make me a little blonder," Brian grinned. "I'd do it, but with my shitty luck, it would come out bright orange or something."

"I'm sure we can work something out," Briana smiled, nodding. _Wow, I never thought he was the vain type, _she thought.

_Later:_

"Why should I have gotten stuck in that lumberjack bullshit?" Brian complained as the color processed on his head. "I'm telling you, Bree, I should be showcasing those kind of matches, not being one of the fucking extras."

"Of course you should," Briana agreed, checking a strand to make sure everything was all right.

"Enjoying yourself?" he finally grinned.

"Just making sure you don't overcook," she smiled back, patting his shoulder before going back to the instructions she had been reading.

"I'm not going to turn green or something, am I?"

"Actually, you're going to be a lovely lighter blond," Briana reassured him. "You'll be beating women off with a stick."

"Right, maybe if I added about a hundred pounds to my ass and five inches to my height."

"Don't be ridiculous. You must be doing something right the way you are; you still have fans."

"You're not so bad yourself, sweetheart," he grinned again, giving her a sly wink.

"Well, thank you, Bri, that's very sweet," Briana smiled appreciatively before the timer went off.

"Go wash your hair," she instructed, "and make sure all that stuff is out or you will be bald at some point. I left a dryer in the bathroom too."

Brian nodded and went off to do as told while she cleaned everything up and put away her supplies.

After awhile, she'd heard the dryer running from the bathroom and several more minutes had gone by before an odd feeling of being watched overcame Briana.

She hadn't initially noticed, but he had come back from the bathroom and was studying her, studying everything with approval from the pulled-back dark hair to her ass.

_Ah, my favorite part, _he thought slyly. _And she has quite a nice one._

Briana had looked up from what she had been doing, turning around to find Brian in the doorway with the look on his face.

"What?" Briana asked quizzically. "Everything all right? It turned out very nice."

Brian cleared his throat and blushed, a little embarrassed from being caught. "Uh, yeah, I'm good. Thanks for doing this. I'm going to have a smoke."

She gave him a strange look. "Okay…."

_Oh Briana, _she thought as she wondered exactly how long Brian had been there staring at her, _you always seem to get the eccentric ones, don't you?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"This is bullshit," Brian grunted when they had gotten back to the hotel. "You make me look all nice and stuff, and then what happens? I get dressed just to sit backstage all night with my finger up my ass. Jesus."

_Here we go again, _Briana thought, and then spoke up.

"You know, the draft is coming up next week," she said. "Maybe things could pick up from there."

"Sure," he said, rolling his eyes and flopping on one of the beds. "Of of two things can happen. They'll either keep me where I am and toss me in some random place about twice a month, or put me somewhere else and I'll be doing exactly what I did tonight."

"Or there can be something in the works you might not even know about."

"Ah, Bree, the mighty optimist. Yeah, maybe I should quit bitching so much and be grateful I still have a job, considering how many people got released in the last several months."

"That's more like it," Briana nodded, passing him the TV remote and his laptop. "Here, maybe some porn will cheer you up."

Brian gave her a look. "Very funny. Besides, there's no good porn; I've watched it all."

"Check and see if they have the Playboy Channel. They usually do in places like this."

"I don't like Playboy, and I think I've gone through everything on the net. And before you make a smart ass comment, yes, I watch way too much porn."

"You know, I've seen those sites where fans write dirty stories about their favorite people."

Brian grinned. "I've read those too. Some of those are pretty hot."

"Good God. Is there anything you haven't done?"

"Not really. I have my dirty-minded moments."

"Not that I can tell," she teased.

"Anyway, I'm going to grab something to eat," Brian announced, getting off the bed. "You want anything?"

"Maybe just a soda," Briana said.

"It's a long way until morning. That isn't going to hold you."

"All right, just get me a burger with it," she sighed.

"That's my girl. I'll be back in about twenty minutes."

After he had gone, Briana sighed, finally glad to have a few moments alone to take a shower. She didn't really mind sharing a room sometimes–she enjoyed Brian's company really–but sharing something as intimate as the bathroom with someone that wasn't her husband still made Briana feel a bit odd at times.

With that, she usually made the habit of waiting until Brian was either out of the room or still asleep before she would shower, being completely dressed by the time he'd come around.

Briana had been enjoying the warm shower spray and had gotten lost in thought, not realizing how much time had passed. In the process, she hadn't heard Brian return about twenty minutes later with their food order.

She had just finished drying off and was about to put her night shirt over her head when the bathroom door opened.

"_Brian!" _she exclaimed, trying to yank down the shirt quickly, but not before he'd seen plenty.

"Oh my God," he gasped, backing out. "I am _so _sorry!" He slammed the door closed and went back to where he had been.

Brian had been picking at his food, looking a little flustered and nodding toward where her order lay when Briana came out of the bathroom, now dressed for bed.

"Thanks for getting that," she smiled wanly. "And next time knock if you need to use the bathroom and you don't see me in here."

"Sorry," Brian said, blushing and looking down at the floor.

He cleared his throat and went into the bathroom shortly after, where she could hear the toilet flush and water running a few moments later before he'd come back out.

He still wouldn't look at her. Briana tried to make small talk with him, but she could get little more than a few grunts and nods from Brian.

"You know, it's no big deal that you walked in on me getting dressed," she finally said. "Accidents happen. I'm not upset about it if that is what's bothering you."

He finally looked at her, this time smiling. "You mean it?"

"Of course. My God, Brian, you acted like you never saw a half naked woman before," she said, breaking out giggling.

"Yeah, well it's not like I'd go barging in on someone that works for me all the time," he said and then blushed.

"Aren't you cute. Such a gentleman you are. Only a real gentleman would blush about something like this."

"Um….yeah, well, don't worry, it isn't like I'm going to blab to the news sites about how gorgeous you are in a night shirt and no make up," he grinned. "Better eat your stuff before it gets cold."

"Of course," she nodded. "And in case you're wondering, it's Shark Week on Animal Planet."

"Let's just avoid that channel," he said, finally settling on a classic comedy channel. "This is a better option and won't cause lasting nightmares."

_Later:_

"What's happening, dude?" Paul asked cheerfully.

"Man, it's two in the morning. What are you doing up? You have shows the next couple of days."

"Yeah, I know, and I'm nervous as fuck. So how is it working out with the lady?"

"Well, I walked in on Briana changing earlier," Brian replied. "She was half naked. I had to take a major league piss when I came back from Wendy's and–"

"Holy shit," Paul snickered. "You finally got to see some naked booty. So it is as nice as you say?"

"Freaking hell, Paul, that's the woman who does my hair! Will you think with the right head for a change?"

"Sorry," Paul replied, though still snickering.

"I got to admit one thing, though," Brian sighed. "Since seeing that, I had to go rub one out big time."

"And you just bagged on me for thinking with the wrong head."

"Seriously, man, the only place I could do it was in the shower and I had to wait until Briana was in bed; otherwise she'd think I was some kind of fucking pervert."

"Aren't you?" Paul teased.

"Shut up. I'm not like you, Paul. I'm not going to screw anything with a pulse just because I'm horny."

"I'll have you know I have standards."

"Oh, you sure do. Any chick of yours has to have a pulse, big fake tits, size zero hips, no brains, and be under twenty five," Brian retorted. "Sorry, holmes, you're way out of Briana's league and I have dibs on her anyway. She thinks I'm cute and a gentleman."

"You been putting roofies in her coffee or something?"

"Very funny, ass wipe. Is it so impossible to think a woman may actually prefer brains over beauty once in awhile?"

"If you say so, man."

Briana came out to the hall. "Who are you talking to?" she asked. "We have to leave early tomorrow."

"Paul," Brian replied. "I'm sorry, Bree; did I wake you up?"

"It's fine," she nodded, and then took the phone. "Goodnight, Paul. Go to bed."

She then snapped the phone shut, handing it back to Brian and leading him back into the room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"What do you have planned for Easter?" Briana asked. "Going to hang out with the family?"

Brian shook his head. "Not really, since I have to leave that night anyway. Besides, I was figuring since your birthday is the day before, we could do something."

"Oh really?" she teased, but secretly flattered. "And who is to say I don't already have plans?"

"One, you haven't lived out here long enough to know anyone very well, and two, I know you well enough by now that you aren't exactly a party animal."

"All right, you got me. But how about going to a service on Sunday?" Briana suggested. "It's not like we get time off very often."

He shook his head again. "I'm not even allowed in a church. I don't even believe in God, but Jesus was kind of sexy."

Briana rolled her eyes. "Oh, for Pete's sake."

"Really, Bree, when the Christian guys and those Jehovah Witness nuts come to my door, I tell them I'm destined for Satan and was born on Friday the 13th. They walk off the porch blessing themselves."

"You are one strange little man."

"Tell me something I don't know," Brian grinned. "Anyway, I got some nice things planned for your birthday."

"Oh? And what would those be?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be much of a surprise. So how about it? Would you like to spend your birthday with a funny looking, short thing?"

"You are not funny looking, and of course I would," she smiled. It would be the first birthday she'd spend with someone since Gary's death.

"Good. Now I have some stuff I have to do first that day, but then the night is ours. I'll make sure you'll really enjoy yourself."

Briana could already see the excitement in his eyes. "Knowing you, I'm sure I will and then some."

_That weekend:_

Briana had been dressed and ready to go at the time Brian had specified; she had been waiting for him to arrive at the time he said he would when the phone rang.

"Um, Bree, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to be held up here for a bit," Brian said. "As soon as I'm free, I'll be right over."

"Sure," she said. "No problem. Thanks for calling and letting me know. Just call back when you're ready to come here."

"Thanks, I'll do that."

Briana hung up, wondering what was so important with his buddies that Brian had to be delayed.

_Probably some business stuff,_ she thought. At least he had the decency to call, which was more than she could say for most people.

She sat down and did some organizing for some work-related items, listening to the TV and keeping an ear on the phone in the event Brian should try to call in the meantime. Eventually, Briana noticed it had been several hours and no word had come from him.

By midnight, he still hadn't called. Shaking her head in disgust, Briana knew something like this was too good to be true.

_Gary would have never pulled something like this,_ she thought, irritated, finally going to her room to get ready for bed and shutting off the phone. Yet another birthday alone.

_Meanwhile:_

"I told you I'd beat your ass at this game," Brian laughed. "Look who ended up in his underwear!"

"Yeah, yeah, you whooped me and took two hundred bucks in strip poker," Paul groaned. "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Brian grinned wickedly. "Serves you right for making fun of the short guy when we shot hoops earlier today."

"And to think it only took you how many poker games and six hours to do it."

"_What?!_" Brian then looked at the clock. "Oh fuck….I am so screwed."

"No, I'm the one that got screwed out of two hundred bucks."

"I wasn't talking about that. I was supposed to take Bree out for her birthday tonight. Now we got into this game and I lost track of time. Jesus, Paul, she's probably thinking I'm some kind of asshole now. I got to make a phone call."

"Better have a good explanation, dude," Paul said. "You know how women are when they get a rod up their asses."

"Yeah, but this isn't just any woman. I'll be right back."

"Good luck with that."

Brian sighed, going into another room and dialing Briana's number. To his disappointment, her voice mail picked up.

_Yep, she's pissed,_ he thought, sighing. "Bree, um, I'm sorry. I got sidetracked and lost track of time. Obviously I got this thing when I tried to call, so you're probably in bed by now. Anyway, I'll try again in the morning."

_A few minutes later:_

Briana had been in bed reading when the phone beeped, indicating she had a voice mail. She dialed in, picking up the message, and rolled her eyes.

_A little late now, isn't it?_ she thought as she listened to Brian's message. _Guess spending time with the boys is more important than the original plans for my birthday. Idiot. Screw him._

She promptly deleted the message without a response, thinking she'd see him at work on Monday.


	12. Chapter 12

-1**Chapter 12**

Briana woke in the middle of the night, not sure what time it was. It was as if someone was sitting on her chest and she couldn't breathe. _It hurt._

_No, _she thought. _It's just an anxiety thing. Just breathe deep and then try to go back to sleep._

But no matter how hard she tried, the pain just wouldn't go away this time. Afraid and tearful, Briana dialed 911, hoping she wasn't overreacting.

_5:17 AM:_

"This fucking building better be burning down or someone's bleeding to death," Brian growled when his phone rang.

Flipping it open, he snapped. "Your fifty cents, make it good."

His tone changed when the caller informed him what was happening. He bolted upright from the bed at the mention of Briana's name.

_Fucking hell! No, not **his** Bree!_

"What?! Is she okay? When did they bring her in? Yeah, sure, I can be there in about twenty minutes."

Brian tore out of bed and threw on the first clothes he saw, not noticing what he wore, and then grabbed his car keys, tearing out of the apartment.

Luckily, traffic wasn't heavy yet; rush hour wouldn't be for another couple of hours, and he was able to speed through town while mentally crossing his fingers at the same time that he wouldn't be stopped for a ticket.

He dialed Paul's number, and as figured, the jackass wasn't awake yet. Brian left a voice mail that something had happened to Briana and he would be at the hospital with her for as long as she needed him, and with that, they would have to cancel their plans for that day.

Paul would probably have a shit fit, but at this point, Brian didn't care. Bree needed him, and she was more important right now. It wasn't quite the way he'd envisioned making up for missing her birthday date the night before, but this would have to do–at least for now.

_Meanwhile:_

"Ms. Ford?" a doctor asked.

Briana was groggy from the medication and oxygen she had been given, taking a few moments to remember where she was. "Yes?"

"So far, your tests have come back fine, but I want to keep you for observation for a day or two just to make sure you're all right. You could have had what is called an arterial spasm, but I want cardiology to do a further work up on you. Simply routine."

"Sure…" She was totally out of it.

"They'll be taking you upstairs in a few minutes, and someone's on their way to see you."

"Okay…." Briana only wanted to go back to sleep and wished he'd just shut up and go away already.

Several minutes had passed by before she woke again, sensing another presence in the room. A man leaning down over her; a familiar face.

"Briana?" it asked softly. "Sweetheart? You okay?"

"Gary," she slurred. "You finally came back."

Brian was taken aback by her statement, shaking his head in confusion and left the room as the nurses came in to take her upstairs.

_How in God's name would she think he was her late husband?_

_Later that morning:_

"I don't even know why the hell I'm still here," Brian sighed, "especially after what happened in the ER earlier this morning when I came in."

"Man, they gave her some strong stuff," Zeke reassured him. "She was probably drugged out of her skull and thought she was dreaming of the guy. I'm sure it was nothing personal."

"Dude, she called me by _her husband's name. _The guy has been dead for two freaking years."

"Like you didn't have moments of being zonked when someone gave you morphine or some shit like that. Come on, man, cut the lady a break. I'm sure when they bring her back from that stress test this morning, Bree will be fine and happy as a pig in shit to see you."

"You got a way with words, Zeke."

"I'm just saying. And I'll bet any money she doesn't even remember what went down in that ER. She'd probably think you were ready for the hoo hoo hotel if you'd much as mentioned it to her."

"Hell, maybe I am; who the fuck knows? One would think I'd be used to people picking someone else over me anyway, even if it is a dead guy."

Zeke gave him an odd look. "My man, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you had something more for this lady than just her being paid for fooling with that mop on your head."

"Perhaps."

"Look, it's clearly obvious that you care about her to some degree; otherwise, your ass wouldn't have been sitting here since six this morning, even after she called you by some dead guy's name because she was all doped up. Fess up, bro. It's written all over you."

"Maybe."

"Maybe my ass. I think either when Bree is back on her feet or when you both get some down time, it's time for a serious talk. She isn't going to be around forever, man. Grab the opportunity while it presents itself."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

It had been a long night and an even longer morning. Briana still felt a little weak, which was why they had done the stress test with the adenosine medication instead of letting her use the treadmill. God, that thing had been brutal.

She must have been sleeping for some time before sensing some kind of presence in the room.

Turning her head, Briana saw a familiar sight beside her bed.

"Brian," she said softly.

His eyes flew open; he must have dozed off at one point.

"Hey," he replied. "How are you?"

"I'm still here, aren't I? How long have you been sitting there?"

"Uh….I guess awhile."

"You look like you were up all night. Hair everywhere, you haven't shaved, and you have pit stains on your shirt." Briana gave a low chuckle.

"They called me a little after five this morning to say you were here. I just threw some stuff on and came here right away. I was down at the ER before they brought you up."

"You've been here that long?" Briana squinted at the clock. "It's one thirty right now. Shouldn't you go home?"

_She doesn't remember what happened in the ER, _Brian thought, somewhat relieved. "Maybe, but I wanted to see how you were doing. Look, Bree, I'm really sorry about last night, I–"

She put two fingers on his lips. "It's fine. You showed up here. Not the ideal way to spend my birthday or the holiday weekend, but it could have been worse. Now that you know that I am at least going to survive, go home and get yourself some rest and cleaned up a bit."

He kissed her forehead, giving her hand a squeeze. "Anything you say, my dear."

_Later:_

"Good God, what happened?" Jean asked anxiously when Brian had tried to contact Tina. He figured the others had been close to Briana as well, so he had broken the news.

"Well, they brought Bree in with some chest pains early this morning and some tests have been done, but so far, it looks like she's going to be okay. In any case, I was trying to get in touch with Tina to let her know."

"Tina's on vacation this week, and normally I don't do this, but I can give you her cell and home numbers," Jean offered. "Would it be all right to let the other girls and Ray know what's happening too?"

"Yeah, sure, and thanks," Brian answered.

"How long is Briana going to be in the hospital?" Jean wondered.

"Well, it's mostly for observation, and so far everything looks okay, so I'm guessing no more than a few days."

"Shame on you overworking her so much," Jean teased, chuckling.

"Yeah, I guess I should take it easy on her, huh?" Brian said. "Anyway, thanks for letting me know how to get in touch with Tina. If I hear anything different, I'll give you guys a call back."

He then finished up the call before dialing Tina's cell number. She picked up on the second ring.

Brian explained what was happening, and that Jean had given him her contact information to get in touch with her about Briana. "I know you guys are close," he added, "and it was important that you should know."

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad you called. Is Briana all right?"

"So far, everything looks good," he replied, giving Tina the hospital information. "She might like to hear from you. Jean's already telling the others, so they will know too."

"Good. Thanks, Bri, for taking care of her. She really hasn't had anyone since Gary died and her in laws went to Florida. At least now it's good to know someone's watching out for her."

"You won't have to worry about that, Tina," Brian said. "I'm sticking by Bree for the long term. I'm going to grab a few hours' sleep and head back to the hospital later. I'll keep you posted on how she's doing."

"Thanks," Tina answered. "I'd like that."

Finished with his phone calls, Brian had been about to head to the shower when it rang. Looking at the Caller ID, he groaned.

"Hey Short Ribs," Paul said. "Where the hell are you? We were supposed to meet half an hour ago."

"One, try checking your fucking voice mail once in awhile," Brian growled. "There was an emergency that came up during the night, and I'm sorry if it disrupted your perfect little schedule. Second, make one more crack about my height and I'll pull you through this phone by your balls."

"Damn, you're cranky today. Who pissed in your canteen?"

"Bree's in the hospital."

"What?! Jesus, what hell happened?"

Brian explained the whole situation and how he'd gotten home only a short time ago, making some calls and was about to shower and get in a few hours' sleep.

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, looks that way so far. They probably won't keep her very long. I wouldn't be shocked that at this time tomorrow, she's raising hell to be let out."

"Well, in that case, go get some rest, dude. We can make plans for another time. Let me know how she is, okay?"

"No problem. Again, check your damn voice mail once in awhile," Brian yawned, and then hung up before shutting off the phone after making one final call. He couldn't wait to hit the bed.

_That evening:_

Briana turned up her nose at the tray of bland food before her, barely eating any of it. She had just shoved away the tray table when Brian came into the room.

"Don't you have a home?" she joked, glad to see him.

"I do and I hope to take you to it when your happy ass is out of here. How are you feeling?"

"Outside of this God awful food, a lot better than I was this morning."

He held up a fast food bag. "I have come to save the day."

"You know you're going to get us in trouble," Briana laughed, gratefully taking it. "But this will certainly beat dry chicken and weak coffee. By the way," she gestured toward the vase of pink roses, "thank you for the flowers."

"Glad you like them. I see you got a few other offerings too."

"Yes, perhaps because some little birdie told Tina and the gang I was here?" Briana raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Oh shit. I am so busted."

"It's perfectly fine. That was sweet of you to call them."

"Paul sends his regards too," Brian added.

"I know," Briana nodded. "He also sent that spider plant over there."

"Christ, leave it to dude to send something that grows all over the place. These things have babies like crazy."

"I think it's kind of cute," Briana nodded. "So how was the rest of your day? I guess you got some sleep after you told the world where I was?"

He nodded. "Then I woke up, I took some money out of the bank, got texted by Paul like 12 million times before I turned my phone back off, ate a bagel, picked up some decent food for you because I know about hospital food hell, and here I am."

"Yes." She kissed his cheek. "And thank you for everything."

"A man's got to take care of his help." He blushed a little.

"You're so cute," Briana said, pinching his cheek. "You are just too good to me."

"I'm good to all the lovely thick ladies," Brian replied with a goofy grin.

"Indeed you are," she agreed. "And since it is official I am allowed out of bed, want to go hang out in the visitor/patient lobby? This bed hurts my tailbone after awhile."

Brian nodded, grabbing her robe. "Works for me. Maybe we can walk off your dinner first."

"Speaking of which," she gestured at the bag that contained its remnants. "We need to destroy the evidence."

He laughed, putting an arm around her and grabbing the bag. "Right."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The day after Briana had finally been discharged from the hospital when all of her tests had come back in the normal range, she had been relaxing at home when her phone rang. It had been her neighbor.

"Well, hi, Mrs. Stevens," she said cheerfully. "What can I do for you?"

"I know you just got out of the hospital and I don't want to alarm you, dear, but there is a man on your front porch…..and he's appearing rather strange."

"What do you mean strange?"

"It's…embarrassing to describe. Shall I call the police? There's been break ins around here and Lord knows you've had more than your share of excitement already."

"No, I think I may have an idea what's going on. Let me take care of it."

"All right, dear, but be careful."

Briana assured that she would and hung up, going to the front door and peeking through the peep hole, shaking her head at the sight.

When she opened the door, Brian stood there with a cheesy grin, bunny ears on his head, in his underwear, rose between his teeth, and holding a wrapped chocolate rabbit he'd pulled out of a bag.

"_Brian! _Good lord, get in here!" She yanked him inside. "Mrs. Stevens across the street thought you were some strange prowler and was about to call the police!"

"And Happy Easter to you too," he grinned, handing over the present and the rose.

"What on God's green earth possessed you to show up like that? Where are your clothes?"

"Didn't I leave any here?"

Briana gave him a look, quirking an eyebrow.

"I'm kidding," Brian said, holding up the bag. "I have some in here."

"Did you honestly drive over here looking like that?"

"Actually, I didn't put the ears on until I got here."

"Good God. You should be lucky you didn't get pulled over for speeding or something. The last thing we need is you getting on some gossip site looking like that. Thank goodness I told Mrs. Stevens I'd take care of this, considering I don't exactly get half naked men showing up on my porch wearing rabbit ears every day. Now go get some clothes on."

"All right, but do you know how many chicks dream of me naked?" he kidded, heading for the bathroom.

Briana could only shake her head and laugh, wondering how she ended up with such a nut. Even with all the clowning around Gary had done in his own day, he wouldn't have done something as blatant as this.

Brian came out a few minutes later. "Well, do I pass inspection?"

"Much better," she nodded. "I haven't made dinner yet. Would you like to stay over for some?"

"Oh good, glad you brought that up. Actually I was wondering if we could go out tonight. There's this nice place–"

"Which drive thru?" Briana teased.

"Come on, Bree, do you honestly think I'd take you to a _drive thru _for Easter dinner?"

"Considering your earlier attire, I had to wonder," she laughed.

"Ha ha, okay, you got me. No, there's this little café down the road. Nice and cozy. I've been wanting to take you there. No nut jobs bothering us."

"Sounds lovely."

"It is, and they serve some kick ass Italian."

"Italian for Easter dinner? That sounds quite different and very yummy. Count me in; I'll get changed."

"You're fine the way you are," he protested. "It's a casual place."

"Casual does not mean me going in old sweat pants and a faded T-shirt," Briana replied. "I'll be out in about ten minutes."

"I'll get back in my underwear and rabbit ears," he joked.

"You will do no such thing, Brian David," she called back while changing into jeans and a white peasant blouse before digging for a pair of sandals and finding her purse.

"What on earth prompted you to show up here like that anyway?" Briana wondered when she came back out, ready to go.

"Paul bet me fifty bucks that I wouldn't have the balls to do it. Fucker should know better by now that I'll do just about anything for money. I can't wait to go home and collect. I took a picture of myself on your porch with my phone to email him proof I did it, by the way."

"I should have known he was involved in this some way." She chuckled and shook her head. "With that, let's go get some of that wonderful dinner."

Brian put the ears back on. "Right behind you, sweetheart."

"And get those crazy things off your head."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"How was Easter?" Tina asked when Briana came to visit a few days later.

"It was…..interesting, to say the least," Briana answered, filling her in about the whole incident with a half-nude Brian on her porch wearing bunny ears.

Tina broke out laughing. "Oh my God! Has that man no shame?"

"Apparently not. My poor neighbor lady thought he was a mentally deranged prowler and was about to call the police."

"Not sure about the prowler part, but I have to admit I have to question his sanity sometimes," Tina chuckled.

"I think Brian's hit his head on the mat too many times," Briana joked. "But on a serious note, I will admit he is a pretty fun guy to work for."

Raymondo then came out and spotted her. "Briana, darling!" He enveloped her in a hug. "Nice to see you again."

"And hello to you too, Ray," she said, returning the hug. "Good to see you too. So have you found a nice boyfriend yet?"

Raymondo shook his head. "No, unless your sexy new boss is available."

"Hate to burst your bubble, Ray, but I don't think Brian rows that boat, if you get my meaning."

"God damn. All the good ones don't. What a waste of one fine ass too. Man's even got hips made to hang on to while fucking."

"Raymondo!" Briana exclaimed, blushing a little.

"Oh, come on, darling, don't be trying to tell me you haven't thought about doing him either. I saw how you two looked at each other the first day he sashayed in here."

"Good God," Tina groaned. "Of all the gay stylists in this town, I had to have the horniest one working for me."

"And you love it, Miss Tina," Raymondo cracked with a mischievous grin.

"Ray, just get back to work," Tina sighed, shaking her head and giving a low laugh.

"As you wish," he said and then nodded toward the entrance. "And speaking of which, the fine specimen is heading in here right now."

"Hey, there you are; I knew I would find you here," Brian said cheerfully.

Briana gave him a confused look. "I thought you were going to the arena. And your hair is all over the place."

"Yeah, they're out of the gel we use when I go to the ring. Guess I'm going to have to use Ma's old method of spit. Hey, that shit works, you know."

"You'll do no such thing," Briana said, giving him another look.

"Here," Tina said, pulling something off a product shelf. "This one's on the house."

"Isn't this the stuff that is like eight bucks a tube?" Brian asked, studying the label.

"It beats a spit shine," Briana smiled. "And while you're here, why not go back and say a quick hello to Ray? It would make his afternoon."

"Oh, more like his whole _week_ would be made," Tina laughed. "He's pretty much fancied you since the first day you came in here and swept away our precious Briana."

"Jesus," Brian asked with a slight shudder, "what is it with me and gay guys?"

"I guess it's your sweet appearance," Briana smiled. "Honestly, I'm just asking for you to say hello, maybe give a photo and an autograph, not run off and marry the guy."

"You are one funny girl. All right, I guess five minutes won't hurt."

"Good boy," Briana giggled.

"Ray will have a very happy day," Tina added.

Brian shook his head, giving the two women a look before heading back to Raymondo's station.

_Later:_

"Bree, you know I love you and enjoy having you around, but never put me through that shit again," Brian groaned.

"What? I thought you and Ray looked pretty chummy back there when Phyllis took the picture."

"Apparently you missed the part where he copped a cheap feel of my ass. Jesus Christ. It isn't enough that twelve year old girls are having fantasies about me, but nothing beats that like a gay hairdresser grabbing my ass cheek right before the camera goes off."

"Evidently so. Ray can be a bit, how can I describe this?…..Yes, affectionate."

"Boy needs to watch the wandering hands. I get manhandled enough in the ring without your gay friends trying to molest me."

"Oh come on; Ray thinks you're cute, and frankly, I can't blame him."

"You're not helping much here, Bree."

Briana studied him for a moment. "You know, even with all the goofing and clowning around you'd been doing, I couldn't help but notice you've seemed rather somber lately. Is there something wrong? Seriously, we know each other well enough by now that a show doesn't have to be put on for me."

"Well, to be honest, I try to put on a show for you sometimes, because I know sometimes my words and attitude encourage you, and I don't want to affect that cause I'm having a bad day."

"Everyone has bad days," she pointed out. "But that's sweet you think so well of me."

"I'm just not the kind of person who likes to drag people down with me, sweetheart."

"You won't," Briana reassured him. "If anything, I don't mind being the bearing wall sometimes, and Lord knows you could use one occasionally."

"Well, you're a loyal friend, and I really do appreciate it. It's good to know someone cares every once in a while. I guess I don't tell you that enough, do I?" Brian wondered.

Briana smiled. "You don't have to. I can see it in your actions."

"To this DAY, I get so much shit. Even my own best friend talks a bunch of shit about me. You've seen it, Bree; when he's around people, he treats me completely different, but when we're alone, he does nothing but goof off and joke around!"

"Yes I have, which is why I don't talk to him much. What's even worse is when other people get in on it. I used to get into battles with my father in law all the time about how he used to rag on Gary. He should have been thankful to have had a son like him, just like Paul should be grateful to have someone like you in his life."

"I know. That's what hurts the worst, that no one can stand up for me because for some odd reason, my friendship's lesser to them then his is."

"Well, people can give me shit all they want, because I think differently. I wouldn't have the opportunities I have now if it wasn't for you. It's the least I can do, well, outside the fact you employ me."

"Well, I try to make you happy. I can't help it. I just couldn't be him if I tried, because I don't understand how you can claim you love someone and then treat them like they're lower than dirt. My sister and all my friends agree that he treats me like shit; hell, even some of HIS friends admit it. I don't know why he treats me like he does, but it isn't just because I'm whiny; everyone else sees it!"

"A blind person can see it," Briana agreed.

"And I'm terrified waking up every morning that I'm going to be released, because if I was, I'd have nothing to fall back on. Then you'd be out of a job and I'd really feel like an asshole because you left a good one to come with me."

"I don't think you need to worry about me, Brian. One, I invested well from Gary's life insurance proceeds and other things he left me, and second, Tina's already assured me I will always have a job any time I wanted to come back."

"Still, beside the point. The only other skills I have are being a dishwasher."

"Well, let's just not get too far ahead of ourselves," Briana replied. "Right now, you have other things to be concerned about than some so-called friend that sits on the couch and smokes a few while cutting you down while you're out here busting your ass three hundred days a year."

He smiled. _Finally someone who __**got **__him. _

"Yes, and he's going to have to deal with it, because I'm headed overseas soon for at least a week. And if he calls me every two seconds for something stupid, HE'S paying the bill on that shit!"

"I have a better idea," she offered. "Just turn the damn phone off when we're over there."

"Good idea. I can't stand the clingy shit when I'm already overseas and stressed. It isn't fun having someone being a total pain in the ass when you're trying to focus on work, you're on a fucked sleeping schedule, and weird accents all around you. And of course, he's already pouting like a three year old because I won't be here for his birthday."

Briana rolled her eyes. "He'll live. Your job is more important."

"Thank you. I got him a present, and I'll call him a bunch of times Thursday, but it's not my job to throw him a party. Come on, we're not kids; does one honestly need a birthday party every year?"

"Not really. My birthday is usually just another day. Well, except this year when I spent three days in the hospital, but shit happens."

Brian felt a little better. "You know, Bree, talking about this made me feel closer to you. Why can't more people be like you?"

Flattered, Briana hugged him from behind. "Probably because there aren't enough people in the world like _you. _Now come on, let's get you gorgeous for tonight for the big draft."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Kane vs. The Brian Kendrick with Ezekiel Jackson in a Draft Pick on the Line Match," it was announced.

"Oh my God!" Briana gasped. "Are these people _crazy? _Are they trying to get him killed? NO NO NO DON'T DO THIS!!!!"

She then spied Brian coming toward her direction, grabbing him. "Bri, don't do this," she begged.

"It's part of the job, Bree," he shrugged. "I'm not thrilled about it either, but I have to go out there."

"Just be careful," she said. "I cannot believe they're putting you in a match against KANE tonight!"

"All in a day's work, sweetheart. I got to go."

Briana sighed, shaking her head in bemusement as she watched him and Zeke make their entrance toward the ring.

The match began with Brian taking a cheap shot at Kane, who went after him as Brian ran around the ring.

Kane then encountered Zeke, putting him out with a big boot before putting Brian back in the ring and walking into another cheap shot. Brian managed to come off the ropes but Kane countered with a huge choke slam, ending the match in a squash.

Briana had sat in the back the entire time, not able to bear looking at the monitor. As the new draft pick was being announced, Brian was being brought backstage. She spied Zeke a few minutes later.

"Where's Brian?" she asked.

Zeke jerked a thumb toward a doorway. "In there," he said. "Briana–"

She didn't give him a chance to finish, pushing her way past him and into the room.

"Brian! Freaking hell, I still can't believe they did this to you! Are you okay?"

He gave her a lopsided, goofy grin. "I'm okay. Got a headache, but I think I'll live," he slurred a little.

"More like he got his bell rung too," a trainer added. "Should be fine later, though."

Brian patted her. "You're so beautiful when you're all worried, you know that?"

"We need to get you back to the room to rest up. We have a flight to Knoxville in the morning and you can't do anything in your present condition."

"Don't worry about it, I'm more embarrassed my underwear was hanging out. Last time I don't wear that Speedo commando!"

"Better your underwear than something else, with high definition television and all."

"Bet a lot of people would have liked that option. Maybe I would get a push again," he slurred with a laugh. "You want a peek too?"

Briana looked at him, shocked. "No. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm good, and you're beautiful," Brian said with the lopsided grin again. "Thanks for worrying, but a man's got to get dressed."

_He's really hit his head hard, _Briana thought with a small sigh. "I'll be right outside when you're ready."

_The next morning:_

Briana had already been awake and packed everything by the time Brian had woken up with a groan.

She presented him with a glass of water and aspirin, having a feeling he may need it. "How are you?"

"Like I got hit by a fucking freight train. Where's my cigarettes?"

"Right on the nightstand. If they were a snake, they would have bitten you."

"Very funny, Bree." He lit a cigarette. "You're just a bit of sunshine in the morning, aren't you? What time is it anyway?"

"Four fifteen," she replied. "You better get a shower and shift ass if we're going to make the airport."

"Christ, not even daylight yet," Brian groaned, heading for the bathroom. "Ahh well. Maybe this smoke and a shower will clear out the cobwebs from last night."

"The way you were acting, I thought you had a concussion. You went down pretty hard."

"I thought you couldn't bear to watch it on the monitor."

"I couldn't. Zeke filled me in."

"Shit, that reminds me; I owe him ten bucks. He made a bet the match last night would last less than five minutes. Turns out he was right."

"He also mentioned that blue underwear doesn't exactly go with a black and red Speedo." Briana tried to hide her grin, but failed.

"Very fucking funny, Bree." He shook his head, stubbing out the cigarette.

"His words, not mine." She gave him a strange look.

"Yeah, nothing like them hanging out for the world to see. Jesus. Anyway, think you can find me some hair gel and some coffee while I'm in the shower?"

"I think I can manage," she nodded, digging into one of her supply bags.

Finding what she wanted, Briana set the tube of gel out on the stand by his bed before going out to a 24-hour Dunkin Donuts, grateful to get away from Brian's off-key shower singing of whatever raunchy song happened to tickle his fancy that morning.

Briana returned about twenty minutes later with the coffee and a sack of donuts, sitting them down beside the tube of hair gel before turning her back to set down her purse.

When she had turned back around, there was Brian, stark naked and oblivious to her presence in the room.

"Oh my God!" she cried, turning her back to him. _"Brian!"_

"Jesus, Bree! I didn't see you over there!" He quickly put the towel back on.

"For Pete's sake, put some clothes on," Briana said, still not turning around. "I know you have an exhibitionist side, but this is ridiculous."

He got some clothes from a bag. "I'll be back out in a minute."

Briana shook her head, taking a sip of coffee. What was this man's fascination with the lack of clothes? First walking in on her in the bathroom not long ago, and now this. And what about that whole thing about her being 'beautiful' when she worried statement last night? Perhaps it was from him going down on the mat so hard, but still…..

"Better?" Brian asked, coming out of the bathroom fully dressed. "You can turn around now."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Much. There's your coffee. We'll have to be going soon."

"Ah yes," he laughed. "Good old Knoxville. The next city for me to job before we head overseas. Just another day at the office."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Guess by now you heard about the move," Brian said.

"I'd have to live in a cave not to," Briana nodded. "I'd been following the whole draft thing."

"I'll be honest, when I got the call this morning telling me to cancel my flight overseas, I was scared. When I heard Zeke got moved to ECW, I was terrified. I thought I was going to lose my job right then and there, Bree."

"Because you and Zeke were split up?"

"Yeah, that's it. But when I got a call telling me to pack my shit because it was time to get RAW, my confidence SOARED! RAW, Bree! Holy shit!"

She raised an eyebrow. "This should be fascinating."

"Highest rated, most viewers, bigger paycheck, TOP SHOW! RAW!"

"Well, I'm glad for you," Briana grinned. "Way to go. So what do they have in mind for you?"

"Not sure of that yet, but Jesus, Bree, Raw!"

She had to laugh. "Come on, Bri, it isn't like that's the first time you were on that show. You were there last year before you came back to Smackdown."

"Ahhh, someone has been doing her research."

"Of course. I'd like to have some idea for whom I'm working," she smiled again. "Have you talked to Paul since the big news?"

"Not yet. I'll call him later."

"I'd really think he'd rather hear it from you than reading it online. He's been your best friend for how long, you know."

"Of course, which is why I'll catch him later. Right now I have some shit to pack for my next big career move."

Briana looked as he headed toward the locker room, sighing, wondering if she too was about to be blown off and left behind. Well, she guessed Tina would be getting a phone call letting her know Briana would be coming home soon after all now that her present boss was in the big leagues.

_A few hours later:_

"Yeah, he called," Paul snorted when Briana talked to him that afternoon, "three hours _after_ I read about it."

"I'm sorry, Paul," she said. "I told him to get hold of you and all I got was 'I'll call him later.' I didn't realize how much later it would be."

"Well, Bree, he's a big VIP on Raw now; I guess peons like you and I don't matter anymore. You've been working on that mop on his head for how long now and I've been his best friend for how many years; what the hell do we know, right?"

"I'd figure you'd be the last person he'd blown off. I feel terrible."

"Don't, _senorita_. I guess the character is morphing into real life after all."

"I guess so," Briana sighed. "Maybe I should prepare to get my own walking papers and head back home to my old job. He just turned out to be like everyone else after all."

"Knowing him now, that may be a smart idea," Paul agreed. "More than likely, he's hitting up on the Raw divas as we speak without giving either of us a second thought."

_That evening:_

Briana sat, worried. Primo had called her saying Brian had gone out wheezing and talking about quitting after a phone call. The news worried her, but she had to step out for supplies.

Briana scribbled a note before she left in the event Brian should return before she did:

_What's happening? I was just told you went out wheezing a bit ago and you want to quit! Let's chat when you get back. –Bree_

He still hadn't returned half an hour later when she had come back. Now clearly annoyed, Briana was beginning to wonder if Paul was right

"I'm here," Brian announced when he finally returned forty five minutes later.

"Okay," she said icily.

"Well, when you want to start that 'chat', let me know."

_Gee, thanks for thinking so well of me, Mr. VIP, _Briana thought, and then turned around. "What's this about you wanting to quit?"

"Wow, Primo knows how to keep shit on the downlow. Quitting, you know, what people do when they don't want a job anymore."

"Well, my apologies for being concerned, Mr. VIP," she snapped.

"I'm sure."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, first you were happy about me going to Raw, then right before I go off with some of the guys, you do a 180 on me. Of course, I should have put two and two together after I found out you had a chitchat with Paul, who has been taking some verbal cheap shots at me on his own, by the way."

"I didn't know there was a law against talking to your best friend."

"Jesus, Bree, will you cut the sarcasm? You know, I figured you'd be excited for me, just like I thought maybe Paul would be too. But today was supposed to be a great day for me and now it's just all gone to SHIT."

"I warned you about this to call him, not three hours after the fact. As for being excited, you know I was at first, but well, don't take offense at this, but when the whole pay thing was brought up and all the big names, it came across as kind of arrogant. It was like the Pauls and Brianas of the world didn't matter, that we were just peons to you now."

"It's not arrogance, it's excitement, a bigger paycheck WOULD be nice, and yes, so would new competition. But instead I get to hear about your fucking depressed rants about how I'm JUST like everyone else, and no matter what you say, I know I'm not like everyone else. _Paul_ matters_, you _matter, yes, but if I can't get some kind of support from either of you in this, what's the point in caring what you two think about it?"

Briana stopped short. "Honestly? You're not feeding me a bunch of bullshit?"

Brian shook his head. "You'd be the last person I'd do that to, Briana."

"I'm sorry. Me and my stupid conclusions," she sighed.

"Well, it just got to me, like I thought you were one of the few people who understood who I am, why I am this way, my outlook on life, and to say I'm 'just like everyone else' was such a big insult to me, really."

"Yes, me and my big mouth talking without thinking."

He thought a moment, as if something had come to him. "Bree, is there something else? I know about your husband being killed in that accident and Tina filled me in on how good he was to you, but why do I have the feeling now that something else happened to you before Gary and then I walked into your life?"

She was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Something tells me you were hurt and hurt bad by someone and you'd gotten some trust issues because of it."

"It was a long time ago," Briana nodded. "I don't really like to discuss it much, but yes, some recent things brought it back and I took it out on you. Again, I'm sorry."

"Guy was an asshole, huh?"

"You could say that."

"Want me to track him down and poke his aorta with an icepick?"

Briana broke out laughing. "No! He isn't worth you going to prison for, mister."

"No, but you are. With that, you want to hear something else that will make you laugh?"

"Try me," she nodded.

"I was flirting with Candice for character. Me and her were in a private conversation laughing at it the entire time. I should've let you in on it, but we were bored and we both are pretty good at making up cheesy flirt lines, so I figured, since I somewhat stay in character, why not make some people mad at me? So to piss a few people off, we sat there flirting. Some guy kept asking me about it constantly and yes, it was mean to find other people's confusion or annoyance funny, but I don't know, I think of weird shit when I'm bored."

"All right," Briana said, not yet totally convinced.

"I just spent time explaining this to Paul because someone told him, so I figured since you seemed annoyed with me earlier, I'd explain it to you, too. And by the way," Brian added with a reassuring grin, "your job here isn't done by a long shot. You will still be _my_ Bree and your work won't be over until I say it is!"

That had driven it home. She believed him now. Any other questions in her mind were already answered.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Dude, I don't know why you two just don't spill your guts, play some tonsil hockey, then go fuck each other's brains out and get it over with," Paul said a few days later. "Quit dragging your ass already."

"Because I'm not like you, jumping on and humping the first thing that breathes," Brian replied. "Jesus, PL, don't you have at least one ounce of respect in that lump that sits between your ears?"

"I'm just stating the obvious, man. If Briana didn't care at least a little about you, do you honestly think she'd had such a bitch fit about that playful flirting you did with Candice? Come on now, think about it! And just the other day, I could have sworn to God I saw smoke curling out of your ears when that security dude over in Dublin was trying to hit on her."

"He had his hand on her ass," Brian scoffed.

"Exactly my point."

"_Nobody_ touches the goods; I don't give a shit who it is, even you."

"See? You're proving my case even further, Spanky." Paul gave a goofy grin.

"Christ. You are so full of shit. There's no law against caring about someone, you know."

"I think this goes beyond caring, my man. I've seen how you look at her and even Chavo says you about shit yourself when Briana's gone for more than five minutes. Look, man, I know you've been burned before; God knows I have been too. But I think this is the girl for you."

"Right, nothing like mingling with the workers. We all know how that works out in the end, PL."

"Is that what is stopping you?"

Brian sighed. "That and I doubt Bree's ready for something like that."

"She's been a widow for a little over two years; what do you mean you doubt she's 'ready'? You're not going to find out either way dancing around it or sitting around with a thumb up your ass," Paul answered. He stared in the refrigerator. "And you're out of mayonnaise."

"Dude, don't you have food at home?"

"Yeah, but yours is better. I got to buy the cheap stuff now, you know."

"Freaking hell. Let's just order something. Pick out whatever you want and call it in. I got to get some shit packed to leave again for Raw."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"None of that flaming tamale hot sauce shit, either, holmes. We eat _American_ in this house," Brian warned before going to pack.

_A few days later:_

Briana gulped down some coffee, preparing to go out for her early morning power walk, as she always did at the same time before beginning her day.

Brian hadn't been thrilled with the whole general idea of her doing such a thing all the time, especially in strange cities, but the nice thing about early morning hours were that most people were either not awake yet or too busy communting to their own jobs to even concern themselves with noticing her.

Besides, he was a fine one to talk; Brian had already headed out to jog by the time she'd gotten up and dressed for her walk.

_Do as I say, not as I do? Yeah, right! _Briana thought with a giggle as she headed out the door into the brilliant, sunny morning.

She had been moving along for a considerable amount of time, admiring the sights around her of the current town they were staying for that particular show, eventually finding a quiet river park when she went along the small trail near the water. Briana had been the only person on it that time of the morning.

Or so she thought.

Briana had been halfway down the trail when a tug on her arm snapped her out of her thoughts. She was about to scream until she had turned around and saw who it was.

"Brian! For the love of God, you about scared the hell out of me!"

He had been somewhat disheveled from his jog. "Exactly what I've been trying to tell you about going on your walks alone in strange cities You're lucky it was me and not some mad rapist down here."

"I'm fine, really." She shook her head, staring into his eyes for a moment before turning back to continue down the path

This time, Brian didn't just take her arm easily. He grabbed her and turned her to him, looking deeply into her eyes. His hand touched her cheek and watched her looking at him now. Her eyes bored through him and he knew then.

His mouth moved closer to hers and he kissed her lightly. Then looked at her again seeing her eyes become clear and kissed her again, longer and deeper this time.

He wanted her to know what he was feeling; Briana kissed him back so he would know what she was feeling too.

"Bree, I love you." Brian said it so softly but with conviction so there would be no doubt.

"I love you too." Her voice was strong now too.

The two embraced and walked along the waterfront arm in arm, each with a smile on their face and in their hearts. It was finally out in the open.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

One of the makeup artists had spied Briana coming in the next morning, a grin coming across her face. "Since when do you wear neck scarves?" she asked knowingly.

"Uh…I wanted to try something different," Briana replied.

"I'm sure." The other woman came over for a closer inspection, taking a peek under the scarf.

"Janine!" Briana gasped softly, trying to pull back. "What are you doing?"

"Is that what I think it is?" Janine studied the small purple mark. "Wow, there's been word you and Bri may have had a 'thing' going on, but I didn't think it was _this _hot!"

Briana rolled her eyes. "Nothing even happened until yesterday. Good lord, don't people have anything better to do than gossip?"

"Pretty much," Janine nodded. "So is he any good?"

"Janine!"

"Come on, I was just curious about the myth."

"What myth?'

"You know…short guys….and well, how he's packing the Speedo…" Janine made hand gestures and a few faces.

Briana felt her face redden. "Yes. But don't go around making this common knowledge, thank you very much."

"Come on, it isn't like you were some random ring rat. It was pretty clear he was nuts about you from day one. But it certainly explains why you look a little more tired than usual today," Janine giggled.

Briana cleared her throat. "Yeah, nothing like being pawed in the middle of the night too. Good grief."

"Well, they do say men have sex on the mind about every eight seconds."

Briana had to laugh. "I think in Brian's case," she said, "you better narrow those seconds of having it on his mind down to every _two."_

_Meanwhile:_

"Man, what's that on your shoulder?" Paul asked as Brian changed clothes.

"What's what?"

"That purple mark."

"Oh…uh, nothing. Probably bumped something."

Paul came over to inspect the area of interest closer. "Dude! That's a bite mark! You and Briana finally did the nasty!"

"Fucking hell, Paul, why don't you just tell the whole damn arena about my sex life?" Brian shot him a dirty look that would have shattered glass.

"Or apparently up to last night, the lack of one," Paul grinned. "So how was it?"

"For me to know and you to wonder."

"Oh come on, Spanky, I told you shit about my women."

"Call me 'Spanky' again and you'll be neutered. And the majority involving you were usually random skanks with big tits and a pulse. This is a serious commitment; possibly the first I've had in a long time, and I don't need you messing it up making me look like a jackass."

"First time she's been laid in two years, huh?"

"Jesus, you're hopeless. Possibly, yes. And before you ask, yes, things got a bit…..wild."

"That explains the purple mark." Paul gave a cheesy grin.

"Don't worry; she's been kind of 'branded' too." Brian returned the grin.

"Wait, you put a tramp stamp on her? Dude!"

"If you see a scarf around her neck today, you'll know why."

"Rough ass couple of shits, aren't you? I figured you for an animal, but _Briana? _Just when one thinks they know somebody."

"Hey, if you haven't had any for two years, you'd be wild too. Of course, I've seen you go ape shit when you haven't been laid for two _days."_

"You're a fine one to talk, shorty," Paul retorted. "This coming from the dude who used to hump my leg and moan in my ear when we toured together."

"That was during a dream one time!" Brian cried in protest.

"Right, keep telling yourself that. So what are you and the lady doing tonight?"

"Probably go to a movie and then just hang out. Go find yourself a nice girl and you're welcome to tag along. I think Maria or even Rosa might be around somewhere."

"Nah, I'll pass. You two love birds go have fun; I'm going to catch up with some of the guys and see what they've been up to lately. Blab some indy secrets, shit like that."

"Sounds like a plan. Just don't mooch too many drinks."

"Right. And don't screw your poor hair lady to death. She's been making you look pretty good lately."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"I need some advice," Brian said right off.

"Wait, with all the friends you have, you spend money on a long distance call just to ask me for advice?" Tina wondered.

"Considering this is about Bree, yeah."

"I figured you'd be the last person that needed advice about a woman." Tina couldn't help but chuckle a little

"Things aren't always what they appear. In my business, contrary to external beliefs, they're not always chasing after the short, lower card guys."

"Too bad, because you're a sweetie. So what do you need from me?"

"Well, you know Bree and I have been kind of drawn to each other for awhile…"

"That's an understatement of the year," Tina cut in.

"Yeah. Anyway, being we recently 'got together' of sorts, I've been doing some thinking, and I've been kind of wondering how Gary went about something like this."

"Oh my God, Brian. Are you indicating what I think you are?"

"Um….perhaps."

"This is incredible!" Tina was elated.

"So since I don't want to come across as a total dork and screw this up, any ideas?"

"Well, if your idea is proposing, my friend, scratch off the back booth of a truck stop in Cleveland off your list."

He began to laugh. "What?"

"That was how and when Gary popped the question, may he rest in peace," Tina answered.

"Jesus, I thought the guy was more creative."

"It was one of those spontaneous things, at least he tried to make it appear that way. Truth be told, he already had the ring and took her on that run with that purpose being part of the plan. While on that subject, you don't have to get her anything fancy; Briana isn't into anything elaborate. The one she got from Gary was only a quarter carat and you'd think he'd given her the Hope Diamond the way she acted at the time. By the way. she wears a seven."

"Wow, you just read my mind," Brian said. "But yes, definitely not a truck stop for the atmosphere."

"It was cute when she was twenty," Tina agreed. "In her early thirties after being widowed for two years, perhaps not so much, but I'm speaking from a woman's perspective."

"I have to agree. Now to find something better."

"Aren't you going back to Venice in a few days?"

"Sure, why?"

"Come on, use that rock between your ears, Bri. You're a smart guy; you can figure this out. Nice beaches, build a bonfire…."

"Tina, I swear to God, I am going to remember you in my will," he said brightly. "That is one kick ass idea!"

"That's a bit extreme, but glad I could be some help," Tina chuckled.

"Now let's hope the answer will be what we all expect."

"Bri, I have a very strong feeling it will be. For some reason, it would be pretty tough to say no to a guy like you about _anything."_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"I don't believe this shit," Brian groaned the next evening. "This can only happen to me when I went jogging this morning"

Briana turned from the view of the ocean. "What? Having a little pink won't kill you."

"A _little _pink? I look like a lobster. Jesus."

"That's why they make SPF 45. Try using some once in awhile." She managed to hide a grin, albeit barely. "Seriously, it isn't that bad. You are just barely pink, that's all."

"Well, be warned, it may put a damper on sex tonight."

"As if I would care. I could use a break anyway," Briana replied with a giggle.

"Damn, baby, do I wear you out that bad?" He grinned and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't get such a big head just yet, mister. Besides, I'd like to think there's more to us than just the sex, though I'm not complaining there. Like, just being out here tonight roasting hot dogs in the little bonfire is nice."

"Yeah, well, it's nice to try something different for a change when we're home."

"As you know, it takes very little to make me happy." Briana put her head on his shoulder.

"Good, because I can only DO very little to make a woman happy," Brian replied before reaching for something.

He then presented a small box. "I know this isn't a back booth of a truck stop in Cleveland, but….."

Briana's eyes widened. "Brian David, is this what I think it is?"

An idea came to Brian's mind. "Let's go to the guard tower!"

She was confused for a moment with the about face, but nodded. "Sure. I'll follow you."

When they got there, Briana followed him into the small guard tower with a small window in front, overlooking the vast ocean.

Brian looked in her eyes and asked her if she knew how much he loved her.

"Of course. I love you too," she said softly.

Brian's eyes began to gloss over as he said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

And then he dropped to one knee. The world stopped for Briana for one second before she saw it - there was a beautiful, bright, diamond ring nestled in the small box he had just shown her earlier.

_Oh my God, is this really happening? _she mused.

"Will you marry me?" he asked with a touch of hopefulness in his voice.

Briana hugged him, crying a little After about forty five seconds of that, Brian looked back at her, smiling, and whispered," Is that a 'yes'?"

"Yes. _Yes!"_

_My goodness, _Briana thought as they embraced and she admired her new ring, _when they say he's a man with a plan, they weren't kidding….._


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Back at work a few days later, Briana had come in to the hair and makeup area, rubbing her left hand and shaking her head.

"Everything okay?" Janine asked, concerned.

"Taking into consideration my hand hasn't been pulled off yet, yes," Briana joked.

"Oh yes, I heard you and your boss are official now. Congrats, honey."

"Thanks, Jan."

"Any ideas for your wedding?"

Briana sighed a little. "Well, it's going to be my second one, so I'm not having anything fancy."

"Well, in any case, I think it's going to be great. I'm happy for you two. And speak of the devil, here he comes. But what is with the hood on his head?"

Briana looked puzzled. "Your guess is as good as mine. I'll catch you later."

"Oh good, there you are," Brian said, a bit exasperated. "I got to talk to you. I have….kind of an emergency."

"Sure, I'm all ears," Briana nodded.

"Not here, in the other room."

"My God, this has to be important."

"You have no idea, kid."

Once they had gotten into the other room, Briana turned back to him. "So what's going on?"

Brian reluctantly removed his hood, revealing light blond roots and brownish-orange hair.

"What the hell…" she began.

"I'm going to fucking kill Paul," he replied.

"What on God's green earth did you guys do?"

"I needed just the roots done," Brian explained. "I went out and got some stuff; it was late and Paul said he'd come over and do them for me. Yeah, he did them all right. Dumb ass didn't even read the directions, hence _this_ disastrous result."

"Which is exactly what you pay _me_ for," Briana reminded him. "Jesus, Brian, this is going to be a mess to straighten up. And you're on the card tonight. Good God, what were you thinking?"

"It was midnight," he protested. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"I just hope you aren't going to say you two were on the wacky tobacky while this was going on."

"I wasn't," Brian shook his head. "Looking back, I'm not too sure about Paul, though."

Briana sighed, going through some of her supplies. "All right, get your ass in that chair. If we're going to straighten this out in time for your match tonight, I need to get to work."

"Thanks, baby. I owe you big time for this."

"You certainly do. No more calling your best friend for coloring jobs or next time I'm leaving you this way."

_Later:_

"He did what?" Tina asked when she and Briana spoke.

"You won't believe it unless you saw it for yourself, Tina," Briana replied, explaining the whole situation of Brian's bad dye job that she had managed to work out into a flattering dark blond.

"What possessed him to let _Paul_ do that?"

"Supposedly he didn't want to wake me up at midnight. I have no idea why it couldn't wait until today since I had to straighten out Paul's disaster of handiwork anyway. You and I have seen some crazy botched jobs, Tina, but this one was the frosting on the cake. One would have thought he'd learned from the botched haircut Paul gave him last year long before I came into the picture."

"I think it's time to keep his buddy away from his hair."

"Exactly my sentiment," Briana agreed.

"And where is the victim right now?"

"Primping," Briana laughed. "I think he is more anal retentive about his hair than most of the divas."

"Don't know why," Tina said. "It's just going to get messed up in the ring."

"I know! He is just so silly about things sometimes."

She then glanced over. "Here he comes. I have to go. I'll check in with you next week."

"Right," Tina said. "Hopefully you won't have any more hair disaster stories, courtesy of Paul."

"Oh I will totally make sure of that," Briana replied firmly before ending the call and heading toward Brian to admire her handiwork.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

What a great time for her cousin to show up.

It wasn't lost on Briana on how most of the other guys had checked out Nadine when she walked through the halls the first day. One thing her cousin never had a problem doing was attracting the attention of men. And Briana had been on guard that first day, convinced that Nadine's next target would be Brian.

_Like hell she will_, Briana thought. _I will snap that whore's neck in two if she even as much as **looks **at him in a way I don't like. Good old Nadine is going to find out the hard way I'm not the shy little girl who hides in the corner anymore._

Nadine had been gone for years; Briana hadn't even seen her since her wedding with Gary and then his funeral, and now all of the sudden the woman was back in the picture wanting to be buddy-buddy, as if they have been close all of their lives.

"I know what you're thinking, Bree," Nadine said a few days later. "You still think I'm some home wrecking, gold digging slut. I'm not that girl anymore. I've grown up, gotten my own career, and the only thing I want to think about is working on my new life. I know a long time ago you thought I was out to take Gary from you, but that wasn't the case then and it isn't the case to take your fiance now."

"So why are you here?" Briana asked, a touch of suspicion in her voice.

"I want to make amends. Bree, I was…am….a recovering cocaine addict," Nadine sighed. "As part of my recovery, I have to make amends with all the people I've wronged in my life. I know I've put you through hell, made you feel like shit, especially knowing how much you wanted to get into cheerleading back in eighth grade. I ruined that for you too."

"I figured that out a long time ago," Briana nodded. "But you know what? Weird as it sounds now, you actually did me a favor."

Nadine brightened. "Really?"

"Yeah," Briana nodded, now convinced her cousin _had _changed. "It turned out I was better suited for volleyball and Future Cosmetologists, and then years later I met Gary."

"Um, about that, I'm sorry for hitting on him so much too."

"Not that he was interested anyway," Briana said with a slight smile.

"I rather picked that up eventually. I kind of flirted just because I could. Pretty warped, huh?"

"To say the least."

"But this guy you're going to marry; Jesus, Bree, he could almost pass for Gary's twin. How did you hook up with him?"

Briana filled Nadine on the details of the fateful first day in Tina's shop and some of the events from there, up to their recent engagement. She grinned, showing her cousin a pile of blond hair in a dust pan. "I even talked him into finally cutting off about three inches," she added. "He was starting to look like a caveman and had more splits than a Vegas divorce court."

Nadine studied the contents, amazed. "You mean that's…." she began.

Briana nodded. "Every little scrap."

"Good lord girl, and you're tossing it out? You need to bag that up and sell it on Ebay. You could make a mint."

"I don't think Brian would relish the idea of having his own hair auctioned to random strangers," Briana laughed.

"Briana!" a male voice yelled right outside. "Have you seen any of my razors? I need to shave before tonight."

"Speak of the devil," she nodded to Nadine. "Excuse me."

Nadine smiled back and heard Briana right outside. "For the love of God, Brian, you are so disorganized sometimes. They're in your black bag; if they were a snake, they would bite you. While I have you here, I want you to meet someone anyway."

"Do I have to? I kind of look like shit."

"You're fine and I won't think my cousin will care."

"Your cousin? I thought you didn't have any family around since Gary died."

"Neither did I; I hadn't seen her since his funeral, in fact. We weren't that close, but things are changing in that respect. Now get your ass in here and meet her."

Briana practically dragged him into the room where Nadine was and made prompt introductions. The two shook hands and chatted briefly and though Nadine eyed and nodded approvingly, there seemed to be little to no interest on Brian's part as far as Nadine's tall, striking beauty was concerned.

"Nice girl," he told Briana later, "but it wouldn't kill her to eat a few cheeseburgers."

Briana broke out laughing. _Oh, he's getting more like Gary every day, _she thought, totally reassured.

"Hey, I got an idea," Brian said, breaking her thought.

"Try me," Briana smiled.

"Well, you know I already asked Paul to stand up for us at the wedding. Here's the shocker; dude doesn't have a date."

"Wait. Your own best friend, Mr. Excitement, The Intrepid Traveler, who supposedly has women falling all over him, _doesn't have a date?" _Briana couldn't believe her ears.

"You got it. Anyhoo, Nadine is right up his alley. Skinny ass, big tits, friendly. He'll dig her. Hell, she might even like Paul's goofy ass. What do you think?"

"I think it's worth a shot. She doesn't really know anyone here but me and she just met you, so it may work."

"I'll give him a call after I shave. I'll send a picture too."

"Picture?"

"Yeah, I got one on the sly with my phone before she left the room."

"You are one sneaky little man," Briana laughed.

"Be a good girl and I'll show you how sneaky I can really be later on tonight." Brian wiggled his eyebrows.

"Go get ready for your match," she laughed again. "I don't think Carlito wants to be kept waiting."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"I cannot believe you two would do something like that," Briana scolded the next night. "I swear sometimes, you can be dressed but not taken out."

"What?" Brian asked. "It wasn't like we got into any fights with the other drunks."

"Brian, you and Paul not only made asses of yourselves, but you got Nadine and me thrown out of the _bowling alley _along with you idiots and we weren't even doing anything. I should have known better to take your suggestion to go there for an 'intimate' engagement party. Good God."

"I thought Paul imitating my dance down one of the alleys was pretty cool."

"Not with wearing absolutely nothing but his boxers while you're doing a strip tease on a table!"

"You wouldn't want to see him in a Speedo." Brian could barely contain himself from laughing.

"I'm glad you find this amusing. Be glad Nadine is driving because the last thing we need on top of all of this is one of you weirdos getting pulled over for driving drunk."

"Hey, we're weird, not stupid."

"Sometimes I have to wonder. I think from now on I'm separating you two."

"Aw come on, Bree, who's going to take Nadine out on the town then? She and Paul hit it off. She even helped put his clothes back on."

"Oh yes, perfect bliss. Please remind me why I'm marrying you again?"

"Because I'm so charming and exciting, you can't resist me," Brian said with a mischievous grin as they got to the car.

"And I work for you," Briana added. "In any case, I'm trapped," she added teasingly.

"That was fun," Paul said with a lopsided grin. "At least until the dumb shits made us leave. Guess they were concerned the customers would be scared off after seeing shorty back here half naked."

"More like the fear of possibly seeing your dick," Brian retorted, "or should I say lack of one?"

"Do they always go back and forth like that?" Nadine asked.

"Oh you don't even know half of it," Briana nodded. "Today was mild compared to some days."

"Bree loves us," Paul said. "It's never a dull moment. Don't ask what she's thinking about settling for Spanky when she can have all this." He gestured all over himself.

"Fuck you, Paul. And I told you about calling me Spanky. Besides, you know what they say about short men."

"Okay, guys? It's bad enough you two had us evicted from the bowling alley, but I would appreciate my dinner not making a reappearance," Briana spoke up.

"Seriously," Nadine agreed. "And what was that noise and is that God awful smell?"

Paul began to laugh drunkenly while the women rushed to put down the windows.

"Fucking hell, Paul!" Brian yelled, pulling his T-shirt collar over his nose. "Dude, you need to cut back on the burgers and beer."

"Like your silent ones never stink, short ribs."

"Not like _that! _Jesus Christ, you could kill an army! Your gas is annoying me, man."

Briana sighed, her head partially out the window. "One thing about it, this is indeed an engagement dinner I would never forget, just as you promised, dear."

"Don't worry," Brian said, his shirt still over his nose. "I'll find a way to make it up to you, preferably without the walking weapon of mass destruction here. Right now, let's just concentrate on getting us all back home alive."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"Have you thought about it?" Nadine asked that night after the guys had gone downstairs to Paul's to watch a movie.

"Thought about what?" Briana looked at her cousin curiously.

"Well, with you getting married again, having kids. Have you guys talked about it?"

"Bri's talked about it here and there casually, but as for an actual discussion between us, no not yet. To be honest, I didn't have much success with that with my first marriage."

"Maybe Gary was the problem?" Nadine suggested. "I'm not meaning to speak ill of the dead, but–"

"No," Briana shook her head. "Gary had thought of that and got tested. He was perfectly fine. Apparently all was normal with me too, according to my doctor back home at the time. Maybe some things just weren't meant to be."

"Well, maybe you'll get lucky this time around."

"Perhaps, but nevertheless, I'm going to get an exam with a new doctor before our wedding. I haven't really had a good checkup since Gary died anyway."

Nadine looked at her, wide-eyed. "You let things go _that long?"_

"I figured it didn't really matter at the time anyway. Plus I got busy with work and other things and thought nothing of it."

"You really should get a checkup at least once a year," Nadine pointed out.

"I already set up an appointment," Briana smiled. "On Thursday, in fact."

"Good, keep it that way every year from now on, especially since you're going to have a husband in your life again, and should luck have it, some lovely youngsters."

_Meanwhile:_

"This is some good bud, dude," Paul laughed, "but don't you think Bree will have your ass in a sling if she smells it on you when you go home?"

"Which is why I opened your fucking window and sat next to it, and have gum and Visine," Brian grinned. "I'm probably not going to get laid tonight as it is; I don't need to make things worse by smelling like weed. Anyway, what did you think of Nadine?"

"Hot as hell."

"Yeah, figured she'd be right up your alley. She'll be at the wedding so you'll be spending lots of time together."

"Wooo!" Paul cheered.

"Dude, that doesn't mean making out behind the bushes like you were with some bimbo after the Hallof Fame last year."

"I think Nadine has a little more class than that. So are you and Bree still going with the judge thing in the gazebo out front?"

"Yeah. You're still barbecuing, right?"

"Wouldn't miss the opportunity for the world, my man."

"Just take it easy with some of that Mexican spicy bullshit," Brian warned. "I'm not going to have fifty people puking their guts out with flames coming out of their asses. We're in America; this isn't your ancestors' country, holmes."

"Have your ma bring some of that kick ass chicken alfredo with broccoli and you got yourself a deal," Paul grinned.

"I'll give her a call Thursday while Bree is at the doctor."

"Wait, doctor? Something wrong?"

"Nah, some routine thing with the gyn. Guess she thinks she has to make sure everything is in working order before she gets married."

Paul made a face. "Oh. Ewwww. Let me guess, you're going for a pre-nup prostate exam?"

"Very funny, dude. Anyway, she's going with Nadine to find a dress after that, so my whole day will be pretty well open."

"Cool. Want to shoot some hoops after you talk to your ma then?"

"Sounds good to me, considering you'll whip my ass again anyway."

"Who knows, maybe you and Bree will get lucky and have a tall kid," Paul chuckled.

"More like a legacy of funny-looking, short things."

"So have you discussed this kid thing with the little lady yet? I mean, considering your own childhood and shit, I wasn't even sure where you stood on that."

"To be honest, Paul, she and her first husband didn't have any, so I'm not even sure if Bree wants kids this late in her life or not. In any case, if it happens, I can guaran-damn-tee I'll be a far better dad and give them a better life than I had."

"Oh, no doubt there. The old man spoils while Mom hands down the punishments. I can vision it now."

Brian laughed. "Yep. You know me far too well, dude."

Paul took a swing of beer and belched loudly. "I certainly do."

"Jesus, man, if I were you, I'd keep the bodily functions under control or your prospects will dry up."

"Been hanging around you too long. Anyway, let's finish this movie. I didn't rent this kick ass porn flick just to bullshit all the way through it."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"I found this awesome vintage shop while I was walking around during the time you were with the doctor," Nadine chattered Thursday afternoon. "They have this dress that would be great on you for your wedding."

"Are you sure it's even my size?" Briana laughed. "Besides, I need to stop at the pharmacy first and get this filled."

"Get what filled?" Nadine gave her cousin a concerned look.

Briana pulled the prescription from her purse Dr. Edwards had given her after the exam and the long discussion that had followed.

"Good God, Bree, are these what I think they are?"

Briana nodded. "Let's hope it works. I'm not big on chemical solutions; just taking an aspirin is a pain in the ass, something left over from my days of natural living with Gary. And you know how I feel about Brian and the whole pot thing."

"Certainly," Nadine agreed, handing back the prescription. "Does he know why you went to the doctor today?"

Briana shook her head. "As far as he knows it's just a routine checkup before the wedding and I was going to hunt for a dress with you afterward."

Nadine grinned. "By the way, after I show you the dress at the vintage shop, the shoe place down from there is having a sale."

"Is there anywhere you _didn't_ check out?" Briana asked, laughing again.

"The cook in the pizza parlor is kind of cute too." Nadine gave another wide grin.

"I'm sure, but just remember you already have a date for the wedding."

"Oh yes, how can I forget the tall, dark and handsome one that dances in his underwear down a bowling lane and whispers sexy things in Spanish? Never mind I didn't understand a damn thing he was saying."

"In Paul's case, sometimes you're better off _not _knowing," Briana joked.

"Is it true he's doing the barbecue after the ceremony?"

"Yes, though he's been warned to take it easy with the spices. You know those Hispanics and their hot food. He about killed poor Brian one time putting Cajun spices in Bri's macaroni as a practical joke."

"Ugh. I'm getting heartburn just thinking about it. Speaking of which, where do you want to go for lunch after we hit the shoe store?"

"Doesn't matter, as long as it isn't Taco Bell," Briana laughed as they went into the pharmacy.

_Meanwhile:_

Paul howled with laughter, pointing at Brian as he came out of the fitting room.

"Dude, I thought doing this instead of basketball was going to be boring as hell, but I got to admit this was better after all!" He laughed harder. "You look like a kid dressed in his dad's clothes!"

"I'm glad my agony is your amusement," Brian glared at him. "I will admit, though, this thing isn't working. Make yourself fucking useful and grab a couple more things off that rack, will you?"

Paul nodded, still snickering as he picked off a couple more suits. "Try the brown one first," he suggested.

"Oh, are you Mr. Blackwell now?" Brian sniffed, going back into the fitting room.

"Just a suggestion. Brown's supposed to be the color now."

"That was _last_ year, fuck-o. But since you're so insistent, I'll try it on."

A few minutes later, he came back out, glaring at Paul once again. "Jesus Christ, I look like a giant turd in this thing. No way am I getting this. Ugh."

"Not sure about giant, but I'll go along with the turd theory," Paul agreed, laughing again.

"Just quit being an asshole and hand me something else. If we're going to get court time and a game in before the girls get home, you need to quit goofing off."

"Okay, okay; such a demanding little shit," Paul sighed, staring at another rack. "Oh wow, I think I may see something good!" He excitedly pulled a suit off a display.

"Oh, this should be a barrel of laughs," Brian groaned. "I swear to Christ, Paul, if you give me another crappy thing, I will come out there and fucking kill you where you stand. I should have saved the headache and brought my sister instead."

"No, man, you'll dig this one." Paul handed it over the door. "It's like the one Jericho wore the other night for one of his promos. That thing was sharp as hell. I've been wanting to get one like it. Check it out and see what you think."

"If it shuts you up, why not?"

"Put it on and let me see," Paul insisted.

A few minutes went by. "All righty. Ready?"

"Anytime you are, man."

Brian came out, a huge grin on his face. "If I didn't know better, I think you were on to something here, holmes."

"Dude!" Paul approved. "That is so the one! It's all Bree's going to do to keep from raping your ass when she sees you in it. And not that I'm gay or anything, but your ass is working those pants just right."

Brian looked at the tag. "And it isn't even going to set me back a king's ransom." He patted his best friend's shoulder. "Good work, Pedro."

"What would you do without me?" Paul gave a goofy grin.

"You can stop looking at my ass, for starters. Let's go pay for this thing and take it to altering. Then we can get some basketball in."

_A short time later:_

Briana emerged from the changing room wearing an ankle length ivory satin and lace dress. It had fit her perfectly, just as Nadine had predicted.

"What do you think?" she asked

"I think once Brian spies you he'll want to skip the ceremony and go straight to the molesting," Nadine teased. "Really, though, you look gorgeous."

"You know, I think you have an eye for something like this. Did you ever think about going into business?"

"With what, my looks? Bree, that only gets me dates."

"There's lots of good organizations that help women get into business. You know, I was even thinking of doing my own salon someday. I could use some of my investment money to get you started."

"Oh really, Bree, I couldn't–" Nadine began to protest.

"Think of it as an investment," Briana smiled. "Now, let's get this dress and you can go help me pick out shoes. I may also need a second opinion on flowers too. And once we get home, we can discuss your new adventure further."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Nadine and Briana had been settled in at home for about two hours before the guys had come home from their game (and suit shopping for Brian), both sweaty and hungry. The time frame beforehand had been enough for Briana to hide her dress and pills.

"Don't worry about dinner," Brian announced after he and Paul arrived. "I ordered pizza on the way home. I figured we could all use a break, especially since I spent the last part of the afternoon getting clobbered by a Mexican."

"Works for me," Briana nodded, smiling.

"I will also have you know I have found a suit today. You can thank Senor Pedro here for his input on that matter."

Paul gave a cheesy grin, obviously proud of himself.

"Oh this should be good, considering I've seen 'Senor Pedro's' personal wardrobe choices," Briana replied.

"Aw, come on, Bree, cut me a break. I can do pretty good sometimes," Paul whined.

"He did for once," Brian said, dragging out a garment bag, and then paused. "Is it bad luck for me to show you before the wedding?"

"No, that's the bride," Nadine assured him. "Which is why you can't see Briana's dress yet."

"That's two fucking weeks yet," Paul complained. "No fair."

"Uh, dude? May I remind you that _I'm_ the one getting married, therefore, I should be the one deciding what's fair," Brian spoke up, unzipping the bag. "Okay, ladies, what do you think?"

"Are you sure Paul picked this out?" Briana asked, clearly impressed.

"Yeah, pretty good for a dumb ass that usually needs instructions to dress _himself, _huh?" Brian said proudly.

"And you thought we Mexicans only knew about lawn care," Paul quipped. "Okay, the sales guy picked out the shirt and tie, but the suit was all me and El Midgeto there."

"You still did great," Nadine smiled.

"So you like it, baby?" Brian nuzzled Briana's neck. "Or perhaps the guy that will be in it?"

"I'd like the guy better if he went and took a shower. You smell like a sweaty horse."

"Why not join me? Saves water."

"Brian, we have company."

"Jesus, dude, I'd hate to envision your wedding night," Paul said. "Most guys think about sex every eight minutes. Brian thinks about it every two point two _seconds."_

"As if you don't, Porno King," Brian countered.

"Yeah, I've heard some of Paul's 'movie nights' are totally legend," Briana said knowingly.

"Did you know his job in high school was porn dealer?" Brian grinned.

"Dude!" Paul cried.

"Why am I not shocked?" Briana laughed. Nadine nodded in agreement, chuckling herself.

"Your husband to be over there isn't so innocent himself," Paul countered. "When he was a senior in high school, he and his buddy made a dirty movie with claymation farm animals and the farmer. Dude got suspended for a week and the teacher was so traumatized they ended up quitting. And don't get me started how his sister discovered him jacking off when he was fourteen."

"Stop right there!" Brian yelled. "Dude, you better be on your way back down to pick up dinner after you've cleaned up at your place by the time I'm out of the shower, or I'm whooping your ass."

"And I was just starting to enjoy myself," Paul laughed. "Want me to get a movie too?"

"No, I have a couple here. We have ladies present tonight, in case you hadn't noticed." Brian then pulled some clean towels out of a closet. "I'll be back out in about twenty."

"Have fun, shorty," Paul grinned, yanking down Brian's shorts, revealing his bare behind.

"Paul, you fucker! I ought to kill you right now!"

"You can't; you're half naked," Paul howled. "Nice ass, by the way, bubble butt."

Brian yanked his shorts up and then threw his sweaty shirt at Paul. "Go get the damn food." He then stomped toward the bathroom. "Asshole," he muttered to himself.

_A short time later:_

Instructed to pick out a movie from the DVD collection on the back wall, Briana and Nadine pored through the various titles.

"_The Notebook? _Wow, I knew Bri was the sensitive type, but this drives it home," Nadine smiled.

"Don't say anything, but he cries during it too," Briana giggled. "Honestly, who falls for that 'I have something in my eye' line anymore?"

"Yeah, that dates back when we were in junior high," Nadine agreed before knitting her eyebrows at another title.

"What?" Briana asked.

"I don't think I've ever heard of a film called _Plow My Ass." _Nadine studied the cover. "It's uh….interesting, to say the least. He wouldn't by any chance forgot to give something back to Paul, would he?"

"Give me that," Briana answered, now curious, reading the DVD. "Oh for God's sake. I forgot to warn you my fiance has a weird sense of humor."

"I figured that already, but what does that have to do with having a gay porno film among his regular DVD's?" Nadine wondered.

"He watches them for laughs; it's one of Brian's favorite ways of tormenting and nauseating Paul. Then again, only Brian would keep his porn stash proudly among his regular movie collection."

"He is one eccentric little character," Nadine chuckled. "Oh look, all the _Pirates of the Caribbean _titles."

"Bri has a pirate fixation too," Briana explained.

"Well, I guess we have our movie for tonight if it's okay with you," Nadine replied. "There's a couple of these I haven't seen."

"Of course," Briana nodded. "Certainly beats _Plow My Ass_, doesn't it? Unless you want to see Paul turn six shades of green and whine like a little girl."

"I think the pirate movie is the better option."

"Me too."

Brian made an appearance, now cleaned up. "Find anything you two liked?" he asked.

"Another installment of_ Pirates of the Caribbean_," Briana smiled, holding up the selected DVD.

"Ah, ladies after my own heart. Good choice." He opened a soda, taking a healthy swig.

"Interesting adult film collection, by the way," Nadine deadpanned.

Brian spit out some soda and coughed "What the hell? You went through my _porn?"_

"Accident, I swear," Nadine spoke up.

"It was mixed in with your movies, as you know," Briana said, "not exactly the place to keep it well hidden. We really need to discuss the issue of that stash sometime, especially if there is a chance of having children one of these days."

"Uh, yeah, sure…."

Paul waltzed in the door with the pizza order. "_La cena ha llegado," _he announced.

"English, holmes," Brian said. "We're in America, remember?"

"Dinner is here. Hey, you should have seen the counter girl down there tonight. Smoking hot with some big, perky–"

"Paul," Brian cut in. "Ladies present. And you have a date for the wedding anyway."

"Jesus, you're getting to be a boring old fart. So what's the movie tonight?"

Nadine grinned, informing him.

"Fucking hell, not that again."

"Nadine hasn't seen it yet," Brian said, "and neither has Bree. It's ladies' choice tonight, whether you like it or not. Now let's eat and have a nice quiet evening."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

_Two weeks later:_

"Brian, for the love of God, put some pants on," Briana sighed that morning as his stared into the refrigerator clad only in his underwear.

"Why?" Brian asked. "I'm going to have to change later anyway. No use making extra dirty clothes." He then nuzzled her neck. "You didn't complain last night."

"Brian, really, your mother is here. Can you act like you weren't raised by wolves for once?"

"She's seen me in a lot less than this. Come on; she changed my shitty diapers."

Briana shook her head. "Nadine's on her way over. At least put something on to be decent."

"Fine, I'll grab your robe," Brian grumbled. "Geez, not even married yet, and you've already gotten the nagging part down."

"We have a long day ahead of us, so quit whining. Now remember, we have the gazebo reserved for three, Paul's going to fire everything up for dinner at four thirty, and the other catering people should be coming before then to set things up. By the way, Jeff and Zeke volunteered to come over early and help Paul set up the chairs."

"Jesus Christ, it's only fifty people; it isn't a royal wedding."

"People still need a place to sit and they eventually get hungry," Briana pointed out with a grin. "Now do you think you can keep your mom entertained while I go have my hair done?"

"Don't know why; I plan on messing it up tonight." Brian wiggled his eyebrows.

"Dirty old man," she laughed. "Just tell your mother when she gets up there's plenty of things for breakfast, anything she wants, so help herself."

"I'll do better than that. She can cook one of her award-winning ones."

"Don't you dare make that poor woman do any work. She's our guest this weekend."

"Maybe you better," Paul said, walking in casually. "You don't want your husband to be near anything involving fire or heat." He grinned at Brian. "Nice robe, dude. Pale pink is your color. The little tulips are a good touch too."

"Fuck you," Brian scoffed. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Why? I've been busting my ass out there all morning while you're in here in your frilly robe. And I still have to go home later to get cleaned up and changed."

"It's mine and Bree's wedding and I hired you as my slave for the day. Quit complaining. It's not like you have a heavy schedule anyway."

"Well, let's see. Set up the gazebo, get the grill cleaned and ready, set up a shit load of chairs and wait for the flower people to place that shit around. I probably had half a day's work done before you rolled your ass out of bed. By the way, Jeff called. He and Zeke will be here in about twenty minutes."

"The three of you working should be a blast."

"Could be an even four if you put some pants on and join the party," Paul said.

"I bust ass 300 days a year," Brian replied. "I'm not doing shit on my own wedding day."

"Paul, take a break," Briana suggested. "There's coffee in the kitchen. I was just on my way out."

"Thanks, don't mind if I do. Where are you headed already?"

"To Tina's hotel to have my hair done for the big day," she smiled. "Don't you two do anything I wouldn't do while I'm gone."

_Later:_

"Now for your hair," Tina announced, working with Briana's brunette locks once her makeup had been finished. "I was thinking of pulling it up a bit. Something different for you."

"Sounds like a plan," Briana nodded and smiled. "I'm really glad you could make it."

"You kidding? I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

"Better put some industrial strength spray on that, Tina," Nadine teased. "I have a feeling Bree there may be in for a wild wedding night."

"Nadine!" Briana began to laugh, blushing a little.

"Hey, I'm just saying," Nadine laughed back.

"I better put some on you too," Tina said with a wink. "From what Bree here has told me about Paul following you around like a dog in heat, you may in for an interesting night yourself."

"And people think _Brian_ is frisky," Briana added, joining in on the fun.

"I will have you know he's been a total gentleman the whole time," Nadine replied.

Briana looked a little shocked. "Are we talking about the same Paul here? He usually pounces on anything that breathes."

"Maybe Nadine has a spell on him," Tina said. "All right, love, let's get your headpiece on."

Nadine stepped up and helped Tina with the crown of ivory roses and baby's breath and together they adjusted it until it was perfect.

"Go look!" Nadine encouraged Briana.

"Wow," she said breathlessly. "This is incredible. Guys, thanks so much."

"You look just as beautiful as you did at your first wedding," Tina smiled.

"Only considerably older," Briana nodded, smiling at both of them. "But today, I'm not having any complaints."

"Neither will your groom," Tina answered. "Now let me finish up Nadine and we can get you back to him as soon as possible. You have a big date today, after all."

_Meanwhile:_

"Ow, fuck, what are you trying to do, man, kill me?" Brian howled. "I don't recall saying I wanted to be bald for my wedding. Jesus!"

"Dude, you said you wanted your hair pulled back," Jeff said.

"Pulled back, not _out, _dumb ass."

"Try sitting still for more than thirty seconds and he may get done sooner," Paul suggested.

"This coming from the asshole who turned my hair three different colors not long ago because he didn't read the directions," Brian scoffed. "Shouldn't you be working on something?"

"Zeke's finishing the chairs and the grill's ready to go," Paul replied. "Right now while you're getting gorgeous, I'm going downstairs to take a shower. It won't take me as long to get beautiful."

"Oh thank God you're using your own shower. It was bad enough you scared the hell out of Ma earlier when she went in our bathroom while you were pissing."

"Wait, what?" Jeff asked, pausing what he was doing.

"Dipshit here didn't close the door and Ma went to take a shower to get ready," Brian explained. "Next thing I heard was this blood curdling scream. I'm surprised she didn't realize someone was in there earlier; usually a person can hear Paul pissing all the way to China."

"Your poor ma," Jeff answered sympathetically. "She's probably scarred for life."

"Either that or she's going to have some nice visions," Paul grinned. "She is pretty hot for her age, by the way."

"Dude, that's my mother!" Brian yelled.

"Seriously, man, you're gross," Jeff agreed. "All right," he added, pleased with his finished work. "See if that passes inspection."

Brian looked in a hall mirror and smiled widely. "Looking good, dude." He gave Jeff a high five in appreciation.

"Thanks. Now I need to go get my suit on while Paul over there is washing his ass and then we can all go downstairs. By then, the girls should be back in time for the festivities."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The day was perfect. The sky was a beautiful without a cloud and the sun shone brightly. It was neither too hot nor too cold. Paul could barely keep from snickering as the couple exchanged vows and Nadine gave him a quizzical look and Brian's mother and Tina beamed proudly.

They had written their own vows and read them off without a hitch before rings were exchanged. Wolf whistles then followed as Brian kissed his new bride.

"What, you all jealous a short guy captured such a prize?" he asked teasingly.

After the ceremony, everyone made a beeline for the picnic tables that had been set up as Paul buzzed upstairs to change as the grills fired up, returning a short time later donned in casual clothes under an apron that read _Bese a cocinero _("Kiss the Cook") and also sporting a wide sombrero.

"Jesus Christ," Brian groaned, removing his jacket and tie after pictures had been taken, rolling up his sleeves. "I should have known El Senor over there couldn't make the effort to try and be normal for a whole day."

"When is Paul _ever _normal?" Briana smiled, carefully taking off her headpiece. "I don't think he knows the meaning of the word."

"Everyone's having a blast," she added, posing with her husband and friends as the smell of barbecue filled the area and Paul sang loudly and happily in Spanish, making sure his masterpieces were grilling nicely before clinking his water glass, bringing everyone's attention to himself.

"Anything to stop that singing," Tina sighed.

"The Head Mexican would like to make a toast," he said clearing his throat. "You know, sometimes I like bagging on the groom over here."

"Shit," Brian laughed. "I'm your favorite victim 99 percent of the time, Pedro. But go on; how many guys get toasted by an idiot in a sombrero at their own wedding?"

Everyone laughed at that comment and Paul grinned.

"In all seriousness, however, Briana couldn't have gotten herself a better catch. Congratulations, guys. I wish you many years of happiness together, spending Brian's money, and lots of kids that hopefully look like their mother. Food will be ready in ten."

Everyone laughed again and applauded before going back to what they were doing.

"This is going to be one interesting reception indeed," Tina chuckled to Nadine.

When dinner was finally served, they all dove in, including Briana. Everything was delicious and she praised Paul immensely for his hard work, thinking nothing of Brian being served separately from the rest of them.

Paul tipped the sombrero in response, grinning.

"Sit down," Briana added. "You've done enough work for one day. The caterers can take it from here."

"Uh, thanks, but for some reason I better stand a little while longer."

Within minutes, Brian began to cough and spit something into a napkin, glaring toward Paul. "You stupid fucking beaner! I told you to keep your hot tamale hot sauce shit out of my food!" he bellowed, getting up.

Paul began to laugh, taking off as Brian chased after him, cursing.

Briana shook her head, looking on. "Even at our own wedding, it never ends with those two."

_Later:_

When everyone was finished eating they all made their way to the makeshift dance area to burn off some calories. The first song was of course the bride and groom's dance.

Briana threw her bouquet, which Nadine caught, followed by Brian removing Brian's garter, which didn't go without teasing comments, whistles and catcalls.

In the process, Brian, now fueled by Pepto Bismol from Paul's earlier practical joke, flipped off a few of his friends laughingly before Matt was the lucky recipient of the garter toss.

Afterward, the DJ broke out a mix of modern dance music and everyone settled down to boogie the night away.

Soon it came time to cut the cake. The cake was wheeled into the area before they took the knife and together cut the first piece of cake. They fed each other the cake and posed for more pictures, Paul yelling for Briana to smash some into Brian's face, which they did to each other before throwing some on Paul, much to everyone's amusement.

Before they knew it, the night was over way too soon, and the couple made their way to the limousine to head off to Italy for their honeymoon for a week. Bird seed had been tossed their way as they beat a path to the car, everyone shouting goodbye and best wishes. Their new life had just begun.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

The week after the new couple returned from their honeymoon, they hadn't had much time to spend together outside of work; another overseas tour was on the horizon and everyone was rushing around making preparations.

Meanwhile, Paul was also struggling, having to cancel several bookings of his own, causing Briana some concern, especially once it became known it was a health issue.

"Paul, really, you should get your back problem checked out," she said with a touch of compassion. "If it's something interfering with your work, it has to be serious."

"Don't worry about it," he said, brushing off Briana a little. "I've dealt with a lot worse and came back okay."

"Bri and I are worried about you," she pressed, wondering why her husband's best friend was being so stubborn.

"Don't, Bree. Nothing a few chiropractic adjustments and a mild painkiller won't handle."

Briana sighed. "All right, but you really should get a check up just in case."

"Hey, I thought you were _Brian's_ wife," Paul joked. "Aren't you supposed to be nagging him?"

"Of course, but it doesn't mean I can't be concerned about you too, silly," Briana smiled, tussling his hair a little.

"Watch the hair!" he laughed, giving her a light, playful smack, causing Briana to giggle.

"Dude, hands off; that woman's mine," Brian said, coming in with a mug of coffee. "Get your own."

"She messed up my hair," Paul replied, defending himself.

"Serves you right, pervert," Brian teased. "Hey, Bree, what kind of coffee is this?"

"It's the Dunkin Donuts brand they've been hawking on TV. I had a coupon for a dollar off after I got a free sample in the mail. You like it?"

"It kicks ass, baby; I think you may be on to something. Yo, Paul, you should get off your fat ass and try some of this."

"Put some cinnamon, sugar, and chocolate in it and I just may."

"Jesus, you know how to ruin perfectly good coffee, don't you? Go get your own shit; your legs aren't broken."

"While you two boys are killing each other, I'll be in the back getting some things done to leave this weekend," Briana announced before taking her leave.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Brian joked with a cheesy grin.

"Right, how much trouble can I get into packing your underwear?" Briana joked back, making Paul laugh out loud.

"Guess she owned you, man," he said between guffaws.

"That's all right; she's never been to Australia," Brian said with a bright smile. "This will be a treat for her, even if it is a working trip."

"Going to be cold as fuck, though," Paul replied. "Isn't it like fall or the beginning of winter over there?"

"Yeah, that's the only drawback. Still, I'll try to make it nice for Bree anyway."

"So how the big honeymoon in Italy? Get in lots of sex?"

Brian poked Paul in the temple lightly. "Dude, seriously, you need to start thinking with the right head, and you have the balls to talk about _me? _We did a lot more than that. It was a great trip. I got some good pictures. Want to see them?"

"Hell yeah. Bree didn't bankrupt you over there, did she?"

"No, actually, she was kind of a cheap date," Brian replied as Paul went through the pictures "One thing about Bree, she isn't a big spender, and when she is, it's usually _her own _money."

"Jesus, that's a pleasant change. Most chicks are usually after big dicks and bigger bank accounts. Someone broke the mold when they made her, huh?"

"You aren't kidding," Brian agreed. "Hey, think you can hold down the fort for a few minutes? I think the coffee is making a reappearance via my bladder."

"TMI, shorty, but yeah."

"Thanks, be right back. Enjoy the honeymoon pictures."

_A few minutes later:_

Brian made his way to the bathroom hurriedly, the urge to pee increasing with every step. He had noticed the door was ajar and presumed as always that the bathroom was empty and Briana had still been busy packing for the tour.

But when he looked in just in time before pushing the door open all the way, he spotted his bride at the bathroom sink with a glass of water, popping what appeared to be a tiny pill from a packet.

_What the hell? _Brian thought. _Was that what he thought it was?_

His bladder issue forgotten for a moment, he ducked into a corner, a bit mortified, as Briana came out of the bathroom and went back to the task she had been performing before remembering she had forgotten to take her pill that morning.

Once she had been out of sight, Brian made his way into the bathroom, finished his own business and went back to Paul, not saying a word about what he'd just witnessed a few minutes before.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"Earth to short guy," Paul said.

Brian snapped out of his thoughts. "Huhhh?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Ever since you came back from the john, you've been in la-la land. Did you have a bad jacking off session or something?"

"Not the time to be funny, Paul. No, it's…something else on my mind."

"You were okay a little while ago."

"Yeah. Listen, if I tell you, can you promise to keep your mouth shut and not blab this stuff to anyone? And I mean _any_one."

"Jesus, this must be some serious shit. Sure, okay. What's going on?"

Brian relayed what he'd seen Briana doing in the bathroom earlier.

"Damn, are you trying to say…." Paul began.

"I don't think Bree wants kids. Why else would she be taking a pill out of a little case? There's only one kind of those that come that way."

"Maybe she just doesn't want to get knocked up right away. Come on, man, you just got married. What's the rush?"

"She was married the first time for twelve years and didn't have kids then either."

"Dude, come on. Maybe her first old man was cut because he didn't want any, ever think of that? And one would think if _she_ didn't want kids down the road, I don't think Bree would waste time on bullshit pills; she'd be getting 'fixed' herself, to say the least."

"Most women don't get 'fixed', as you eloquently put it," Brian answered. "It's too expensive to get done and there's no guarantees if they want it reversed. Still, I don't believe this shit. Why didn't she say something? I thought she liked kids."

"Of course Bree does. It doesn't mean she has to get a bun in the oven once you had a ring on her finger. Jesus."

Brian shot him a look. "Neither of us are getting any younger."

"You're barely thirty. Most guys don't have kids these days until they're about forty or so. It isn't an unpardonable sin to wait."

"Easy for you to say. You're still single. Then again, who would put up with your goofy ass for more than two minutes?"

"You," Paul grinned.

"Sometimes I don't have a choice. Did you call that orthopedist Kurt told me about to refer you to about your back?"

"You expect me to go clear to fucking Pittsburgh to see some jackass on the word of some TNA yahoo when there's plenty of doctors here?"

"That 'jackass' you're putting down is supposed to be one of the best in the country. Look what he did for a lot of guys, and that 'TNA yahoo' is an Olympic gold medalist and a former champion that worked for _my _company at one time, for God's sake. Honestly, Paul, Bree's right; you really need to get that shit checked out."

"How about I see my doctor first and then look into this guy? Will it shut you two up?"

"It's not about shutting us up, PL. It's about your health and getting back into the ring and doing what you love."

"Tell you what," Paul said at last, "I'll make a deal with you. You talk to Bree about your concerns about that whole thing about having kids and I'll look into that doctor. Okay?"

Brian nodded. "Deal. I think we'll both feel better afterward. Better yet, I'll go with you just to make sure your lazy ass _does _show up there."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"Hey Bri," Tina said cheerfully on the phone the next day. "What do I owe this honor?"

"I need to talk to you," Brian replied.

"Well, here I am. Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise already, judging from the sound of your voice."

"That kind of depends. I need to talk to Bree about something but since you two knew each other for a long time, I wanted to get your advice first."

"Sure, ask away. What's wrong?"

Brian explained the situation just as he had to Paul the afternoon before and his concerns. Tina was silent the entire time, listening intently, before finally speaking up.

"Brian?"

"Yeah?"

"That pill you saw Briana take yesterday?"

"What about it?"

"They aren't what you think you are. She's not taking anything to _prevent _getting pregnant, but something to _improve_ her chances of doing so."

He felt a huge burden being lifted. "You mean…?"

"Briana's taking _fertility drugs, _honey. See, when she and Gary were married, they wanted a child so much. There were a few false alarms, and though both of them got checked out and everything seemed all right, for some reason, Bree never got pregnant. So right before your wedding, she went to a new doctor for a checkup and was prescribed Clomid when she explained her situation during her appointment. She knows how much you want kids and of course she loves children too. She told me all about those pills when I was there for your wedding. Bree wasn't sure how to tell you about it because she wasn't sure how you felt about her doing fertility treatments."

"Let's just say I feel pretty damn good about it and leave it at that," he said brightly, feeling much better.

"Glad to be of service," Tina laughed. "Now, don't you think you should quit wasting time talking to me and getting busy starting that family with your bride? I don't think those pills she's taking are going to work by themselves, you know!"

"Right," he laughed back. "Thanks a lot, Tina. I think it's time for that chat with my wife first, though."

_Later:_

"Ah, there you are," Brian grinned

"I've been in here for the last half an hour," Briana smiled in response. "So what's up with you?"

"I was uh, hoping we could talk for a few."

"Something wrong?" Briana had a look of concern, stopping what she had been doing and gave him her full attention.

"Well, I kind of thought so, at least at first."

"Bri, what's going on?"

Difficult as it had been, Brian broke down and confessed what he had witnessed in the bathroom the day before, and his conversation with Tina earlier. "Why didn't you talk to me about this?" he wondered.

Briana sighed. "I wasn't sure either how to approach it or if you'd even still want to marry me if you knew I had a difficult time conceiving during my first marriage. It's not something I like making common knowledge."

"Sweetheart, did you really think I was _that shallow? _I'd married you anyway and would support any solution you would have sought."

She brightened. "You would? You do? I mean, I know how much you'd drop from time to time about kids, and–"

"Yeah, which I kind of thought you were taking birth control pills at first and was a little disappointed. Now that I know what they really are, I feel considerably different."

"Come to think of it, I feel better now that this is all out in the open," she nodded. "I don't want to hide anything from you, and now that you know what's really going on, I don't feel like such a freak anymore."

"I would have never thought you were a freak anyway, Bree. I love you. So how is that shit supposed to work anyway?" He was now curious.

"Kind of strange to explain really," Briana responded. "I take a 50 mg pill on days three through seven of my cycle, but apparently this stuff ill jumpstart ovulation in 80% of women using it, and about 40% to 45% of women will get pregnant within six cycles."

Brian raised a mischievous eyebrow. "Six cycles, huh? Then what the hell are we doing sitting here?"

He grabbed her hand, pulling her up toward the bedroom. "We got some work to do to see if this stuff of yours really _is_ effective."

Briana laughed, following without protest. _This could be more fun than I originally thought, _she mused to herself.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"Wow, what was _that?" _Briana panted as she lay in Brian's arms after intense lovemaking.

"I haven't the foggiest idea," he replied as his breathing slowed. "But this baby making thing could make a better workout than going to the gym. And ten times more fun."

She giggled, rolling onto her side to look at him. "That good, huh?"

"Damn right," he replied, a wide smile curling his lips. "So you think we were successful in fertilizing some eggs?"

"For heaven's sake, Brian, this isn't going to be an instant process," she laughed right before the phone rang.

Brian looked at the caller ID. "Figures dumbass would have bad timing as usual." He picked up the phone. "This better be good, El Senor; I was just enjoying the afterglow with my wife."

"Brian, good lord!" she laughed again, burrowing under the covers.

"Shit, that's the greeting I get right after I go through the torture of seeing my regular doctor and sitting in the waiting room for two hours before that? Some buddy you are," Paul groaned.

"You actually went? I better check and see if hell froze over yet." Brian lit a cigarette. "Seriously, though, what did they tell you?"

"Well, it doesn't look like anything too serious from what they could tell so far, but yeah, apparently it's a good idea to go see that specialist just as a precaution."

"Which means you're making the trip."

"I'm booking our flight and hotel as we speak, in case you were going to be a smart ass about it. Hey, and I talked to Kurt. He wants to show us around when we get there."

"The more you tell me about this, the better the idea sounds. Now aren't you glad I talked you into it?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back, short stuff. By the way, you owe me five hundred bucks."

"I'll have the check written out when you get your ass over here. When's the appointment?"

"I managed to get in a couple days after you get back from Australia. I would have had to wait about three or four months otherwise, but Kurt evidently had some pull there and got me in earlier."

"So much for him being a 'TNA yahoo', huh?"

"Yeah, you win, dude. So I'm guessing you talked to Bree about that other thing?"

"You could say that," Brian answered happily. "And then some. Anyway, nice to know you're going to be all right, buddy. Nadine's supposed to come over later too; maybe you can drop by and the four of us can go do something."

"Sounds cool. We better not get too drunk, though; you know what happened at the bowling alley when you and Bree celebrated your engagement, and the last thing we need is to piss off the girls again."

"With your condition, you don't need to be dancing or bowling anyway. I'm sure we can find something a little more Paul back-friendly and keep us out of trouble at the same time. See you tonight, man."

_That evening:_

"Hey, Nadine," Paul grinned when he showed up, seeing her at Brian's door. "What are you doing out here?"

"Believe it or not, no one's answering the door," she replied.

"What? I just talked to dude this afternoon; he specifically said you were coming over, so it isn't like they're not expecting us." He pulled out his cell phone. "Here, let me try something."

Paul dialed a number and made a face. "Hey, dopefuck, answer your phone and then your door, Nadine and I are out here."

He snapped the phone shut. "This is bullshit."

"Wait," Nadine spoke up. "It's open."

"What the hell? Brian's stupid ass must have forgotten to lock it again. Bree would shit herself if she saw that."

"Never mind that; let's go in and see what's up with them," Nadine said.

"Well, nobody around here," Paul answered, checking the kitchen and living room. "Want to take a chance and check in the back?"

"May as well," Nadine shrugged.

"I just hope to Christ no one broke in because asshole forgot to lock the door," Paul sighed as they headed toward the bedroom, where both heard low moaning.

"Fucking hell!" Paul hissed.

"What's going on?" Nadine asked.

She then peeked in and covered her eyes as she dragged Paul away toward the living room. "Oh my God!" she gasped.

"Oh, gee, thanks a lot, Nadine; now I think I'm going to puke," Paul said, plopping down on the couch, his head in his hands. "_Sabes que, _did I really need to see Brian's bare ass bouncing up and down in the fucking air? _Oquela."_

"Well, now we know why no one responded when we came in the door," she replied, a little pale.

"And why Brian shut off his phone. Jesus. I know they just got married, but this baby making thing is getting a little out of control. Then again, leave it to your cousin to marry perhaps the horniest cruiserweight in the WWE."

"You aren't kidding there. Should we leave and come back?" Nadine wondered.

"Nah, they probably don't even know we're even out here. From what we saw, they were pretty well into what they were doing in there. I guess I could get us a beer while we're waiting, though."

_Meanwhile:_

"Oh God," Briana whispered when they finished.

"What?" Brian asked.

"Shh. I think someone's in the living room."

"Shit! That has to be Nadine or Paul. Or both. You don't think they heard us….?"

"At this point, I don't care," Briana giggled. She slapped his bare ass.

"Ouch! Damn, woman!"

"Come on, we better get decent. Last one to the shower is a rotten egg."

"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong," Brian laughed, chasing her down the hall.

Twenty minutes later, both emerged, freshly dressed and groomed, into the living room where Nadine and Paul still sat.

"Make yourself at home, Paul," Brian said, not failing to notice his best friend had helped himself to the Doritos and a second beer.

Paul looked up at him and shuddered, taking a long swig of beer.

"What's your problem?" Brian wondered.

"Let's just say I saw a side of you I hadn't seen for a long, long time," Paul answered. "And it's going to take another year and me getting _very drunk _to erase the image burned in my mind."

Brian raised an eyebrow and then began to laugh, realizing what Paul had been referring to.

"So….how is that family planning going?" Nadine asked knowingly.

"It's….interesting," Briana smiled back.

"And fun," Brian added. "Any ideas for dinner? I worked up an appetite."

"I'm sure you did, dude, in more ways than one," Paul commented, trying not to choke on his beer.

"You know, there's this new Italian place down the street that just opened we haven't tried yet," Nadine suggested. "Anyone game?"

"Ah pasta," Brian grinned. "Someone is speaking my language. Any objections?"

"As long as they have hot sauce, it's all good," Paul nodded. "I need to piss before we leave, though."

"Stay out of my fucking beer, and you wouldn't have that problem," Brian quipped after him.

"Quit putting your bare ass on display for the world, and I wouldn't need your beer," Paul remarked before going into the bathroom and closing the door.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

_Several weeks later:_

"Jesus, woman," Brian groaned breathlessly as he pulled his tights up. He pulled Briana back toward him for a deep kiss. "I don't know what I did to deserve that, but there's no complaints coming from _this_ department."

"Just call it my way of saying hello and surprising you," she replied.. "I'll let you finish getting ready for your match. I'll be out front."

"Ah yes, my sole cheering section," he said laughingly, smacking her ass.

"And you say I'm an animal!" she giggled, rubbing the smacked cheek, walking out.

Moments after Briana had gone, Matt walked in with a few others "Hang on…you're in a good mood for once," he said, a bit shocked.

"Yes I am," Brian replied with a huge grin.

"But why?" Miz asked. "I saw Paul tagged along for the weekend. You two having a thing going on we don't know about?"

"Jesus Christ, Miz, don't ruin a perfectly good evening. Sorry, I don't row that boat," Brian shook his head, making a face. "And even if I did, Pedro out there would be the last ass I'd tap."

As if on cue, Paul came into the locker room. "Hey, Bri, didn't I just see your wife leaving the locker room…..?" he asked loudly.

"Gee, Paul, why not ask a little louder? I don't think the rest of these guys heard you." Brian gave him a dirty look.

Paul looked at the door and back at Brian before he appeared to have a revelation. "_Tam bien. _Is there anywhere on this earth that you two _haven't_…? "

"Wait a minute…you mean to tell me you got laid _right here in the locker room?"_ Miz exclaimed. "Dude!"

Brian simply smiled. "For me to know and you losers to find out."

"Honestly, man, I know you're newlyweds, but Jesus, the rate you two are going, you're going to have a litter like rabbits." Paul made a face.

"Yeah, not fair! You lucky bastard!" Matt cried.

"I certainly am," Brian said, ready to leave the locker room, unable to keep the smile off his face. "Score yet another one for the short blond guy. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go beat Carlito's ass again."

Paul shook his head, looking after his longtime best friend. "Christ, it never ends with him," he muttered.

_Meanwhile:_

"You did _what?" _Nadine asked, a shocked look on her face.

Briana giggled discreetly, relaying what had happened in the locker room earlier.

"Briana Lily!" Nadine exclaimed.

"What? It isn't like he didn't have a shit eating grin on his face when I left."

"Yes, but my God, didn't you two just go at it this morning?"

"And last night. So?"

"Good grief, you two are like bunnies. You are really gung ho about this baby thing, aren't you?"

"Maybe…" Briana gave a shy smile. "Of course the test I took last month was negative, but we can always keep trying, especially since the doctor upped the dosage a little."

"And if the drugs don't work?" Nadine asked.

"Probably will try in vitro," Briana nodded. "But unlike I did during my first marriage, I'm not going to give up hope on having at least one child, no matter what routes I have to take."

_Later:_

"Oh come on, give us a hint," Paul begged when they went to dinner after the show. "Someone's had to tell you something, dude."

"PL, you if anyone should know we usually don't get told anything until the last minute in most cases," Brian shook his head. "And even if I _did_ know for sure who they are going to be pairing me with to go on the tag title chase, I couldn't say anything anyway."

Briana playfully batted her eyes at him. "Not even to your own wifey?" she asked playfully.

"Sorry, sweetheart, nothing personal, but not even to you." Brian shook his head.

"Well, whoever the lucky person will be, it's exciting that they're doing something with you again," she smiled. "I was getting sick of you jobbing week after week."

"Ditto on that," Paul agreed, nodding and taking a huge bite of an enchilada.

"That wouldn't by any chance have beans in it, would it?" Brian asked.

"Sure, is there a problem?" Paul raised an eyebrow. Briana began to giggle, sensing what was coming.

"Yeah, you're sleeping in a room of your own tonight," Brian answered. "I'm not going through a night of listening to a symphony come out of your ass."

"Like you never fart, shorty. Anyway, I got plans with Jimmy, so I'm bunking with him afterward. We haven't caught up in awhile. You and the missus have the whole room to yourselves for marital fun."

Brian glanced at the ceiling. "Thank you, Jesus."

"Now, getting back to the original subject," Paul said. "Any guesses who will be your new tag partner? Not that there will be anyone better or as good looking as yours truly–"

"Oh Jesus," Brian groaned. "Roll up your pants legs, Bree; it's getting deep in here. Anyway, El Senor, I'm pretty lost on ideas, but I'm guessing they're going to bring someone up from FCW."

"Hmmm," Paul said thoughtfully. "Fresh meat. I like it."

"I'm not saying for sure, just taking a guess. Don't get too excited."

The bill came, which Paul grabbed happily. "On me tonight," he grinned, reaching for a credit card.

"That's very sweet, Paul," Briana smiled. "Thank you."

Brian looked down on the floor. "Did hell freeze over and no one tell me? I never thought I'd see the day PL would offer to pay the tab."

"Very funny, asshole. Actually, this is to celebrate your first win on Raw. And to your new tag partner, whoever the unfortunate victim that gets stuck with your weird ass may be."

Brian shook his head. "Get out of here," he laughed. "I think I see Jimmy waiting for you out front anyway."

"Sure, I get it. Get rid of the third leg so you two can get upstairs and resume baby making. Well, have fun with that." Paul gave a sly wink and left, leaving Brian and Briana alone shaking their heads and chuckling.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

"There you are," Nadine said brightly several days later when Briana had come back from errands. "Where were you all day?"

"Had to go to the bank, pay some bills, stop at the beauty supply house, and then pick up some things at the drug store," Briana replied holding up the bags she held.

"Drug store? I knew about the other stuff, but why the drug store?"

Briana shook a bottle of Tums she took out of a bag. "Evidently Brian didn't read that the bag of Cheetos he'd dived into were actually Paul's flaming hot Cheetos with lime, and well, you know Bri and spicy things don't always mix."

"Guess that will teach him to read the bag next time," Nadine chuckled before she spied something else. "Uh, Bree, is what I think it is also in that bag?"

Briana nodded. "Yeah, but don't you dare say a word to anyone. I got a more expensive one this time; it's supposed to be more accurate. Where's the guys?"

"Down at the pool," Nadine replied. "They'll be awhile; don't worry."

"Good. Maybe you can help me with this then." Briana gestured toward the bathroom.

"Didn't you just have a period, though?" Nadine called out through the door.

"Yes, but it was lighter than normal and I only went two days instead of my usual five. Could you give me those directions again?"

Nadine handed them to her, standing right outside for several minutes.

"Everything okay?" she finally asked after a long silence had passed.

"Yeah, hold on; I have to wait a few more minutes."

After another five minutes, Briana came to the bathroom door, her face revealing nothing.

Nadine looked at her expectantly. "Well? What's the verdict?"

Wordlessly, Briana showed her the test stick.

"Oh, honey," Nadine said breathlessly. "Oh my God!"

"Yeah," Briana said, trying to hold back tears. "It worked, Nadine! The fertility treatments worked!"

Nadine hugged her tightly. "I am so happy for you!"

"Me too," Briana replied. "After all these years of trying, hoping, and two marriages, I'm finally going to have a baby."

"As many times as you and Brian go at it a day, it was only a matter of time," Nadine teased her.

Briana gave her a playful punch in the arm. "Oh, stop it! By the way, you really should try outdoor sex sometime," she added slyly. "The back of his Jetta was pretty fun too."

"Oh for the love of cookies, Briana!" Nadine gasped. "I'm beginning to wonder like Paul if there's anywhere you two _haven't _done it."

"The kitchen, but don't worry; I've made it clear that room is off limits."

"Thank God. So how do you plan to break the good news to Papa?"

"First of all, it's the issue of surgically removing him from Paul's hip first," Briana joked.

"I think I can be some help there," Nadine said with a grin. "I can make some Mexican and bribe Paul to my place with it."

Briana then put the test strip in a sandwich bag. "And I'm going to keep the evidence for the time being to show Papa. I have a feeling this is going to be a very joyful evening once he gets back up here from the pool, provided he didn't get sunburned again."

_About an hour later:_

Paul sniffed the air deeply. "Dude, you smell that?"

"I'm lucky I have a stomach left, much less a sense of smell after your fucking Cheetos," Brian said. "Thank God Bree got some Tums." He chewed a few more.

"Not my fault you didn't read the bag before you made a pig of yourself and you have a white boy stomach," Paul replied. "But damn! I smell homemade quesadillas and I think it's coming from Nadine's!"

"You sure you aren't smelling your own BO? No offense, man, but you better put on some serious deodorant when we get back upstairs."

Paul sniffed an armpit. "Nope, definitely quesadillas. I think I'm going to have to 'drop in' at Nadine's tonight."

"Nice to know you're still a mooch, Paul."

"Like you aren't sometimes. Hey, it's getting close to dinner; we better head up before Bree sends out the search party for you. Maybe you lovebirds can have some alone time while I talk Nadine out of some of those fine quesadillas of hers."

Brian laughed, picking up his things. "Good luck with that. Just stop at your place, take a shower, and put on some deodorant first. Chicks don't exactly dig body odor, especially yours. If I can smell you clear over here, I don't think Nadine's going to answer her door when she gets a whiff of _that."_

Paul gave a mock bow. "Oh yes, Great Short Love Guru. I shall keep that in mind."

"Smart ass," Brian muttered, chuckling and making his way upstairs.

_Several minutes later:_

Brian came in, spying the good dishes on the table, but smelled nothing cooking. He furrowed a brow quizzically, wondering what the hell was going on. It wasn't anyone's birthday or any other special occasion–at least none that had come to his mind.

"Hey Bree?" he finally called out. "Where's dinner?"

"It should be here in about twenty minutes," she called out before emerging from the bathroom in jeans and a white peasant blouse. There was also a glow about her.

_Oh something's got to be up_, he thought.

"What's going on?" Brian finally asked. "You got a look on your face like we won the lottery and there's our good china on the table, yet you ordered out. Is there something special I forgot about?"

She had her back to him, yet wore a knowing smile. "Just something that suddenly came up."

"Jesus, come on, Bree, don't drive me nuts here."

"Well," Briana turned to him, the smile never leaving. "I guess since we have some time until dinner, I may as well have a talk with you."

He was taken aback. "About what? What did I do?"

"You have such a guilty conscience," she laughed. "You did nothing wrong, trust me. Go sit on the couch; I have something to show you, first of all."

"O….kay." Brian was still a little skeptical _Did she find his dirty magazine stash? Oh well, he could always say he borrowed them from Paul….._

Briana then appeared beside him on the couch, and much to his relief, had something in a small bag instead. "Aren't you at least curious?" she asked.

"What exactly do you have there?"

Briana pulled the test strip from the bag, showing him. "Read what it says."

"What the fuck is this?"

"Just read what it says, Brian."

He stared at it for a few minutes, a strange look on his face, before it finally hit him. "Oh Jesus, Bree, is this saying…..?"

She nodded. "We're pregnant."

Dinner arrived a short time later, but they never got around to it.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"For some odd reason, I knew you'd show up," Nadine grinned. "I must be clairvoyant or something."

"Do I smell quesadillas?" Paul asked, coming inside.

"Along with Spanish rice and refried beans," Nadine said, laughing. "Come on in and get comfortable."

"Got any beer?"

"Corona in the fridge, _senor."_

"The woman of my dreams."

"So how was your swim?" Nadine asked.

"I think it was more fun seeing the smoke coming out of Brian's ears after he pigged out on my flaming hot Cheetos with lime. Fucking hell, I don't think I've seen a dude down so many bottles of water so fast in my life. I didn't even think he knew that many curse words either. He must have picked up some new terms from all that sex with your cousin or something."

"Not likely. Believe it or not, Briana was actually shy at one time. Now I hear about topics such as outdoor sex and how great it is in the back seat of a Jetta."

"Jesus Christ!" Paul exclaimed, nearly choking on his food. "_The Jetta? _Brian's like anal retentive about that car; one scratch, and he'd shit razor blades, yet _he had sex with his wife in it?" _He shuddered. "Remind us not to sit back there anytime soon."

"About the only place around them to sit without any reservations about if anything happened on it would be their kitchen," Nadine laughed. "Bree's definitely got that room off limits."

"And he has the balls to call _me_ a pervert," Paul shook his head.

Nadine heard a musical tone and turned back to him. "I think your ass is ringing," she said.

"You're right." He pulled out his phone, peering at the Caller ID. "Hey, speak of the devil. It's short shit himself."

"Wonder what he wants?" Nadine asked with a poker face, already having an idea what it was, but kept quiet.

_Let the happy couple take this one, _she thought.

"Hell if I know. I figured they'd be having wild sex somewhere by now. Guess Bree must be having Aunt Flow visiting or something."

Nadine barely kept from laughing. _Not even close, Paul._

"Or maybe they're taking a break," she finally said playfully.

"Eh, what the hell. Let's see what the little dude wants. Be right back."

While he took the call in another room, Nadine cleaned up the dishes, putting away the leftovers and bringing out dessert and special Mexican coffee. Within ten minutes, Paul came back into the room with a huge grin.

"The blissfully wedded couple requests our presence in about an hour," Paul said, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. "And they have big news!"

Nadine smiled. She already knew what the "big news" was, but promised Briana to keep everything under wraps. This was going to be the expectant parents' moment, after all.

_Meanwhile:_

"I had them come over in about an hour," Brian grinned, snapping his phone shut. "That should give us enough time to get our shit together and clear away any evidence of our…uh, 'celebration' of sorts."

"Yeah, and just so you know, now that I am pregnant, we can slow up on the sex a bit," Briana teased, drying her hair before getting dressed. "If I knew you were going to drag me in the bedroom and ambush me when I showed you that pregnancy test, I'd prepared a little better."

"I didn't hear any complaints," he said with an evil grin. "All I heard was you screaming my name about ten times."

"Oh you're a funny guy," she giggled. "Just so you know, it isn't totally official until after I see the doctor tomorrow. And there's something else I better tell you too."

Brian looked at her, a bit concerned. "What?"

"One of the side effects of the fertility drug I took? Be warned right now; not that it could happen in my case, but there is the risk of multiples."

"Multiples? Multiple what?"

"Multiples. There's a one to ten percent chance of me having two, three, even six babies."

"Freaking hell!"

"_One to ten percent, _Brian," she repeated, stressing the point. "Not great odds, so don't bother having a coronary just yet."

"_Six babies? _That's a fucking litter."

"Well, don't count on that many," she laughed. "The most the doctor had delivered of fertility treatment mothers had been only one set of twins in ten years."

"I guess that isn't too bad. Still, those magic pills and my swimmers, we're finally going to be parents. Beats the hell out of options the Petri dish baby or me jacking off in a jar for my swimmers to go into some strange woman for a surrogate kid any day."

"Yeah." Briana glowed.

"So when did you think it finally happened?"

"What?" She looked confused.

"When the bun finally popped into the oven. The beach under the boardwalk, the back of my Jetta, or the locker room?"

"Good lord, Brian. How would you guess any of those?"

"You got to be at least four weeks along for it to show up on that stick test. That's about the time we were, um…how can I put this? Yeah, _experimenting. _There was that fun night on Venice Beach under the boardwalk, then we did it in the Jetta in the parking garage a couple nights later, and of course the famous moment of you molesting me in the locker room not long before those two times."

"Molesting, yeah. I don't recall hearing you objecting, mister," she replied. "But who really knows when I actually conceived. It may not have been any of those times. I should know more when I go to the doctor tomorrow."

Briana then tossed a clean towel and some clothes at him. "Go get your shower; there isn't much time left to waste before Paul and Nadine get here."

"Yeah, I can hardly wait to see the look on PL's face when he hears this," Brian laughed. "Maybe we should drop the prospect of six babies on Paul just to see him open a vein."

"Brian," she shook her head. "No. This is one thing we are not going to incorporate into one of your practical jokes."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

_Later that evening:_

"Paul? Come on, honey, wake up," Nadine nudged him gently.

"Maybe we shouldn't have dumped the whole baby thing on him so quick," Brian said.

"It didn't exactly help with you joking around about multiples," Briana glared at him. "Brian, I warned you about that."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know that _this _would be his reaction in general. Yo, PL! Come back to us!"

"I'll get a cold cloth and some water," Briana said. "Good grief, poor Paul. You'd think _he _was the expectant father."

"Yeah, considering _I'm_ the one that did all the work," Brian said, not missing a beat.

"Oh, you had the easy part, mister," Briana reminded him, placing the cloth on Paul. "I have to carry this precious bundle for the next nine months."

Paul opened his eyes a few moments later. "What…the…fuck?" he groaned.

"Paul, are you okay?" Nadine asked.

"Welcome back, godfather to be," Brian grinned. "Nice to see you take the news so well."

"You're an asshole," Paul grunted. "I have a headache."

"I'll get some aspirin," Nadine offered, returning shortly with two tablets and a bottle of water. "Are you sure you're all right?"

He glared over at Brian. "I'll live, but another joke like that and Papa over here may not live long enough to welcome the birth of his spawn. What the hell possessed you to start spreading your DNA around anyway? I thought kids drove you nuts."

"Some of us can change," Brian replied. "And I met and married a beautiful goddess."

"Oh, you are too sweet," both women cooed at him.

"Now I'm really going to be sick," Paul rolled his eyes. "Any decent beer in this place? I need a good buzz."

"You already had three Coronas at Nadine's," Brian reminded him. "Here, have a cigar."

"Uh, dude, aren't you supposed to pass them out _after_ Bree has the baby?" Paul asked.

"And where did you get cigars?" Briana wondered.

"Got them awhile back in Mexico," Brian answered. "I've been saving them just in case. Well, 'just in case' finally happened."

"You are not smoking those smelly things in here. As a matter of fact, you need to curb smoking period once we have the baby."

"Which brings us to the next thing," Nadine chimed in. "Aren't you going to need a bigger place?"

"Why?" Paul furrowed a brow. "It would be easier and cheaper just to hire a bulldozer to shovel Brian's junk out of their spare room."

"Dude! That's not all 'junk', as you put it. I have some good collectors' stuff in there."

"Well, let it collect at your ma's. That room would make one kick ass nursery. It's not like housing is cheap out here anyway."

"He's got a point," Briana agreed. "I don't want to move again, and there's no better excuse to finally get that room cleaned out than the present."

Brian let out a low groan.

"Brian, don't be a whiny child. I'm already carrying one; I didn't plan on raising one thirty years old."

"All right, I'll call my brother tomorrow and get those things out of there."

"I'll help," Paul offered.

"Nothing doing, holmes. The last time I had you help clean shit out, half of my good clothes and stuff ended up at Goodwill or in the Dumpster."

"You hadn't worn some of that stuff in like a hundred years," Paul said in protest

"That's beside the point. Throw your own stuff out."

"And he calls me a fucking pack rat."

"Hey, I'm not the one with fifteen hundred action figures and comic books dated back from when dinosaurs roamed the earth," Brian countered.

"Whatever the case," Briana cut in, "we need to start thinking about making a baby's room. Since we're all here, how about making this a group project?"

"As long as Paul isn't picking out any colors, I'm game," Brian said. "No kid's room of mine is going to be purple and cat shit green."

"Oh yeah, like pink and orange would be stellar," Paul responded.

"It isn't going to be either," Briana replied. "Actually, we really should consider a neutral color; that way, whatever I have, it won't matter, because it will be perfect for either a boy or girl."

"Or six boys or girls," Brian said, snickering.

"Brian." Briana shot him a look.

"If there's six, dude, you'd definitely need another place," Paul pointed out. "In any case, it's going to be hard picturing you with _one_ kid, let alone that many."

"I may surprise you yet, man," Brian grinned. "Then again, you may end up surprising yourself."

_The following afternoon:_

They had driven to the medical complex where Briana's doctor was located and she had checked in. Brian sighed, seeing all of the women in various stages of pregnancy around him, wondering if this was just a taste of what lay ahead.

_Oh, Paul would have a field day with jokes if he saw me in here_, he thought as Briana passed him a magazine.

"How to find the right diaper?" he asked, scowling at a blurb in the table of contents.

"Who knows, you may learn something," Briana teased, giggling when he made a funny face at her. "There's also pamphlets on AIDS and gonorrhea."

"No thanks, this is the lesser of the two evils. Jesus, I can't believe you talked me into this."

When Briana's name was finally called, the two of them followed the nurse back to the exam room. After recording her weight and vitals the nurse prepared the exam table.

"Remove everything and change into this," the nurse smiled, giving her a paper gown. "You know the routine, opening in the front. The doctor will be in shortly."

Brian took a seat in the corner, still looking around.. "I never thought I'd find myself in one of these rooms," he said.

"Just hold this stuff, will you? Did you honestly think this was all about you sitting pretty in the waiting area while I was being poked and prodded? You aren't getting off that easy, Papa."

"I think I sense that now." He walked over to the exam table, staring the sterling silver stirrups. "What the fuck are these things? Are they examining you or putting you through hell?"

"I'm sure some women would think the same. That's where my feet go," Briana said, gesturing at them.

"I'm well aware of that," he replied. "Still, this is going to be….odd."

"You think this is going to be enjoyable for me?" she replied, laughing. "If it makes you feel any better, Doctor Edwards is one of the best."

"Briana," the doctor said cheerfully. "How are you today?" He looked at the chart and smiled. "I see here there's a chance the Clomid treatment was successful and we may finally be pregnant."

"_Huh?" _Brian asked, eyes wide with shock.

"Relax, short man; it's medical speak," Briana reassured him.

"You must be the proud daddy," Dr. Edwards smiled at Brian, offering him a hand to shake.

"I hope the hell so," he replied.

Briana gave him a look. "Brian."

She then turned back to Dr. Edwards, telling him the results of the home test and her last period being lighter than normal.

"I see you gained a little weight too," the doctor nodded. "It sounds like you are about to be a mom, but let's take a look and see what we find." He snapped on some latex gloves. "All right, little lady, feet in the stirrups and let's have a look."

"Oh shit," Brian groaned.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt her," Dr. Edwards reassured him.

Brian stared at the ceiling during the exam, before Dr, Edwards finished up.

"Congratulations, Briana. From what I could see of your cervix and uterus, you're definitely pregnant," Dr. Edwards announced cheerfully.

"How far along would you estimate?" she asked, sitting up. "Because I think my husband over there might have some interest in the day we conceived."

Brian snapped to attention. "Wait, what?"

"You wondered last night 'when the bun popped in the oven', remember?"

"Oh right." He felt himself blushing.

"I can give you an estimated day, but an ultrasound would more accurately tell us," he said pulling over the machine. "If you'll lie back again, we can have a look."

By now, Brian was curious and crept over beside her as Dr. Edwards prepared the ultrasound. After a few minutes, the doctor spoke, stopping at a place on Briana's middle.

"And there's your baby," he said smiling.

"Uh…where?" Brian asked.

"Right there, honey," she laughed. "It's so little."

"It looks like a kidney bean."

"Don't worry, it gets bigger from here," she told him.

"Bree, I know that much; I didn't come off the boat this morning."

Dr. Edwards chuckled. "Give him time," he said. "He'll get used to the idea."

"He better," Briana teased, now enjoying herself.

The doctor then examined the image, taking measurements. "I'd say you're at least five to six weeks along."

A mischievous grin crossed Brian's face. "For some reason, I kind of had that idea."

Dr. Edwards tapped a few buttons and printout of the image on the screen was produced. "Baby's first picture," he said smiling and handing it to Brian.

"Ahh," Brian joked. "My little kidney bean."

Briana rolled her eyes and laughed again as the doctor left the room and she got dressed.

"Yep," Brian said, grinning wider and waving the picture. "Definitely had to be the back of the Jetta. I knew that car was good luck for some reason."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Paul turned the ultrasound picture in different directions, holding it up to the light. "Okay, people? Can anyone enlighten me as to what I'm supposed to be seeing here?"

Brian began to laugh. "Yo, dumbass beaner. Give me that." He snatched it from Paul and pointed out the tiny spot. "See that part that looks like a kidney bean?"

"Brian, quit calling the baby a kidney bean," Briana sighed, shaking her head.

"Well? That's what it looks like."

"Oh, that's nice. I can see it now, telling our son or daughter when they graduate from college that their father referred to them as a kidney bean while they were in the womb."

"Ha ha ha. Anyway, dude, that's the kid. Don't worry, it gets bigger than that eventually."

Paul knitted his brows, studying the picture. "Okay, I see the bean thing, but what's that beside it?"

Briana shot him a shocked look. "What?"

"There's something else beside the little bean. Didn't you guys see that?"

"Let me look." Briana was interested.

She studied it for a few moments. "Bri," she finally said, "there _is_ something beside what Dr. Edwards showed us. I'm surprised he didn't catch it. He's usually pretty thorough."

"Maybe it's part of its body or something," Brian shrugged.

"No, this looks kind of odd. I think I'm going to give him a call back."

As Briana left to make a phone call, Brian smacked Paul on the head. "You stupid fucking ass wipe! Now you have her worked up over something that probably isn't anything to worry about."

"I'm just told her what I saw," Paul said in defense. "I didn't know you guys didn't see it."

"Still, don't be doing things to rile her up. The last thing Bree needs in the coming months is more stress. It was all I had to do after we got back to the doctor today to talk her out of working up to the birth."

"Well, shit, who's going to make you beautiful then?"

"Guess I'll have to use the company people for the time being." Brian picked up a catalog and began to pore over it.

"What do you have there?" Paul asked, curious.

"Just some stuff we've been looking over to get for the nursery."

"My God, Brian," Paul said with a goofy grin. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were the woman and preparing for nesting."

"Very fucking funny," Brian replied. "You know, it doesn't kill a guy to be involved with his wife's pregnancy."

Just then Briana had come back in the room. "The doctor's supposed to call me back in a little bit," she informed them.

"Exactly what is 'a little bit?' " Paul asked.

"Probably a few hours," Briana shrugged. "He does have other patients and this isn't exactly pressing."

"Good, Paul can excite you with his bellyaching for a few minutes," Brian said. "I have to take a piss."

"TMI," Paul and Briana replied in unison.

"Just calm down, PL," Brian sighed, heading into the bathroom. "And don't get the little mama worried about nothing."

"Right." Paul rolled his eyes. "What can happen in two minutes?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," Brian moaned from the bathroom after a few minutes passed.

"Brian David, how many times have I asked you to close the door when you're in there?" Briana called out.

"Yeah, seriously, man," Paul demanded. "Were you brought up in a barn? Damn, we got a pregnant lady out here who's probably going to be sick enough eventually without seeing your dick hanging out pissing and hearing all that bullshit."

"Shut it," Brian said, flushing. "And she's seen my dick hanging out plenty of times, hence her present condition. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Paul grunted.

"Wash your hands," Briana added.

"_Yes, dear," _Brian called out with a touch of sarcasm.

"Are you sure you want to have a kid?" Paul asked her. "Because I think you already married an overgrown one."

"Sometimes I have to wonder," Briana shook her head.

Brian came out of the bathroom. "I'm going to run for some pizza. Any requests?"

"Pineapple and green pepper," Briana grinned up at him.

"Jesus Christ," he made a face. "Weird food cravings already?"

"This is just the beginning," she giggled.

"Hey, that doesn't sound too bad; at least she didn't ask for anchovies," Paul said. "Make my part with hot sausage too."

"Figures you'd want some spicy bullshit. Oh well, at least one of us knows what a normal pizza is."

Brian put on a pair of shoes just as the phone rang. Briana got up and grabbed it, figuring correctly it was Dr. Edwards' office. She took the call in the next room as the guys continued to harass each other while Brian prepared to leave.

Briana came back out a few minutes later, a little pale. "Brian," she said, "you are not going to believe this."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

"_**TWINS?!" **_he yelled.

"Twins?" Paul repeated. "Oh shit."

"Fucking hell, Bree, I thought you said there was only a one to ten percent chance of multiples with those drugs," Brian said.

"I guess I'm one of the one to ten percent," Briana shrugged. "Hey, be thankful it wasn't the six you liked to joke about."

"Yeah, honestly," Paul chuckled. "It isn't enough we have one Spanky in the world already, now there's going to be _two more_."

"You and your big mouth finding the other bean," Brian said to him. "Thanks a lot, Paul."

"Glad to oblige," he grinned.

"Even if Paul hadn't spotted it, the doctor would have eventually anyway," Briana pointed out. "Don't pitch such a fit."

"I'm not pitching a fit, I'm just…..wow, _shocked."_

"But just imagine it, dude," Paul said excitedly, "two little Brians that probably look just like you with big blue green eyes and curly blond hair that come dancing out of the womb to 'Man with a Plan' . Oh, and they'll look so cute in mini Speedos and tiny jackets."

"You're just full of wisecracks today, aren't you, _senor?"_

"No, I'm serious. I think the whole idea of two boys is kind of cool. We could teach them to wrestle and shit. Can you imagine? It would be the male version of the Bella Twins, only with more skill."

Briana cleared her throat. "Before you two start making any long term plans, please stop and consider the possibility of these twins being adorable little blond girls dressed in pink frilly dresses and little Mary Janes and their hair in curly pigtails."

"Or little brunette girls if we're really lucky," Brian grinned, now getting used to the idea. "That are as beautiful as their mama, may I add."

"Wow," she smiled. "Just five minutes ago, I thought you were about to decapitate me when I told you I was having twins. Guess you are going to warm up to the idea, huh?"

"If I was going to chop off a head, it would have been El Mexicano over here," Brian joked, indicating Paul. "Him finding that second little blob prompted all this. But then again, it will give us a head start on needing two of everything."

He gave Paul a healthy pat on the back. "Looks like you secured your spot as godfather after all, El Paulio."

"I can deal with that," Paul answered with a cheesy grin.

"Yeah, both of you will probably spoil these kids rotten," Briana chuckled. "I'll likely end up being Mean Mommy."

"Yep," Brian confirmed.

She laughed, pulling out a book, giving it to them. "In the meantime, maybe you two can help me start picking out names. It's never too early."

"What?" Paul asked jokingly, "You mean 'Hi, I'm Brian, this is my son Spanky and this is my other son Spanky' won't work?"

"You are one piece of work, dude," Brian laughed, giving him a playful shove. "Come on, man, let's get busy. This is just the beginning of the work I have ahead of me."


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

A loud belch went through the room during a Supershow weekend, a sounds that would have peeled paint off the walls.

"Dude!" Jeff scolded his brother. "Were you raised by wolves or something? Jesus, Matt, there's ladies in here."

Matt looked confused. "What? I didn't do a thing."

"Oh yeah, that just came right out of the walls," Zeke said, giving him a suspicious look

"Guys," Briana, now twelve weeks pregnant, confessed. "That really wasn't Matt."

"Thank you," Matt replied.

"It was probably Brian," Cena snickered. "The smallest guys usually make the biggest noise."

"Hey, I resent that," Rey spoke up.

"Probably Brian what?" Brian asked as he came back in the room. "Whatever it is, I was nowhere around for the last ten minutes."

"Nothing, Bri," Briana said. "Seriously, it was me."

"There is no damn way," Zeke laughed.

"Really," she insisted. "And yes, excuse me."

"Bree, what did you do?" Brian wondered, wide eyed.

"Man, you just missed your wife letting go the belch of the year," Rey nodded. "Maybe of this century."

"And you wonder why I haven't been taking you on the road," Brian looked at her, "besides character reasons, that is."

Briana gave him one of her looks. "As if I haven't listened to _your _burping and farting at home when you aren't moaning and humping my leg in bed. Forgive me for being so inconsiderate, but your twins apparently didn't care as much for dinner as much as I did.. If they're not making me belch like a truck driver after a large meal or puke my guts up, I have to pee every five minutes, which, by the way, I need to do again. Pardon me for a few minutes, gentlemen."

"Whoa, Mama just owned you, man," Jeff said to Brian.

"Wait, did she say _twins?" _Rey asked. "Brian, what the hell did you do to that poor woman?"

"What did I do? Hey, I wasn't the one who planned on twins. Jesus."

"I'm surprised he got one tadpole to fertilize that woman's eggs, let alone two of his swimmers," Cena laughed.

"Fuck you, Cena," Brian spat. "You're probably jealous because my dick's bigger than yours anyway."

"No chance in hell, small fries."

"Twins, holy hell. Talk about having your hands full," Zeke sighed.

"You aren't kidding there, big man," Brian agreed.

"So do you guys know what they are?" Evan wondered.

"They're twins." Brian gave him an odd look.

"We know that much, dumbass," Matt said. "Dude meant if you knew if they were boys or girls."

"Sorry, blond moment," Brian chuckled. "Anyway, no. Bree might when she goes back to the doctor in a few weeks."

Briana returned from the restroom and sat down.

"Feel better, sweetheart?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, for probably the next five minutes or so," she smiled.

"You going to finish your dinner?"

Briana shoved the plate toward him. "You can. I have two little souls that are not exactly fans of bacon, tomato and green pepper quiche."

"Anyway," Zeke spoke up. "There was this buddy of mine whose wife had a baby. Of course, when a woman has a kid, there's no sex for about a month."

"Six weeks," Briana cut in.

"Yeah, that. But as they say, there's more than one way to skin a cat, so I guess the wife tried something else."

"Holy shit," Rey said. "She ended up…"

"Giving your buddy a blow job," Brian finished.

"Yes," Zeke said, giving him a dirty look

"Jesus, Brian, just broadcast it, why don't you? I don't think the people in the back booth could hear you," Matt added.

"Listen, Mr. Black Cloud, just because you're cranky from lack of pussy these days because of a broken hand is no reason to bag on me."

"Guys," Jeff reminded them. "Lady present. Should we really be discussing such things?"

"It's perfectly fine, Jeff," Briana smiled. "He and Paul have gone into far worse at home."

"Speaking of which, I have to call that freak," Brian said. "He's supposed to go pick up the cribs for the nursery, and if I don't stay on his ass, he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached to the rest of him."

"Don't worry, if you don't nag him, Nadine will," Briana replied.

"Yeah, well, with Paul, two people staying on him are better than one, considering he only knows two speeds these days, those being 'slow' and 'stop'. I'll be back in a second."

"Take your time," Briana answered. "I have to pee again and then I'm going to go visit Tina. She's taking off the rest of the day from the shop and I told her I would be by to spend some time together. Meanwhile, you all can resume having man fun."

"Oh great," Brian muttered, pulling out his phone. "Why do I have a feeling the Visa bill will skyrocket after today?"


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

"What the hell goes first?" Paul asked, staring at all the parts of the cribs that had to be assembled. The room had long since been cleaned out and painted a cheerful yellow and white.

"That's why they write directions, Paul. Now Part A is supposed to go into part B," Nadine replied.

_"Huh?" _Paul was once again looking at the parts they were supposed to put together.

"Slip part A into part B," Nadine replied.

"Are you sure that's what it says?" Paul snatched the directions out of her hand. "You sure you aren't reading the ones printed in Japanese?"

"Are you sure you understand English?" she shot back. "My God, Brian's right about one thing, you can be a pain in the ass sometimes."

"What's happening?" Brian peeked his head in. "You guys having fun?"

"Ask Miss Know It All over here who thinks she's reading directions right." Paul grumbled.

"Someone has to be," Brian said. "We know how well you read them….oh wait, you _don't."_

"Yeah, Bree told me about the incident with your hair being three colors thanks to this one," Nadine grinned, grabbing the directions back from Paul.

"Shut up," Paul replied. "Just help me put all this shit together, huh? Jesus, a guy screws up one thing and no one lets me live it down. I happen to be mechanically inclined, you know. By the way," he said to Brian, "what are you still doing here anyway? I thought you went to the doctor with Briana."

"Yeah, but I'm expecting a call from Creative. It would be pretty awkward for that call to come through while I was sitting in an exam room."

"Staying in character. Right," Paul replied. "More like going to the doctor with the missus makes you squeamish. Admit it."

"Then next time you can go with her, since you apparently know everything. Anyway, _amigos," _Brian said, "until I get that call, I'll be in the other room getting the rest of the stuff in order."

_An hour later:_

"And done," Paul grinned proudly as he tightened the last nut on the second crib.

"Uh..Paul?" Nadine asked, looking at a handful of screws and nuts. "Any chance you may have forgotten something?"

"No. Actually they look pretty good. Why?"

"Then what are these for?"

"Probably extras," Paul replied. "Check them out; Brian got some pretty sturdy shit."

He grasped the bars and gave one of the cribs a shake. Within seconds, the entire crib collapsed, with the exception of a few parts.

"Oh, how mechanically inclined we are all right," Nadine giggled. "Very sturdy, Paul."

"Just hold your smart ass remarks and help me fix these damn things," Paul grumbled.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Brian asked anxiously. "I thought I heard something fall."

"Mr. Fix It didn't exactly put all the parts in the cribs and we had a collapse," Nadine snickered.

"Let me guess, didn't read the directions again, huh?" He gave Paul a knowing look.

"You got it," Nadine answered.

"Shut up," Paul sniffed.

"Better yet, let's all fix this mess," Brian offered. "If nothing else, I'd like to have these done by the time Bree gets back home."

_Meanwhile:_

Briana lay still as the ultrasound was being done on her. She was a little disappointed that Brian wasn't with her, but understood that it was important that he stood home to take the call from his job. With a possible big push coming for him, she knew more money came with more exposure, and with twins on the way, it certainly would benefit all of them in the long run.

"A new picture of the two little ones," Dr. Edwards announced, showing her the screen of the ultrasound and smiling.

"Is everything all right?" Briana asked.

"You're progressing very nicely. Would you like to know what you're having?"

"Well…I have to admit the curiosity has gotten to me," she confessed.

He showed her a few areas of each baby, highlighting various parts.

"My gosh," Briana gasped after several minutes. "Are you saying that…."

"Of course," Dr. Edwards grinned again. "Two healthy babies, one of each gender. Looks like this is your lucky day, Briana."

He then pressed a few buttons and gave her a copy. "Something to take home to the proud father," he added with a wink.

Briana smiled back before he left the room. She then dressed and prepared to leave, wondering how things at home were progressing and couldn't wait to tell everyone the news.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

They were in bed that night when Briana smiled over at Brian. "I have a surprise for you," she said.

"I should have known something was up when you didn't go into many details when you came back from the doctor today." He then sat up. "Nothing's wrong, is there?"

"Of course not. They're both coming along well and are healthy." She pulled something out of a side drawer. "Dr. Edwards sent this home for you."

"Oh yay, another kidney bean picture. We ain't showing this to Paul; my luck, he'll probably find a _third _one in there or something."

"Rest assured it's only twins, and they're much bigger than in the first picture you saw."

He studied it. "Oh yeah. What exactly am I looking at this time, though?"

"Look a little further down on both and there's your surprise."

"Jesus, they're starting to look like little aliens. Can we go back to kidney beans?"

Briana laughed. "Give me that."

She then pointed out a couple of spots on the photo. "Look right there."

Brian studied it once again, this time a little longer before it hit him. "Holy shit, is that what I think it is on one of them?"

She nodded. "They're still twins, but you're having a son _and_ a daughter."

"_Both?!!!"_

"Very good; you figured it out, Papa."

"Holy shit, this gets better every day. But Bree?"

She smiled. "Yes?"

"When I said at some point I'd like at least two kids, I didn't mean you had to have them all at once."

"I didn't actually plan it this way, but look at it like this; I'll only be in labor once. Consider it a two for one special," she joked.

"Wonder who they'll look like?"

"Considering who their papa is, I'm sure they'll be adorable. I bet your son is going to be a carbon copy of you."

"Oh, poor kid," Brian groaned. "Short and funny looking." He rubbed her stomach. "Sorry in advance about that, kiddos."

Briana gave him a playful smack. "Oh stop it. You are _not_ funny looking."

"Uh, you've seen me next to Paul and a few other guys, right?"

"Yes. Your point?"

_And people think he's arrogant and full of himself, _Briana thought. _If they only knew…_

"Okay, I'll shut up But you're sure you all are okay? You're getting big awful quick."

"Brian, I'm carrying two babies. It's not something we could exactly hide forever."

"Right. Wait till PL hears about this tomorrow that we're having one of each kid. Let's see, I can teach Junior to wrestle, spoil Little Bree Bree rotten…"

"Hold on right there, mister. 'Little Bree Bree?' 'Junior?' I gave you a book of baby names and that was the best you could do?"

"Would you prefer Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious I and II?"

"Good lord. And I thought Paul was bad."

"I am not naming my son Pedro," Brian said firmly. "If he wants a Pedro, he can go make his own damn kids."

"Honestly, did you even come up with any good names?"

"Not really," Brian sighed. "But now there's going to be one of each, my job might get easier. And since I'm wide awake," he added, grabbing the name book off the stand, "I'm going to get my happy ass back to work."


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

"Oh, geez, do we really have to go to this thing?" Brian groaned the next day.

"You know, we won't have many chances to go out socially after the twins are born," Briana replied. "And besides, I think it would be nice to go to a christening. It will give me some idea when we have one for the twins."

"Aw, no, no, no, Bree. That's worse than me having to go to mass every Easter Sunday. Do you women have an unspoken rule about putting new fathers through hell or something?"

"Brian, it's only for a couple of hours, and yes, there is free food afterward. One day won't kill you."

"The food better be worth me putting a suit on and sweating my ass off sitting through this thing."

"More like while you sit in the back pew and text, burp, fart, and still act like you did at mass when you were twelve?"

"Who the hell gave you that idea?" Brian looked shocked.

"Grandmother to be," Briana smiled.

"I should have known," he groaned. "What else did Ma spill to you during the weekly gossip session?"

"Nothing much, just how she was always turning around, snapping, 'Brian, this is a church, not a bar, feet down, gas in, phone away'!"

"The priest was boring. The one will probably be boring today too."

"They're _priests; _do you think they're going to strip or something?"

"Sometimes I wish they would."

"Brian, it's mass, not a bachelor party; you pray, you eat stale bread, you drink wine, you sing, you pray some more, you hold a candle and move on with your day! What's so difficult about that?"

"I forgot. I married a Presbyterian," he laughed. "Oh, are you going to be in for a treat today, lady."

"I'm sure I am. I think it's going to be a beautiful thing seeing a baby christened. And I doubt you'll be too bored, because Paul's going too."

"Oh, this should be a barrel of laughs. Paul dives for cover if a kid even as much as whimpers or a diaper vibrates."

"Nadine talked him into it," Briana pointed out. "So how do I look?"

"Like a glowing mama to be with a little round belly," he smiled.

"Oh my God, I'm looking fatter!"

"Sweetheart, you are _not fatter_. You're carrying twins and are absolutely beautiful." Brian came up behind her and rubbed her middle. "How about we have a little alone time before we go so I can convince you how gorgeous you are?"

_Later:_

"Why did they talk us into this shit again?" Paul whispered. "Man, I could have been home sparking up a couple of fat ones and watching some good movies, but Nadine dragged me here."

"Guess she and Briana thought you'd keep me company," Brian replied with a grin. "We can go through this hell together."

"And why have you been grinning like a cat who ate the canary since we got here?"

Brian pulled out his phone, typing in a text. Soon Paul's phone vibrated.

"What the…." he began.

"It's me, dude," Brian whispered. "I sent a text."

"What for? I'm right beside you."

"Just read it."

"Fine." Paul pulled out his phone.

**PREGNANT SEX ROCKS! **it read.

"Dude!" Paul hissed, snickering. "Are you serious?"

Brian nodded, joining the snickering. "If you ever knock a girl up, you should try it sometime," he added.

Briana turned around, glaring at them. "Will you two cut it?" she whispered in an annoyed tone. "This is a church, not a cocktail party."

"She sounds like your mom now," Paul said.

"Seriously, guys," Nadine added. "Knock it off or I'll tell Cathy that Paul wants to hold the baby."

"Uh, yeah, sure, we'll shut up now," Paul replied, clearing his throat. His phone buzzed again.

**We can still text, dude, **it said. Brian sat beside him and grinned mischievously.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

"I will never hold another kid as long as I live," Paul vowed when they left the reception that followed the christening. "Now all I can smell is baby shit."

"Hey, at least she didn't piss on you while trying to change her," Brian said. "Now I'm going to have to get these pants cleaned again and take another fucking shower when we get home."

"Yeah, did you all hear the scream come out of that kid when Brian picked her up at first? Of course, if I saw that, I'd scream too," Paul laughed.

"Real funny, Paul. Now I can see why that kid shit her diaper while she sat on your lap. But I swear to Christ, from now on, if I didn't fertilize it, I'm not taking care of a kid."

"Get used to it, Papa," Briana reminded him. "In a matter of months, you're going to be having _two_ of them to deal with for at least the next twenty-one years."

"At least the nice thing about other people's kids is that you can give _those_ back at the end of the day," Paul replied.

"Nice to know you think about your future godchildren like a library book, dude," Brian said, shooting him a look.

"I didn't mean it like that, man. I might like the idea of playing with twins."

"Yeah, right. When Lelani filled her pants, you couldn't get rid of her fast enough. You acted like a scalded cat. I could just see now how you'd react to two shitty diapers."

"Hey, I wasn't the one who recited the whole cuss dictionary for twenty people to hear when she pissed on you," Paul responded.

"I have a feeling you're going to have a blast with these two knuckleheads when the twins are born," Nadine said to Briana.

"I was just thinking that," Briana laughed. "And speaking of full diapers, my mother in law told me a story about how Brian here would _smile_ while filling his."

"Jesus, Bree! That's it, all communication between Ma and you ceases as of today." Brian shook his head, embarrassed. "Then again, Lord knows what else she's told you."

"I believe it," Paul responded. "He can't keep a straight face when he _farts _to this day. Damn things are silent, and every time he does it, he has to refrain from laughing."

"You don't have to remind me of that," Briana said.

"Yeah, poor you, and being pregnant besides; that has to be torture to smell. I would just look over and see a smirk before I would have to get up with a pillow over my face like 'This is bullshit ' I had to leave the damn room."

"Oh yeah, like I didn't have to listen to that orchestra playing out of your ass every night when we traveled together," Brian retorted. "I mean, they don't smell or anything; they're just LOUD."

"I've heard some of those when I slept over a few times," Nadine agreed. "Thank goodness he was on the couch each time."

"Love you too, Nadine," Paul cracked.

"Yep," Brian continued, "And the loudest, most horrible thing about PL is his sneezing. You have no fucking idea; he can shake the foundations of a _building _with how loud he sneezes."

"I think one of those registered on the Richter scale," Nadine nodded laughingly.

"What the hell is this, pick on the Mexican guy day?" Paul asked. "Isn't it enough I had a shit factory load her diaper on me, now I have to listen to you two bag on me all the way home?"

"I'm just getting warmed up," Brian answered. "Besides, you haven't lived until you've heard Briana let go one of her recent belches. She puts me to shame."

"Brian!" Briana exclaimed.

"_She's_ pregnant," Paul said. "What's _your_ excuse?"

"Thank you, Paul," Briana smiled at him.

"Oh by the way, your husband thinks pregnant sex rocks," Paul continued. "His words, not mine."

"**BRIAN DAVID!" **Briana yelled.

"What?" he asked, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Is _nothing_ sacred with you? Why not just take out a full page ad on our love life?"

Brian glared over at Paul. "Thanks a hell of a lot, big mouth," he growled.

Paul gave a goofy grin. "No problem, man."

"Apparently nothing's sacred with El Loose-o Lips-o here either." Brian gave Paul a whack on the head.

"That's beside the point. What we do at home is not for bragging about to your buddies or the locker room."

"Um….I don't exactly talk about this stuff in the locker room."

"Yet," Paul snickered.

"Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to arrive at home alive and eventually see the birth of your godchildren?"

"That would help."

"Then close your mouth," Brian replied. "Otherwise, I've already found a place to hide your body."

The two women laughed. "Never a dull moment with these two," Nadine said.

"Why do you think I insisted they come along?" Briana asked knowingly. "Bri was right about one thing, those ceremonies _are_ boring. I think I'll pass on having one."

"But you can still have the party part," Brian grinned. "That was fun, even if the kid did piss on me. But hell, now that I think about it, I'm considering that a rehearsal."


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Brian had been gone for a few days, and for some odd reason, Briana was enjoying the quiet for a change. It allowed her to rest without someone either constantly bothering her or a bunch of ruckus in the house in general; she was now very pregnant, and it never failed about the same time every night the twins would be actively moving inside her.

Briana had been dozing for about an hour when the phone rang, jarring her awake.

"Just checking in on Mama," Brian said cheerfully. "How is it going?"

"Talk to your twins," she replied. "Three a.m. each night, we have an _in utero _wrestling match between them. I think your daughter may have handed your son's ass to him last night, though."

"Ah, they're getting started early. How was your doctor's appointment?"

"Well, for the most part, everything seems fine, though Dr. Edwards says there's a chance I could deliver early."

"Oh, Jesus. I knew I should have asked for time off earlier."

"No use getting into a panic. I haven't even 'dropped' yet, so things seems to be okay so far. And yes, before you ask, I've been resting."

"Good girl. Now in case something should happen–"

"For the love of God, Brian, I have your whole itinerary, every phone number where you can be reached, the suitcase is packed, and Nadine can take me to the hospital. Will you calm down? You're worse than I am and _I'm_ the one who's pregnant."

"Well, what if you pop them at home by yourself?"

"Not going to happen. Now settle down. And they're not going to be 'popped'; they are going to be born."

"Sorry. Did the carpet installer show up by any chance this week?"

"Yes, and bless his heart, Paul managed to put everything back in the right place without breaking anything once the new rug was put in."

"Let me look and see if hell froze over yet," Brian replied with a laugh. "He didn't fuck up his back again in the meantime, did he?"

"No, he's fine. The carpet people handled the real bulky stuff."

"Oh good, I was hoping he wouldn't be anywhere near the new furniture, especially after the fiasco with putting the cribs together. Ah, and to think El Stupido will be joining me here very soon."

"A few hours, in fact," Briana answered. "Paul's flight left about forty five minutes ago."

"Better to drive me nuts than you. Paul would send Satan into early labor."

"Oh come on, Bri, don't rag on him so much; he actually took Lamaze classes with me during times you've been gone."

"Knowing Paul, it was probably to meet chicks."

"Maybe, or to prepare on the off chance he was here and you weren't home."

Brian then heard an ungodly noise from his end as his wife let go a belch. "What the hell was _that?"_

"Pepperoni and sausage pizza talking back," Briana giggled, excusing herself. "Apparently someone in here wasn't crazy about that either."

"There's Moose Tracks ice cream in the freezer," Brian reminded her. "Maybe that will help."

"There's a jar of pickles out there in the fridge too," she said. "Those can be my midnight snack."

_The next day:_

"Dude, why the hell did you drag me out of bed and to a damn mall _before _noon?" Paul grumbled as he and Brian made their way into the entrance. "I was having a good dream about Briana Banks."

"I need help finding a something for Bree for when the twins are born," Brian replied stopping and gazing around the mall with a lost look on his face.

"Couldn't we have done this at home instead of some bum fuck nowhere town?"

"Yeah, but at least here I can shop in peace without being practically mobbed like we are at home."

"Any thoughts on what you want to get her?"

"I haven't got a clue," Brian said. "I was thinking some kind of jewelry."

"Lingerie would work instead. It'll benefit both of you," Paul grinned, nodding toward a store.

"Now I know why you've never been married," Brian replied, quirking a brow. "Dude, the last thing you want to get a woman right after she's given birth is lingerie. They're usually feeling fat and tired afterward, and with good reason. You want me to get killed and not see my twins get married? Jesus Christ."

"Jewelry could work," Paul finally agreed. "What did you have in mind?"

"I haven't a clue yet, but something special that would commemorate the birth and she'd remember for years to come."

"Family ring?" Paul suggested, eying a display once they'd found a jewelry store.

Brian shook his head. "Too cheesy, and if there's any more kids, I'd have to add to it. No, I was thinking something a little better."

"_More kids? _Jesus, are you planning your own wrestling team or something?"

"I said 'if', ass wipe. Here, let's look at some of this stuff."

"Fucking hell, you could probably get something just as nice and for a cheaper price at Wal-Mart."

Brian glared at Paul. "Seriously, dude, stay single. I'd feel sorry for any woman that married you otherwise. There's lots of things a man can skimp on, but this isn't one of them."

He finally brightened, spotting something in another display case. "This is it!"

"What?" Paul asked.

"Eternity ring. That would be perfect."

"What the fuck is an 'eternity ring'?"

"Jesus, Paul, just when I wonder if you can't get any dumber, and to think you were the one that went to college. Eternity rings are usually used for wedding bands, but now are getting increasingly popular as anniversary gifts and symbolizations of many special moments. I think the birth of twins would be a special moment, don't you?"

"Oh, okay. Which are you getting Bree?" Paul studied the case.

"The diamond and white gold one right here." Brian tapped on the glass. "Let me find someone to see if it comes in Briana's size. It will be freaking perfect."

"Get the redhead over there," Paul grinned, jerking his thumb toward a full-breasted, attractive saleswoman not far from them.

Brian rolled his eyes. "Only you would be ogling the sales help.I'd rather get someone who looks like they know what they're doing."

"Spoilsport," Paul sniffed.

"Just stay here," Brian shot him a look. "For once, do something with me where you aren't making an ass of yourself."


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

"Whoops," Briana said after a tiny burp. "Excuse me."

"Wow," Nadine laughed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd swear either Brian or Paul was home."

Briana patted her expanded middle. "Thank these two for that and keeping me awake at night with their late night wrestling matches."

"They're _that_ active?"

"I certainly hope so, especially now that it's getting closer to their arrival into the world." Briana adjusted the heating pad she had been leaning against on the chair "On that note, they've been doing this for the last several months."

"Are you okay?" Nadine asked, concerned.

"Just a little backache. Nothing the trusting heating pad I jacked out of Brian's drawer won't handle. All part of being pregnant."

"Oh, all right. Is it cool enough in here? I know how Paul likes to freeze everyone practically to death when he's home, so I turned it down a bit."

"Very comfortable. And as callous as it sounds, I welcome the peace and quiet for once, being I won't have many opportunities for it much longer."

"Me too, taking into consideration Paul is an overgrown child," Nadine laughed in agreement. "He's probably driving Brian insane as we speak."

"That's a short trip for either of them," Briana giggled before wincing.

"Are you sure…" Nadine began.

"Back spasm," Briana nodded, adjusting again.

"All right." Nadine wasn't totally sure.

"Good grief, you're almost as bad as Brian," Briana said. "Look, I haven't even dropped yet."

"Some people don't, Bree."

"Back pains come with being pregnant, especially this late and the fact I'm carrying two of them. Right now, someone is sitting on my bladder; I'll be right back."

_Meanwhile, several minutes later:_

"I think she's going to love it," Paul said, studying the ring. "Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and get more of that rocking pregnant sex when she sees this."

"Dude, she'll get it _after _the twins are born," Brian replied. "As for the sex thing, not that it's any of your business, but there hasn't been any of that in the last month or so. Bree's been too uncomfortable."

"Gee, if I'd known that, I'd loaned you some porn or hired you a hooker."

"No thanks; I can live for a few more weeks. Plus I don't sleep around on Bree. Marriage is a _contract; _didn't anyone tell you that, dumbass?"

"I do know you can't get laid at least a month after chicks give birth."

"Yeah, only you would know all the sex stuff." Brian rolled his eyes. "Besides, there's more than one way around that."

The sound of a phone ringing came between their banter. "Your ass is ringing again," Brian told him.

"Probably that hot redhead from the jewelry place!" Paul said excitedly, pulling out the phone. "El Romeo here," he answered as Brian shook his head and rolled his eyes again.

"Paul, is Brian's phone off or something?" Nadine asked from the other end. "If so, both of you better head home. Briana just went into labor!"


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

"Just breathe, breathe," Nadine advised Briana as they raced to the hospital. "Dr. Edwards is supposed to meet us there."

"Did you.." Briana began before another contraction hit.

"Yeah, they're supposed to get the next flight out."

"God, of all times for these two to decide to be born," Briana sighed. "I sure hope that doctor has some serious drugs waiting for me too."

"Oh, sweetie," Nadine comforted her. "Just think by this time tomorrow it will be all over and you'll have two beautiful babies."

"Yeah," Briana sighed as they pulled into the parking lot, "but right now we better concentrate on getting the closest spot to the door possible."

_An hour later:_

"I can not believe that we missed our flight," Brian said shaking his head. "This is the last fucking time I'm letting you drive and taking what you see as 'shortcuts'."

"I didn't think we'd go into a construction zone and then hit rush hour after that," Paul countered. He sighed and pulled out his phone, but then put it away. Nadine probably wouldn't have her phone on if she'd taken Briana to the hospital.

"It doesn't help that you drive like such an old woman, it takes half an hour for you to go one block," Brian continued to rant. "Do you realize we're going to be stuck here another _three hours? _Thanks a lot, dopefuck."

"Dude," Paul replied, placing a reassuring hand on the shorter man's shoulder. "Bree will be fine. The babies will be fine. You'll be there for the rest of the baby stuff and when they go to college and shit. Don't panic."

"Don't panic. If the tables had been turned, you'd be ready to slit my throat. Be thankful I'm letting you live."

A page then came over the PA system, summoning them to the counter. "Hey," Paul grinned, "that could only mean one thing."

"That we're going to be here all night? As if this day couldn't get any worse," Brian groaned. "I have to be stuck in airport hell all night looking at your goofy ass."

"No, I actually had us put on a list in case there was any chance we could be bumped to something earlier."

Brian lit up. "You did what?"

Paul nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, what do you know; there is a brain in that bubble that sits between your shoulders. Come on, man, let's go. If it means sitting in the shittiest seats, right now I don't care. We have to get home!"

_At the hospital some time later:_

Nadine had turned her phone on as she sat in the maternity floor's waiting room. She had called Tina, but had gotten her voicemail.

She was feeling a little frustrated; the guys still hadn't arrived nor called, and now she couldn't reach Tina. For Briana's sake, however, Nadine managed to stay calm.

Five minutes later, her phone buzzed, and she jumped before answering it. It had been Tina. Nadine informed her that she and Briana were at the hospital, and Briana was having the twins.

"Already?" Tina asked. "She wasn't due for another four weeks yet."

"I know, but the doctor did warn her they could come early. Well, tonight's the night, and Brian's out of town. He was supposed to get an early flight back, but I haven 't seen or heard from him."

"Oh hell," Tina said. "That isn't good. I'm coming up there as soon as I can close the shop and get a flight."

"That's a good idea."

"Have you heard anything yet?"

"No, someone's supposed to come out to talk to me shortly."

"Keep me posted," Tina advised her. "This being the end of the week, I have a feeling I'm going to be stuck here for awhile longer, but hopefully I can get out of here ASAP."

"Take your time," Nadine answered. "Hopefully Brian should be here soon or at least called."

_Meanwhile:_

"Paul, wake up and quit drooling on me," Brian said, giving him a shove.

"Are we there yet?" Paul asked groggily.

"No, not for another half an hour at least."

"Then why in the hell did you wake me up?"

"You were _drooling _on my shoulder, dumbass. Lord knows I'll be dealing with enough drool and puke on me soon enough for the next few years without your contribution right now, not to mention you were snoring like a bear and have dog breath."

"Hey, I could have been moaning, spooning you, and humping your leg like some people I know."

"Just chew some gum or something. What did you eat before we left anyway?"

"Burrito from the vending machine."

Brian shuddered. "Ugh."

"Hey, check out the rack on that flight attendant," Paul grinned.

"Dude, for once, can you be in a public place without ogling women? Put your eyes back in your head."

"Oh right, if some chick came by here right now with a nice full ass, you mean to tell me you wouldn't look?"

"_Look, _Paul," Brian said, "not fucking ogle and undress them with my eyes. Besides, I have a beautiful wife at home about to give birth as we speak. Can we concentrate on that fact?"

Paul sulked. "Right. Now let's hope she hasn't had them by the time we get there."

_Two hours:_

A nurse had come out to talk to Nadine, informing her what was happening with Briana. Once she'd gotten news what was going on, she dialed Tina immediately.

"Any word yet?" Tina asked when she picked up on the second ring.

.

"I talked to a nurse," Nadine replied. "She just told me that Dr. Edwards has to perform a C-section on Briana. I have a feeling I'm going to be here awhile."

"C-section? Is there something wrong?"

"Apparently the one twin was going to be breech and there wasn't a safe way to turn it around without doing a C-section. Plus it looked like Bree's birth canal was too narrow to accommodate a natural birth."

"God, that poor girl. First she has a hard time getting pregnant, and when she does, she can't even deliver them the way it's supposed to be done."

"I'm sure she'll be okay," Nadine assured her. "You and I both know she's tough stock."

"Yes, very much so. Give her my love," Tina said. "I'm heading out as soon as I finish this last client's perm. I've already locked the doors, so I should be good to go from here."

"Good," Nadine said. "And I think I just saw Papa coming around the corner. They're finally here, thank God!"


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

"What took you guys so long?" Nadine asked anxiously. "You were due here almost two hours ago!"

"We missed our flight and got bumped to another one," Brian replied, giving Paul a look. "Any news yet?"

"Briana's having a C-section as we speak."

"_What?!"_

"I just told Tina the same thing; that one of the twins was going to be breech and it also looked like her birth canal was too narrow for her to give birth the regular way."

"Oh holy shit," Brian said, feeling anxious himself.

"Bri, don't worry about it. They're doing this so the twins can be delivered safely. They're all going to be fine. Dr. Edwards is one of the best."

"How long has it been?" Paul wondered.

"At least an hour or so," Nadine answered. "May as well get comfortable boys; we could be here awhile."

"In that case, I'm going to find us some coffee," Paul volunteered. "Daddy and I came here straight from the airport, and I think we could all use some."

"Thanks, man," Brian nodded. "I'd like that."

_Later:_

At some point, even after cafeteria coffee, the three of them must have dozed off because they had been jolted awake as Dr. Edwards came out.

"How is she?" Brian asked before the doctor had a chance to speak.

"Briana came through just beautifully," Dr. Edwards smiled. "You have two healthy, beautiful twins, both that are doing well. She's in the recovery room right now, but she should be in her room in a short while."

Brian sighed with relief, smiling and nodding. "Thanks, Doc."

"See?" Nadine smiled at him. "All that worry for nothing. I told you he was one of the best."

"The babies…"Brian started.

Dr. Edwards nodded. "They've been taken to the nursery downstairs. You may go see them if you like."

"Heck yeah," Paul grinned. "I want to see those two little beauties."

"This coming from a guy who acts like a scalded cat when someone make him hold one," Brian laughed.

"But these ones are different," Paul laughed back. "They're _yours_."

"Come on, guys," Nadine smiled, hooking her arms into each one of theirs, "let's go welcome the new arrivals, shall we? We can come back and see Briana later when she's up to it."

_A short time later:_

"Holy shit, how many are in there?" Paul asked, scanning over the rows of newborns. "Dude, are you sure it was just two babies and you weren't holding out on me while secretly planning to be father of your own country?"

"Very funny," Brian said as a nurse brought the twins toward the viewing window. "Actually, mine are headed this way right now."

"Oh gosh, just look at them!" Nadine exclaimed. "They are beautiful!"

Bella had been the smaller twin; only sixteen inches long, she had weighed five pounds, seven ounces, and was only minutes younger than her twin brother, Brett. He had been nineteen inches and weighed a little over eight pounds. Both had blond fuzz on their heads.

"No doubt they're yours, Spanky," Paul laughed as Brett let out a howl, "especially your son. He even got your big mouth."

"Shut up," Brian chuckled, giving Paul a playful punch in the arm. "or the first time they load a diaper, I'm making you change it."

"Now there would be a Kodak moment," Nadine giggled as she admired Bella, who slept contentedly.

"Right." Paul then patted Brian on the back. "In all seriousness, man, you did great."

"Well, it was Bree that did most of it," Brian smiled appreciatively, "but now is when the real work starts."


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

_That evening:_

"Hey, Mama," Brian cooed gently as he sat beside Briana's bed.

"Hey," she answered groggily. "Hi. When did you get here?"

"About a few hours ago. Sorry for–"

Briana cut him off. "It wouldn't have mattered anyway, since I had to have a C-section. Did you see the twins yet?"

"We did," Brian nodded. "And they are as beautiful as their mama."

"Actually, I think they look more like you," she smiled. "And your son has good lung power."

"Yeah, uh, Paul kind of pointed that out earlier when we went down to the nursery."

He then spotted an odd machine. "What's this?"

"It's a pain pump," Briana answered. "All I do is push a button every so often and a certain amount comes out. It's for the incision from the C-section."

"Damn. And to think all I got were pills when I needed something. Maybe I should have a kid sometime."

She laughed. "That would be some headline if you actually did."

A nurse interrupted them when she rolled in the twins. "I think a couple of little ones would like to see their mommy," she said cheerfully, bringing the clear cradles over by Briana's bed and then placed Brett in her arms. He immediately latched on to her left breast, Briana adjusting the baby accordingly so he could do so.

"Jesus," Brian said, wide eyed. "Apparently he likes to eat too."

"Just like his dad," Briana smiled, cuddling their son as he nursed greedily.

"I don't know whether to be envious or turned on."

"Good God, Brian," she laughed again. "Only you would come up with something like that."

He leaned over to pick up Bella out of the cradle. "I can't do what Mama's doing with your brother, little princess, but it doesn't mean you can't be held too."

Bella nestled into him, immediately going to sleep. Brian cuddled her gently, smiling down at his new daughter.

"You know, sweetheart," he said to her softly. "Mama carried you and your brother for nine months. Now it's time for your Papa here to carry both of you for the rest of your lives."

_Two days later:_

"OW! Mother…" Paul yelled as he fumbled with one of car seats. He cursed in Spanish under his breath as he tried in vain to put the second seat in place. Brian had already finished with the first one.

Briana and Brian now stood listening to him as they cuddled the babies and tried to restrain from laughing; he held Bella while she rocked Brett gently.

She and the twins had been discharged from the hospital nearly half an hour, but with Paul fumbling around, they had yet to leave the parking garage.

"This is bullshit," Paul grunted.

"Would you like me to try?" Briana offered.

"I can do this," he replied. "Really, I can."

"Sure you can, El Senor," Brian teased. "That's why it's taken you half an hour."

"Bite me, Brian," Paul snorted.

"Paul, take Brett. I'll put the other seat in," Briana said.

He sighed, reluctantly taking the baby. "Um..hi, kid," he said as he held Brett in his arms. The baby cooed at him and grabbed a finger.

"Hey, look, man," Brian smiled. "I think some little guy likes you."

"Yeah, you think?" Paul smiled down at Brett. "He is a pretty cool guy, isn't he?"

"They're both awesome." Brian said, nodding at Bella, who was asleep.

"Does that little girl even do anything?" Paul wondered. "Every time I've seen her, she's sleeping."

"Paul, she and Brett are two days old. She's not exactly going to get up and tap dance and sing 'Stars and Stripes' just yet," Brian said. "About all they're going to do for at least the first six months is spend time on Mama's tit, sleep, shit, and yell."

"Fun," Paul replied.

"It's in," Briana announced cheerfully.

"Please say you're joking," Paul said as he handed Brett back to her and checked on the car seat, which was indeed intact.

"Once again, Paul gets beaten by a girl," Brian grinned, securing Bella in her seat before taking Brett from him and doing the same. "Now we can finally go home."

Bella continued to sleep while Brett began to whine once the car started. "It's okay, little man," Brian reassured him. "We're taking you guys to your new home."

_Later that day:_

Briana had been in the back nursing Bella while Brian had been on the couch, Brett over his shoulder. "Come on, little man," he said between pats and rubs, "Give Papa a little burp."

Brett fussed a bit as Brian continued to pat his back, alternating rubbing in between pats. Soon the baby let go a loud belch, which made Paul jump.

"Holy hell! That was the _baby?"_

Brian grinned and nodded as he wiped Brett's mouth.

"Damn, if I didn't know any better, I'd sworn that was one of _yours, _dude. Guess we know Brett takes after his old man in that department."

"Wait till it's Bella's turn if you think this was something," Brian laughed. "She's definitely her daddy's girl."

He then handed Brett to Paul. "Here, hold your godson."

"Uh…." Paul began.

"Well, you have to hold him anyway. I have to take a piss and then get Bella."

"That's convenient," Paul said as Brian gave him the baby.

"Just hold him," Brian shook his head. "He won't bite or break, trust me."

"Right," Paul groaned.

Soon, as not to be outdone by her twin, Bella's own burp echoed out into the next room.

"Good one, Mama, " Brian praised his wife from his post in the bathroom. "That's my little girl!"

"Brian," she replied. "The bathroom door. Close it. We have children now."

"Geez, fine," he said, flushing and then washing his hands before coming out of the bathroom. "Ready for me to take her?"

"Of course." Briana handed over their daughter. "I think someone may need a change, though."

"I'm right on it," Brian grinned. "Let's go get you a dry butt, Princess," he said to Bella.

In the nursery, he grabbed some baby wipes, powder, and a diaper before he and cleaned Bella up. Brian then put on a fresh diaper and her onesie, tossing the dirty one and the used baby wipes into a nearby plastic sack, tying it up.

He had just picked the baby up to take into the living room to join Paul and Brett when he heard Paul let out a loud moan.

"What's your problem?" Brian called out, carrying Bella.

"Oh, lucky me," Paul groaned. "I think your son just dropped a load." He made a face.

"Well, congratulations, Godfather Paul," Brian smiled. "You just won a chance to change your first shitty diaper."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

"**OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! EWWW! EWWWW! BRIAN!" **Paul bellowed.

"What is _his_ problem?" Briana asked, putting Brett in his crib. "And could you get Bella for me so we can put her down for a nap too?"

"Sure, I can do that while I'm checking out who's murdering El Big Mouth out there," Brian nodded.

He went out in the living room where Paul sat, holding out Bella, who had begun to fuss.

"Paul, Jesus, support her head!" Brian exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing to that poor baby?"

"Your daughter just fucking puked on me," Paul answered. "_Oquela_, what am I, a shit and barf receptacle for these two?"

"Dude, she's six weeks old; she doesn't know any better." Brian shook his head and took Bella. "Come here, Princess, Papa has you safe from the whiny person."

"I am not whiny," Paul answered. "I don't exactly relish the smell of recycled milk." He studied the spot on his shirt where Bella had spit up, making a face.

Brian began to laugh. "You mean kind of like you wore the surgical mask and gloves to change Brett the other day because you don't relish the smell of baby shit? You have a lot to learn, man."

"Just get me something to clean this shit off," Paul groaned. "I got to go out in half an hour."

"So you know, chicks dig babies," Brian grinned. "Sure you don't want to take Bella out?"

"Never mind." Paul glared at him.

"Your loss, dude. I'll be back in a second as soon as I give this cutie to Mama to put her to nappy nap."

Brian cooed at his baby daughter, who mouth curled up at both ends.

"Paul, check it out!"

Paul rolled his eyes. "What is it this time, Mr. Mom?"

"Bella just _smiled _at me! Bree! Baby, you have to check this out!"

"She probably just farted, dude. Don't get so excited." Paul shook his head.

"No, I think this was a smile. They're at that age when they're going to start doing little stuff like this."

Brian gently tickled her. "See! She did it again!"

"Did what?" Briana asked, coming out to get the baby.

"Bella smiled!"

"She probably has gas," Paul added. "or was laughing at the sight of the funny looking short freak that had been holding her before you."

"Very fucking hilarious, Paul." Brian shook his head

"Only you would have that theory, Paul," Briana chuckled, and then smiled at her daughter. "What's this about smiling at Papa?" she cooed at Bella, tickling her chin.

Bella smiled again, this time at her mother. "Oh gosh, she did do it!"

"Right now, she's appreciating Mama's beauty," Brian grinned.

Briana kissed his cheek and looked back at Bella. "Papa is just too sweet, isn't he?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Paul groaned. "Too much cheesy love fest in here."

"Good, go hurl in the bathroom; we don't need your tacos making a reappearance on the new carpet," Brian said.

"I'm going to put this little lady down for her nap," Briana smiled before she spotted the place on Paul's shirt where Bella had spit up. "A little Palmolive and some warm water will get that right out," she told him. "It's in the kitchen."

"Really?"

"Trust me, I've been puked on enough these last six weeks to have expert knowledge by now," Briana nodded. "And next time, you may want to use a burp cloth to prevent that from happening again."

"Thanks for the tip. But what's a burp cloth?"

Brian held up a rag. "Something like this," he said. "As I stated before, dude, you have a lot to learn."

"So do you, for that matter," Briana replied, nudging him. "Come on, we need to put Smiley Sleepyhead down for her nap."


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

The next day, when Paul and Nadine stopped to visit, they found Brian napping on the couch with Brett tucked in an arm while Bella slumbered on his chest.

"Oh isn't that cute," Nadine cooed, pulling out her camera phone. "I have to capture this."

"Yeah, and we can use it to blackmail him later," Paul replied, grinning. Nadine gave him a playful smack on the head for his effort.

Briana looked tired, though she tried her best to smile brightly. "Sorry, guys, but Brett was up fussing most of the night, and it woke Bella up and she started."

She gestured toward Brian. "Long story short, it was a very long night. Can I get you guys anything?" she asked softly. "I just made coffee."

"Works for me," Paul nodded. "Let me get it."

"And to think Bri is missing this," Nadine chuckled, "you're actually getting off your ass to do something without being asked eighty times."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Nadine." Paul went into the kitchen.

"Bring those cookies on the counter out too," Briana called after him. "I will be so happy when these two finally sleep through the night," she told Nadine.

"They might when they're twenty one," Paul commented, earning another slap from Nadine.

"What? You mean to tell me Briana and the short sex fiend in there could fuck nonstop like rabbits all night, yet once they had two more short people, they're both dead tired?"

"You really have no concept of parenthood, do you?" Briana shook her head.

"Just wait until you're a father," Nadine said, smiling.

Paul's eyes widened. "Um, that's not going to be for about another twenty years."

Briana chuckled, shaking her head. "It might be sooner than you think."

Nadine nodded in agreement. "Never say never."

"Oh hell no," Paul yelled, making a face. "Hell no! Leave the shit factories to Brian in there."

"Keep it down," Briana said in a low voice before sighing once Bella had begun to fuss.

"Thought I heard Paul's big mouth," Brian called from the living room. "I think the little lady and her brother are hungry anyway."

He came into the room, a baby in each arm, handing them over to Briana before reaching for the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup.

Brian noticed the expression on Paul's face. "What bug went up your ass?" he asked, sitting down at the table and drinking his coffee..

"We were bagging him about having his own kids," Nadine giggled. "You'd think from his reaction, Paul was just sentenced to death."

"More like life without parole," Paul replied.

"What's wrong with having kids?" Brian asked, flipping through the Sunday paper.

"No offense, dude, but I'd like to audition a potential mate before having kids, not jump on the first chick to smile at me."

"You should really try to grow up first," Brian advised, "and try to see women as more than sex objects and your personal slaves."

"Thank you!" Nadine exclaimed, nodding eagerly. "That's what I've been trying to tell this ass clown."

"Wow, gee, thanks a lot, Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil," Paul replied. "If I wanted advice on relationships, I'd find someone who didn't knock up their wife in the back of his prized Jetta and wifey's cousin over here."

"_Brian!_" Briana cried. "Did you honestly tell him about that?"

"It was a lucky guess at the time," Brian said, glaring at Paul. "But apparently El Mexicano here blew it out of proportion."

"Next time, learn to keep your mouth shut about such things," Briana answered.

"Are you kidding? Brian's worse than old women gossiping over their fences," Paul said. Nadine whacked him a third time. "What? He is. Dude doesn't know what 'keeping quiet' is."

"And evidently, neither do _you,_" Brian shot back. "What the hell was that sound? Christ, Paul, did you let one rip again?"

"No," Briana answered, handing over Brett. "It was your son. He needs a diaper change."

"I'm out of here," Paul announced quickly, standing up and about to make a break for it when Brian grabbed the waistband of his pants.

"Nothing doing, _senor_. If I'm going down for this one, you're going with me."

"Why do I get stuck in these situations again?" Paul asked as Brian lay Brett down on the changing pad and opened his diaper.

"Fucking hell, Brian, what are you and your wife feeding these kids?!" he cried, jumping back after seeing the loaded diaper. "And I've shared rooms with you when you've farted and thought your stink was bad. _Oquela._"

"Watch your mouth, dude," Brian warned him. "There are ladies and little ears present."

"He's barely two months old. He doesn't know what we're saying."

"Kids are like sponges these days," Brian said, before hearing a loud belch, which caused Brett to smile. "And Jesus, Paul, you can at least excuse yourself, you fucking gas bag."

"Honey?" Briana spoke up from the other room before Paul had a chance to defend himself. "That was Bella."

"Yeah, man, why do _I_ always get blamed when a kid shits or burps around here?" Paul raised an eyebrow.

"You're an easy target," Brian deadpanned, "not to mention you can be pretty loud, whether it's fart, sneeze, or burp."

"Hey, at least it keeps these two amused," Paul grinned, noticing Brett still smiling.

Brian handed him a plastic bag. "Make yourself useful and put this in the garbage can outside, will you?"

"Uh….."

"Paul, it's a diaper, not toxic waste, and the can is right outside the door. Jesus Christ."

Paul reluctantly took the bag, holding his nose as he went outside.

"Only person I know that makes a federal case out of taking out a dirty diaper," Brian sighed, handing Brett back to his mother. "Lord help us all the day he has his own spawn."


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

_Six months later:_

Brian had to go overseas again, but he didn't feel comfortable leaving Briana and the twins alone, so he asked Paul if he could either stay over or at least check in on the three of them from time to time.

Paul jumped at the chance; despite not being enthusiastic about the whole baby deal when the twins had first been born (and Brett's subsequent bout with colic, which he had eventually come out of it), now that they were crawling and doing more "fun" things, he couldn't get enough of them.

Briana had shook her head in amusement; between their father and godfather spoiling them, she knew she would have more on her hands with Paul being around the kids. It would take forever to settle them down at night once he'd gotten hold of them for awhile.

On the fourth day he had been gone, Brian had called in. "How's life back home?" he asked.

"Between trying to keep tiny fingers out of things and their godfather's nightly regimen of snoring and farting all night long that I can hear in the next room, it's been quite interesting."

"Yeah, my fault on that one. I should have given you the heads up that Paul snores like a bear and his ass sounds like a French horn."

"I don't know how these kids can sleep through all of that. They certainly didn't get their sleeping patterns from you."

"Hell no; someone has to just look at me and I wake up."

"How well I know. In my case, you also have a case of Roman hands and Russian fingers too."

"You haven't complained yet. So how are those little towheaded monsters of ours?"

"Pretty good. It's rather nice not to hear Brett scream bloody murder into the wee hours anymore."

"Jesus Christ, you aren't kidding. I thought that kid would never get over that shit. And Ma yells about being in labor thirty-six hours with _me? _She should have had Brett for about a week. Now there was pure hell."

Something caught the corner of Briana's eye; it had been Paul holding a laughing Bella in mid air."

"Paul, put her down!" she cried. "Are you insane?"

"What? We're playing airplane. She loves it."

"What the fuck is that beaner doing with our daughter?" Brian asked. "One scratch on that kid and he dies a quick and painful death."

"Put her down," Briana repeated. "Or you will have her angry father chopping you in a hundred pieces when he gets back here."

Paul grabbed the phone, Bella still in one arm. "This coming from a dude who has to be reminded to smoke outside," he said in the phone.

"Don't be using my kids for airplanes," Brian replied. "They're _babies_, El Dumbass, not your personal toys."

"Did you know your wife talks in her sleep?" Paul asked with a goofy grin.

"You snore and fart in yours, your point?"

"I do not snore."

"Like hell. I'm going to have Bree tape you one night before I come home. Put her back on and play with those kids the right way."

"It's like having a _third_ kid here," Briana said when she took the phone back.

"Yeah, dude needs to get cleared so he can get back to work," Brian answered. "I think he's bored more than anything else, and you know how he drives people nuts when he's bored."

"True. Anyway, since you're not going to be here for your birthday, I thought we'd do something when you got back."

"Do I _really _need a reminder that I'm getting old?" Brian groaned.

"Come on, Paul volunteered to barbecue and Nadine's getting a cake. Be a sport. And this will be your first one with the twins. It's going to be fun."

"Hmmm, when I think about it, it will be kind of fun to see them doing something like this, especially with cake on their face."

"One crumb of that on them, mister, and you get bath duty for _both_ of them," Briana warned laughingly.

"I've already done shitty diaper duty," Brian laughed back. "Giving them baths would be the lesser of two evils. But listen, they're yelling for me, so I have to get off of here. _Ti amo."_

"_Ti amo," _Briana said back before hanging up and going back to the chaos in the living room.

_The next evening:_

Briana had been putting down the twins for the night and Paul was fooling around on the computer. He had been instant messaging a few friends, and then Brian for a short period of time.

"Hey Bree," he called out. "You got to see this!"

"Will you keep it down?" Briana said. "The twins just went to sleep and I'd like to keep them that way."

"Sorry," Paul replied. "But I got to show you something. Your husband's tearing someone a new one again."

"So what else is new?" Briana managed a chuckle.

"Yeah, but this you have to see."

"Fine." She sat down beside him. "Excite me."

"Actually, that's _Brian's_ job," Paul joked. "Read this, though."

_Dear 24 Hour Fitness,_

_As I write this, I'm sitting in my hotel room (Marriott on 5th to be exact), with NO workout facility to go to. If I get fat, I blame it on you… and your mom, just for future reference._

_One question, Bill, how is it you own a gym yet still weigh so much? Do you use your equipment, sir? Or do you think you too would break a treadmill and not be allowed back in the building?_

_I'll keep it short and sweet. I hope you choke and die. I now have to go to Nelson's, and it smells like fried ass juice in there. Thank you, fuckhead._

_Sincerely, _

_Brian David Kendrick_

_World Wrestling Entertainment_

Briana couldn't help but break out laughing. "What on earth brought this on?"

"Your husband broke a treadmill and they banned him from there," Paul replied. "To put it mildly, he was a little pissed. Don't know why; he works out and then ends up going to Wendy's or wherever anyway."

"It's only the third place he's been banned from," Briana said. "First there was the bowling alley after we were engaged, then the toy store where the two of you made total asses out of yourselves jumping on the store display trampoline, and now this."

"Face it," Paul grinned, "the guy is just a walking destruction machine. I should show you sometime the letter he wrote to a traffic court. This thing is mild compared to _that."_


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

When Brian came home the following week, he had no idea what was happening. His birthday had already passed without incident, and there hadn't been any more mention from Briana about doing anything for ir. Not that he cared; it was just another day.

Brian unlocked the door and as the lights were turned on, Paul, Nadine, and Tina, along with some other friends, popped out of their hiding places.

"SURPRISE!" they yelled. "Happy birthday!"

Brian glared at the person he knew must have been responsible for this impromptu party. "Dude, my birthday was four days ago," he said to Paul.

"Stop glaring at me," Paul replied "It was your _wife's _idea."

"Jesus, Bree, I told you not to do anything."

"Too bad," Briana smiled, holding Bella in her arms while Brett peered out of the playpen, both smiling. "Some little ones and I thought Papa should have a party anyway."

"We all pitched in," Nadine added. "Don't you like your surprise?"

"It was very sweet of you," Brian said. "I just don't need anything fancy to remind me I'm getting older."

"Spanky," Paul said. "It's free food. You should enjoy yourself."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Brian answered, patting his best friend on the back. "Whatever you're cooking out there, Pedro, it's smelling mighty tempting."

He deposited his bags at the front door and then headed toward his favorite chair, which Paul had already parked himself.

"So, how does it feel to be a year older?" Paul asked teasingly.

"Same as last year. By the way, that's my chair where your fat ass is sitting."

"No fair, man," Paul whined. "You just walked in here while I've been busting ass with cooking. And this chair is comfy."

"It's my birthday party in my house, and that's my chair," Brian replied sticking out his tongue at him. "What are you going to do about it?"

They then lunged at each other, Brian eventually getting to his feet once Paul plopped into the chair once again. Brian's initial glare then turned to an evil smirk.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Paul asked suspiciously.

Brian simply plopped into his lap, grinning. "You won't let me have my chair back, so share with the birthday boy."

"Get off of me, you fucking pervert!" Paul demanded, pushing him.

Brian laughed, putting his arms firmly around his best friend.

"Bree! Get this insane husband of yours off of me!"

"If you two start making out, we're going to be asking a _lot_ of questions," Tina commented.

He laughed again, this time planting a big wet kiss on Paul. "What, no kiss back for the birthday boy?" Brian teased.

"**BRIAN, GET THE FUCK OFF!" **Paul yelled, dislodging Brian, who fell onto the floor.

Brian howled with laughter while Paul used his shirt to wipe his own mouth quickly.

"I'm going back out to check the food after I disinfect myself," Paul said with a tone of disgust.

"Seriously, you have issues, Brian," Briana said, chuckling.

"He's an easy target," Brian grinned from his spot on the floor. "And I needed to do something to liven this party up."

"How do you put up with this man again?" Tina asked Briana.

"It's not easy," she replied, "but if nothing else, he's a great father and an excellent source of entertainment."

_Later:_

Paul had prepared a huge barbecue, which everyone had scarfed down with enthusiasm. While they had been eating, Paul had looked down sympathetically at the twins in their playpen.

"You poor little angels," he said. "We get all this good stuff while Mama stuck you with strained beef, a bottle of milk, and mushed up peas. Where's the justice here?"

"They're not old enough for solid food yet," Nadine reminded him.

"Don't listen to her," Paul muttered. "If you two are good and keep it a secret, I'll slip you some cake in a few."

"Dude, what are you doing to those kids?" Brian asked.

"Nothing."

"Right. Don't be sneaking them table food. They're babies, not family pets."

"Here we are!" Briana announced, bringing out an elaborate ice cream cake, complete with candles. She then kissed Brian. "Happy birthday, lover boy. Now make a wish."

"I think I already got it," he said with a dreamy smile before blowing out the candles.

"Wow, I knew Spanky was full of wind, but I never thought he was that good," Paul commented laughingly.

Everyone settled into eating their share of cake; Paul slipping ice cream portions of it to each twin.

"You should get this stuff more often," he smiled down at them, passing another spoonful of ice cream.

"Paul, what are you doing?" Briana asked, catching him in the act of feeding a small amount of ice cream to Brett.

"It's only a little bit of ice cream," he replied. "They love it. And since Papa won't share, I did."

She sighed. "If either of them gets sick, I'm sending them over to _you."_

Brian let out a loud belch, causing a few to jump. Nadine and Tina both made a face at him.

"What?" he asked. "Better out than in, right?"

"Jesus, Brian," Briana said, scowling. "You just burped in front of company. Have you no shame?"

"Nope," he replied, going back to his cake.

"Be thankful that didn't come from the _other _end," Paul replied.

"Shut up," Brian grunted, sticking his tongue out "And quit giving stuff to the babies or every shitty diaper they do is coming to your front door."

"That's it, kids," Paul said to the twins. "Birthday Papa has spoken."

_That night:_

"Finally, the nuts are gone and I can finally get into my bed," Brian groaned as he lay down on his side of the bed. It had been a long day and he was exhausted.

Briana had came back from the nursery, baby monitor in hand. "Poor man," she smiled softly at him. "For what it's worth, the twins are finally asleep."

"Good," he said smiling. "Hopefully there won't be any disasters tonight after Paul slipped them birthday cake."

"Doubtful," Briana said. "So far, there haven't been any effects."

"Thank God," Brian groaned softly. He wanted nothing more than to snuggle under the covers and go to sleep. "All I know it's nice to be back in a familiar bed for a few days."

_Well, at least he won't be wandering his hands all over me tonight, _Briana thought with a soft chuckle as she watched Brian drift off. She soon followed, all of them sleeping through the night. It had perhaps been his best birthday yet.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

_A few months later:_

"You guys are getting pretty big almost overnight," Brian chattered to the twins. "Now I know neither of you old enough to eventually remember this day, but you are about to witness, for the very first time, your papa in action by hearing my voice and seeing me wrestle right out there in that ring. It's not often you two and Mama come along on a trip, so consider this the luckiest day of your lives."

Both twins looked up at him, smiling, Bella attempting to pull herself up. _We don't know what you're saying, Dad, but we'll laugh in case it's supposed to be funny_.

"And what are you two smiling about?" he chuckled down at them just as Briana had come into the room

"Brian, save your promos for the _real _audience," she teased.

"What, I can't practice on the kids?" he teased back. "By the way, I think Bella's trying to stand up."

"Already?" Briana was shocked.

"What do you mean 'already'? They're almost a year old; it's only a matter of time before she and Brett start having foot races."

"Yeah, it seems just yesterday they were just born," Briana answered, watching both now crawling around to explore their new surroundings. "Now it won't be long before we start toilet training them."

"Whoa, let's just concentrate on the present," Brian said, "besides, that part won't be for at least another year."

"Well, at the present time, could you keep an eye on them for a little while longer?"

"Sure, I don't get much time with the sprouts as it is, so every opportunity is great. Where are you headed anyway?"

"A couple of the other wives wanted to grab a quick dinner before the show and invited me along."

"Making friends already, huh?" Brian grinned with pride.

"I guess so," she smiled back. "Want me to bring you anything?"

"Nah, I can grab something later. Not a good idea to do a match on a full stomach."

"All right, but be sure to drink a lot of water. It's hot tonight," she cautioned before getting ready to leave.

"Right, and don't worry, I have someone that will watch the twins during my match if you aren't back in time."

"Good." Briana playfully pinched his ass. "See you later, stud," she giggled.

_Later:_

Brian had lost to Sheamus, but it was already being praised as one of the night's best matches. He had come back into the room to shower and change, one of the security people had smiled at him, Bella in her lap.

"How were the kids?" Brian asked, dropping his jacket carelessly on a sofa.

"Pretty good," the woman said. "I never sat with twins before. "They were actually pretty quiet."

Bella had begun to fuss, and was placed on the floor, where she began to crawl away. "Oh," the woman continued, "both have had their bottles and I've also changed them. You should be good for awhile."

Brian nodded appreciatively. "Thanks again, Karen."

"Sure, hit me up any time. Your wife should be back in about twenty minutes."

Great. It would give him enough time to shower and dress in his street clothes.

"All right, guys," Brian said, picking up Brett and setting him in the playpen. "I know you guys aren't crazy about this thing, but I have no other option until Mama's back."

Brett scowled from his new position as Brian picked up Bella and placed her in. "I promise it will only be a few minutes," he smiled down at them, positioning the playpen in front of the bathroom.

Brian finished his shower about ten minutes later, dressing in jeans and the shirt Briana had gotten him for his birthday. He then took the twins out of the playpen, letting them free to crawl, and at times, Bella trying to pull herself up on the sofa.

He had thought nothing more of it, making a couple of calls and just finishing up his business when Briana returned.

"Hey, beautiful," he grinned. "I thought you forgot about us."

"Never," she said, giving a quick kiss.

"How was your night out?"

"Perfect. Were the twins all right?"

"You kidding? I think half the roster is in love with them."

Briana looked around, spying only Brett. "Brian, where's Bella?"

"Huh?"

"Bella. Your daughter."

"I know who she is, Bree, and she was just here a couple of minutes ago."

"Well, she's gone now!"

"Don't panic; the door's closed and the kid couldn't have gone too far. Hold Brett while I look for her."

Nadine had popped into the room. "Close the door, quick!" Briana gasped.

"Why, what's the matter?"

"Bella's missing."

"What! Where could she have gone? She isn't even walking yet."

"Somewhere in this room, I'm telling you, " Brian said, looking behind a chair. "Come on, Princess, not the time to go into hiding. Mama's having a stroke here."

Briana joined the search, trying to hide her panic while clutching Brett at the same time. "Bella? Where are you, honey?"

Nadine spotted something on the couch. "Uh….guys?"

"Nadine, not now, please," Briana said.

"Seriously, you have to see this," Nadine pressed.

"Seriously, not now," Brian replied. "Jesus, how hard can it be to find a baby in here."

"You tell me," Briana answered. "You're the one that lost her."

"Guys," Nadine cut in again.

"For the love of Christ, what is it?" Brian asked, annoyed.

"Your jacket is moving," Nadine replied, pointing to it.

"Very funny, Nadine. You've been hanging with Paul too long."

"I'm serious, you two. Look."

Brian rolled his eyes, going to lift the jacket, to find Bella staring back at him.

"Hey, shorty!" he said, relieved, scooping her up. "There you are! See? I knew you couldn't have gone too far. You got Mama all upset for nothing."

Bella laughed, patting his face, as Briana sighed with relief.

"I'm glad you think that was funny, kid," Brian grinned back at her. "But you better not pull that too often. Your mama and I aren't getting any younger, you know."


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

"I am never taking you to church again," Briana said the following weekend. "My God, Brian, I think the twins behaved better than you did."

"That's the idea. I didn't want to go in the first place. I hated fucking churches from the time I was a kid and Ma roped me into being an altar boy. I'm agnostic; what do you expect? My mom's a strict Catholic, so we had this rule that the first person to reach for the food had to say grace, which I always forgot. Then every Easter Sunday, we were up at five in the fucking morning for Mass, and now you're dragging me to shit like confirmations and christenings, where I had to comb my hair and wear shoes and a BUTTON UP SHIRT, _tucked in. _Holy hell, woman."

"Still, do you always have to be obnoxious? It's not like I'm making you go to something like that every week."

"What? I just sat in the back and do what I did when I was eight... fart and throw paper airplanes made out of the note-taking paper at the priest."

"You're hopeless," Briana shook her head.

"And what's this bullshit of making people shake hands with those around us? How do we know they don't have some kind of disease? I just high-fived them all, like 'Wassup?' then Ma smacked me for that and cursing in church."

"As she rightfully should have. Be grateful it was she who did and not me. We were at a confirmation, not a basketball game."

"Then we got our cheap 'Christ's blood'. What's with that? Why not just give me the bottle and I could have probably sat through the whole two hours of that shit? I hate churches."

"Yes, I have figured that out by now. Pick your jacket up off the floor; you weren't raised in a barn. And where is Bella again?"

Brian picked up the suit jacket, finding the baby under it. "Why do I get the feeling this kid likes my clothes?" He picked up Bella and began to tickle her gently.

"She probably crawled under it because you tossed it on the floor," Briana replied. "And speaking of which, you may want to be careful where you put things down from now on. She and Brett are at the stage where they're putting things in their mouths."

"Really? I should teach them how to put Cocoa Puffs up their noses when they're old enough."

"Don't you dare, Brian David. We'll probably see enough of the inside of an emergency room in the coming years without you contributing to it."

"Yeah, hearing Brett scream bloody murder from his ear infection a few months ago wasn't much fun, come to think of it. If we can avoid doctors, so much the better." He set Bella in her swing. "Anyway, what's for dinner?"

"Brian, we just ate at the confirmation luncheon two hours ago."

"I'm hungry again."

Briana sighed. "Then just order something or get leftovers from the fridge. Good lord, some days I wonder if I have _three_ children instead of two."

"I may do that, but first, Brett needs a change." Brian picked up his son. "Someone is a stinky boy. And while I'm back there, I think I'll strip too."

"Oh God," Briana groaned.

"I'm just putting on some jeans, relax." He took Brett back for his diaper change.

Briana sighed, sitting down by Bella's swing. "Sometimes I have to wonder about your father, little girl," she said.

Bella grinned at her, letting out a tiny burp.

"Then again, I think you and Brett have most of his qualities," she managed to laugh. "You're even both blond and look the most like him. Not that that is a bad thing, of course."

Brian began to sing from the next room, causing Briana to cringe. "Good grief," she said, "only your dad would be singing while changing a diaper."

"Hey, yo, there's a time and place for that over there!" she heard him call out, following a sound of knocking.

Brian emerged a few minutes later, shirtless and in jeans, depositing Brett on Briana's lap. "Got to go make a waste dump," he informed her, holding up a bag that had contained Brett's loaded diaper.

"What was that all about?" Briana asked.

"What?"

"You yelling a few minutes ago."

"Oh, the freaks that moved in next door. They must be screwing again. If I didn't know any better, I'd thought it was Paul with one of his parade of dates. In any case, the last thing I need to hear while I'm changing a kid is my neighbors fucking. Jesus."

"Well, we have thought about getting another place, haven't we?"

"Yeah, and we've put it off. I think it's time to start hunting, don't you think?"

"I agree, especially now that the twins are getting older. Maybe somewhere where they can eventually play in a yard or something."

"Oooh, baby, I love how you think," Brian grinned. "I may even forgive you for dragging me to church."

"Good. I'm going to go down and get one of those home guides," Briana offered. "Think you can stay with these two for a few minutes without losing one of them again?"

"Ha, ha, very funny, Bree," he replied. "But yeah, I can stay here. I'm going to order something to eat and get their bottles anyway."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll be back in a few and we can get to work house hunting."


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

_First stop, later that week:_

"Don't even think about this place, Brian," Briana said

"Why not? It's in our range, three bedrooms, has a yard, and was just remodeled."

"It's also by a highway. The kids could either run out there and get hurt or some nut job could come along and grab them."

"Kids get grabbed everywhere."

"Oh, that's a nice rationalization. That kitchen is also horrible. I am not moving to a place with a green kitchen and appliances that were a fine color scheme in the _sixties."_

"We're not going to live in the kitchen."

"We're not going to live here, _period."_

"Christ. You've been a pain in the ass all week with this hunting for a new place thing. I'd been better off trying to get on house show cards."

"What you've been taking us to, maybe so. Good God."

"Say it, Bree; I have no taste."

"You said it, I didn't."

"Let's just go to the next one that was circled."

_Second stop:_

"Are you fucking _nuts?" _Brian asked.

"It's perfect. It's the right size and the neighborhood is really nice."

"Yeah, if you're rolling in cash. Did you see the asking price? Jesus Christ, Bree, I'm not Donald Trump."

"You mean to tell me you wouldn't put out a few extra dollars to have your own children in a safe neighborhood in a beautiful place?"

"A few dollars? Try a _few hundred thousand_."

"God, you are so cheap," she snorted.

"It's me being 'cheap' that makes us live as well as we do. Now, let's go look at the next place."

_Third stop:_

"Oh no, there is no way on God's green earth I am moving in here unless they take that carpet out," Briana protested.

Brian rolled his eyes. "And what wrong with the carpet?"

"_Mustard yellow? _Enough said, Brian. Not exactly an ideal color to go with our furniture and for kids to make a mess on."

"But check out this kitchen!" he said enthusiastically. "It even has one of those dumb waiter things that will send food upstairs to our room at the push of a button!"

"Brian, you go to a gym. You jog. You wrestle 300 days a year. Do you mean to tell me you're too lazy to carry your own food upstairs for a bedtime snack?"

"Well, we can use it to send the dirty diapers down here to be thrown away."

Briana gave him look. "Please say you're joking."

He then went to inspect the back room, flushing the toilet in the bathroom. "On second thought, you're right; we should pass on this one. The bathroom ceiling has stains on it and the toilet leaks."

"_You used the toilet?"_

"I had to piss. Sue me."

"Let's go, Brian. We have one more place to see."

_Fourth stop:_

"Bree…."

"Brian…"

"**I THINK WE FOUND IT!" **they chorused together.

"Yeah?" he grinned. "You like it?"

"I totally love it."

"Me too. It's fucking perfect. Right price, plenty of rooms, and did you see that basement? Jesus, I could make a 'guys room' for me _and _a playroom for the twins down there. Shit, we could hold _dances_ down there, it's so damn big."

"And the neighborhood is nothing to sneeze at either. Plus the yard is huge and you could even bring both of your cars here. That garage is fantastic!"

"No leaky toilet either," Brian joked.

"Good grief, you used it here too?"

"Had to drop a few friends off at the pool," he winked.

"So how soon can we put in an offer on this place?"

"Right now. Looks like we're the only ones interested."

"Kind of a shame," Briana said. "It's such a cute place."

"Beats the hell out of where we are now with the kids getting bigger and a nightly sex show next door," Brian agreed.

"Want to go look at furniture?" Briana smiled.

"Whoa, let's not put the cart before the horse. Wait until we actually have this place first."

"I didn't say we had to _buy_ it, just to get some ideas."

"Right. Any time I went with you 'for ideas', we ended up dropping a few thousand. Seriously, let's wait for an answer on this place before going totally nuts. Besides, it's already been a week of hell looking for a new place; I'm not about to go through more looking at furniture. Cut a man a break."

Briana just laughed. "All right, I will admit I haven't been an easy person this week. How about a nice dinner at home?"

"I'll do better than that. Let's go to that pasta place down the road in which I hope will soon be our new neighborhood."

She beamed. "You're on!"


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

_A month later:_

"You know, the nice thing about these cribs is that they can change into junior beds when the twins get older," Brian said as he assembled the twins' cribs in their rooms at the new house. "One less thing we'll have to worry about for awhile."

"Until they go to high school," Briana smiled. "It was generous of Nadine to watch them for us while we got things moved in."

"Yeah, and it would have been done a lot faster if El Senor out there spent less time goofing off and flirting with the girls across the street and more time actually working. Jesus, I thought Mexicans were hard workers? Leave it to me to score a lazy one."

"Maybe because he's only _half_ Mexican," Briana said.

Brian nodded. "And half lazy asshole." He then yelled out the window. "Hey, Paul! Get the lead out! The rest of that shit isn't going to move itself in here!"

"Then get your pale white ass down here and help," Paul yelled back.

"Go," Briana nodded. "I can finish up here putting things together. The cribs are done anyway."

"Okay, then. We'll be putting shit in the living room."

Briana continued decorating the twins's rooms, partially listening to the banter downstairs.

"Can't get this couch in myself, dopefuck," she heard Brian say at one point.

"Not my fault you were too cheap to hire movers," Paul replied, followed by the two of them cursing back and forth as they put it in the desired spot.

_I can attest to the cheap part, _Briana thought, amused.

After about another half an hour of heckling, cussing, and arguing, everything was finally in the new house. It was just now the duty of unpacking.

"Let's take a break for awhile," Briana offered. "I have the upstairs finished, so we can all pick up down here afterward."

Paul picked up a box labeled BATHROOM. "Sure, just order us something while we put this stuff in the john." He then opened the box, handing contents to Brian while Briana called out for pizza and sodas.

"Yo," Brian called out. "More stuff."

Paul had been staring at something a few moments, something with a white case. "Hey, man, what is this?" he asked.

Briana spied the item in his hand. "Give me that!" she cried, snatching away her diaphragm.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Brian asked.

"Someone had interest in my diaphragm," Briana rolled her eyes.

"I didn't know what the hell that thing was. I thought it some weird shit that belonged to the kids."

"Actually, it's _keeping us from having more, _at least right away," Briana replied. "Can we get back to work before lunch arrives?"

"Remind me to go through your bathroom shit the next time we're at your place," Brian added, taking the rest of the box's contents.

"I need to check in on Nadine to see how the twins are doing," Briana said, just as a phone rang.

"Dude," Paul announced to Brian. "Your ass is ringing."

"I noticed." He pulled out the phone. "Looks like you won't have to call Nadine," he said, spotting the Caller ID. "What's up?" he asked when taking the call.

"Oh God, Brian!" Nadine said.

"What is it? Is it one of the kids?"

"No, they're fine, but it's a good thing you got everything out of your place. You better tell Paul to get back here, though. The building is on fire!"


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

They had all rushed back after Nadine's frantic phone call, but by the time they had gotten through the rush hour traffic and arrived, the fire had been out.

"What the hell started this?" Paul asked, both annoyed and anxious.

"The dryer in someone's apartment, from what I was told," Nadine answered, trying to calm two fussy twins. Briana reached out, taking Bella and trying to quiet her.

"It's all right, sprouts," Brian said, taking Brett. "Mama and Papa are here."

"Poor kiddos," Briana said, "all this noise probably scared them."

"It scared the hell out of _me_ too," Nadine said. "All it took was me seeing smoke and I grabbed these two and booked it out of there."

"You left my place to burn down?" Paul asked.

"It was either that or dead kids. Guess who won that choice?" Nadine looked the now-calm twins over. "Should we have them checked to make sure they didn't inhale any smoke on the way out here?"

"I'm sure they're both fine," Briana answered, "but it certainly wouldn't hurt for someone to have a look."

They went over to a group of EMT's that had been treating a few of the other residents. Two had taken the twins and looked them over thoroughly, assuring Briana that they appeared to be fine. "Call their doctor to make sure," one added.

Nadine looked at Paul. "You can crash at my place tonight and we can figure something out for you," she offered.

"Thanks. Let's see if I can salvage any of my shit in the meantime," he replied gratefully.

_Several hours later:_

"Oh this is bullshit," Paul grunted, going through items in the gutted apartment. "If I find out which fucker had that faulty dryer, I'm going on the kill."

"Be thankful you weren't here or you'd been toast…_literally," _Nadine said. "Besides, the apartments up here aren't as bad as those downstairs."

"Are you shitting me? This place is a goner. What the fire didn't do, the firemen did."

"Well, it looks like some of your stuff may have been spared. There's quite a few things here a trip to the Laundromat won't cure," Brian said, taking out several clothes. "Unfortunately for you, your porn collection is dust."

"Go ahead, ass wipe, rub it in. My porn collection, Batman stuff, my comic collection, most of my action figures. This fucking sucks. Some of that shit can't even be replaced. But I will say one thing."

"What?" Briana asked.

"I just thank God, Jesus, Mary and Joseph that Nadine and those little ones got the hell out of here. Now those thing could _never_ be replaced."

_Several weeks later:_

After temporarily residing in Brian's basement for the last several weeks, Paul finally found another place to live. Luckily, he hadn't been around much, so he hadn't really driven them nuts very much, and he had been able to replace most of the things lost in the fire in the process.

"We should have a party for him," Briana offered, "preferably on a night when you're home."

"That's a good idea," Brian grinned. "I needed an idea to thank him for helping me set up the basement anyway. How about a dinner at his new place?"

Briana thought a moment. "I like it. You can make that broccoli and beef pasta stuff he's crazy about and I can do the chili receipe I stole from him."

"Does he even _know_ you have that thing?" Brian laughed.

"No, and I certainly can't make it for too many people without burning holes in their stomachs."

"Or have flames coming out of their asses," Brian added. "But yeah, this will be great. Any plans for tomorrow?"

"No, why?" Briana wondered.

"Dude's going to need more stuff for his new digs," Brian replied. "I'm going to need a woman's opinion what to pick out."

"Nadine has to work tomorrow, so we're going to have to bring the kids too."

"So much the better. They don't get out with us too often anyway. We can make it a family project."

"Brian, they're sixteen months. What will they know?" Briana couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Still, they need somewhat of a normal life. I think I've been sheltering them too much."

"Your character is a cocky type without a family," she reminded him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "but this is the _real_ me, and he's a much better guy, don't you think?"

"I certainly won't argue with that. Come on, let's get started on some ideas."

_The next day:_

"I don't know what was more of a bigger challenge," Brian sighed, exhausted, when they arrived back home with several packages and bags, "working on picking something out for Paul or keeping two sets of little fingers out of every other thing."

"Now you know what I deal with on a daily basis," Briana smiled, starting to unpack the parcels. "If we hadn't kept them in the cart, they've been running all over the place and we'd never found them."

"Yeah, more of a handful since they started walking, huh?"

"Wait until they're teenagers."

"Oh God, Bree, do not remind me. That moment in our lives where they will put us through adolescent hell will be here soon enough. Better to enjoy them now while they're still babies."

Briana studied an item taken from one of the bags. "You got a really good deal on this juicer," she said. "I think Paul will totally love this."

Brian nodded. "He's always into the kitchen shit. And he has the balls to say I'm like a woman sometimes? Jesus."

"You are," she giggled. "Sometimes you're more anal retentive about things than I am."

"So how many do we have on the guest list so far?"

"Fifteen," Briana replied. "And Tina's husband volunteered to cook out."

"Works for me. This is coming together pretty good so far."

"Question now is how are we going to get Paul out of the way until everything's set up?"

Brian winked. "I have that covered. I've made him an offer that he did indeed couldn't and didn't refuse."

Briana shook her head and smiled. "I'm not even going to ask."


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

_Two weeks later:_

"Kind of nice to invite me over for a Batman movie marathon, man," Paul said. "I mean, I'm settled in the new place, but it's always nice to get out once in awhile."

"So you're digging the new place?" Brian asked, popping in the first movie.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. I guess whoever said things happen for a reason was right on the money. Except there's one thing."

"What?"

"I kind of keep forgetting about the breezeway in there," Paul replied. "Anyway, I'd just come out of the shower one day and had forgotten to pull down the blinds before I went in.. Long story short, the old lady and her daughter across the breezeway got a show."

Brian broke out laughing. "Oh man, and to think I missed that!"

"Come on, dude, that wasn't funny. Even Nadine hasn't seen me in the raw."

"You and Nadine are just good friends," Brian pointed out. "Besides, she probably thinks the same I do; seen one dick, seen them all. And Lord knows I've seen that thing of yours more than I care to mention, but hey, nice to know you made a lasting impression on one of your neighbors."

"Shut up." Paul blew a raspberry. "Anyway, how many of these movies did you get?"

_Enough to keep you here while the party gets in place, _Brian thought before grinning. "All of them."

"Jesus, we'll be here until at least seven in that case."

_That's the idea. _"Hey, what better way for me to break in my new 'guys' room' than with my best buddy?"

"Bree won't mind being stuck with the kids all day?"

"She's usually stuck with them all week when I'm gone, I don't think today is going to make much of a difference. Now, let's watch this movie."

_Meanwhile:_

"All right, we have until seven," Briana announced, arranging various items for the party, "so we need to really boogie on this thing."

"Pete's going to be here to fire up the grill at six," Tina replied. "Where are you putting gifts?"

"On that corner table. Nobody will be using it anyway."

"Sounds good."

"This is going to be so awesome," Nadine said, putting out plates of food on another table. "And to think he has no idea what's going to be happening."

"Brian made sure of that," Briana nodded, putting the casserole her husband had made into the oven before checking on the chili. "He has Paul thinking that they're having a movie day together and then coming over to see this place now that Paul has it together."

"He isn't called 'a man with a plan' for nothing," Tina cracked. "Hey, where are the twins?"

"I have them in the back taking a nap," Briana answered. "It's going to be a long day for all of us and some sleep for them wouldn't hurt."

"They've gotten so big," Tina said. "One minute, you're bringing them home from the hospital, and the next, they're walking."

"It's enough keeping up with one baby," Nadine chuckled. "Poor Bree here has to chase after _two_ of them."

"The joy of fertility drugs," Briana nodded, laughing. "But you know, it was worth all of that to have them."

"Planning on any more?" Tina wondered, setting up a few extra chairs.

"Papa's original plan was only two," Briana replied, "and I filled that order with one pregnancy. If there is going to be any more, it won't be right away. And I've been off the fertility treatments since I got pregnant with those two, but I have a diaphragm, just in case."

"Nothing like covering all your bases," Tina said. "So when are you going to have one, Nadine?"

"Not right away, obviously," Nadine answered. "I need to find the right partner first."

"Artificial insemination," Tina joked. "The joy of motherhood without the headache of a man underfoot."

"Tina!" Briana exclaimed. "That's terrible."

"Hey, don't think Pete and I haven't considered it."

Briana was stunned. "You mean you guys are…."

Tina nodded. "It's time and neither of us are getting any younger. My appointment is Monday."

"Tina, that's wonderful!" Nadine gasped, delighted.

"It's going to cost a hunk of money, but Pete is willing to sacrifice some of his 401K," Tina continued. "Let's just hope that it will be money well spent."

"I have a feeling that it will be," Briana smiled. "And speaking of money well spent, I have a feeling the man of _this_ domain is going to enjoy himself tonight. Not to toot our own horns, but I'd say we did a mighty fine job."

_That evening:_

"Dude, you are going to love this place!" Paul said excitedly as Brian drove toward the apartment.

"Paul, I've been there before, remember? It's great, I know."

"Yeah, but you haven't been there since I unpacked all my shit and bought new furniture with the renter insurance check I got from the fire."

"You got new furniture? Awesome."

"Yeah, wasn't too thrilled with the idea of going to secondhand places. It's okay for some stuff, but I'm afraid of getting some weird bugs from furniture. Hey, did I tell you Nadine screamed when she first saw the frogs?"

"Frogs?"

"I got two new ones. Nadine walked into the one room while helping me unpack and let out this blood curdling scream before she realized what they were. It was funny as fuck."

"You are one strange dude, PL," Brian laughed, parking the car. "Come on, let's go check out your new palace."

They took an elevator up to Paul's floor before going to his unit. Paul unlocked the door and went in ahead of Brian.

As soon as the lights were turned on, the rest of the group popped out of their hiding places. "SURPRISE! HAPPY NEW HOME!" they all cheered.

"Wow, you all did this shit for me?" Paul grinned widely. "Damn, Spanky, I should have known you were up to something. You got me again."

"We even brought your favorite beer," Brian joked. "What better way to get you really settled in your new castle?"

"Thanks, guys, this is really cool," Paul said before sniffing something. "Is that chili?"

"It is," Briana nodded. "And Pete is doing the barbecue on the patio."

"He's lucky he's from Texas or I'd have to make him get off that thing," Paul nodded.

"Dude, you're doing nothing," Brian said. "This is _your _party, so enjoy yourself."

When dinner was finally served, everyone dug in, sampling every delicacy that had been laid out. Soon, foam plates had been emptied and all were filled and satisfied. Nadine had brought her video camera and taped the festivities.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to explode," Paul said, lying back on his new couch with his hand on his stomach and his arm thrown over his eyes before he let out a loud belch.

"Fucking hell, Paul," Brian laughed. "And the rest of these people have the balls to talk about _me _doing shit like that."

"Compliments to the chefs," Paul replied. "Thank you all for a wonderful feast. I still want to know where Bree got that chili recipe, though."

"She just worked some kind of magic," Brian grinned knowingly. "But don't die on us yet; you still have your gifts to open."

"I have gifts? Wow, you guys really went all out."

"Yep," Brian replied, tossing the first one at him. "And here's the first one. Get busy."

Paul tore through all the presents, grinning at each gift. Everyone sat around after talking and having drinks before something caught his ear.

"Nadine!" he yelled. "You got to get this on the camera!"

Brian and Briana turned toward what had caught Paul's attention. "What?"

"I think your daughter just said something."

Bella caught sight of him and smiled up at him before chirping, "Papa!"

"Uh, no kid, that's the funny looking short guy over there," Paul said.

"Oh how cute!" Nadine said, filming the whole thing. "She said 'Papa'!"

"Wow." Brian had a dreamy look on his face. "Papa."

Briana frowned a little. "Yeah. As much time as these two spend with me, Bella's first word would have to be 'Papa'." She shook her head.

"She's Papa's girl," Brian said, smirking.

"You know, I got all these cool gifts," Paul spoke up, "but I think that kid starting to talk is the best one yet."


	60. Chapter 60 CONCLUSION

**Chapter 60 - CONCLUSION**

_A few months later:_

Brian had been scheduled to wrestle that night on Raw; as the usual tradition, Briana and Nadine usually tuned in with the twins. They would be joining him the following weekend for a house show.

Brett too had begun to talk and though the two blond toddlers weren't speaking full sentences, they could be chatty.

When he had come on the screen, Bella had waddled over to the TV and put her hands on the screen. "Papa," she chirped.

"Papa!" Brett echoed.

"Yes, sweethearts, that's your papa," Briana replied, moving Bella back from the screen. "But you'll enjoy him more back here."

"At least now they know who their papa is," Nadine chuckled, recalling Bella's first outburst at Paul at the housewarming party.

Briana couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, I don't think Paul would have twins with blond hair, fair skin, and blue eyes, unless the mother was that way."

"They look more like their dad every day," Nadine said, studying Brett. "especially this one. He even has Brian's eyes, while Bella has yours."

"Bella also has her dad's curious and energy streaks," Briana added. "I think she's going to be my handful."

"She may follow in Papa's footsteps to the ring."

"Oh God, no," Briana answered. "One of those in this family is enough to worry about." She then gestured at the screen. "Looks like he was on the losing end of this one too."

"I just hope they're not going to make this a comedy program," Nadine said. "He deserves so much better than that."

"Yeah, you aren't kidding. Poor guy doesn't even know what they're doing with him until practically the last minute, but at least this is getting him TV time and not counting tiles backstage."

"Papa!" Bella cried, pointing at the screen with a huge smile.

They looked and saw a new promo being aired. "One thing about Papa, if nothing else, he makes good promos," Briana said.

"And I think this one just peed with excitement," Nadine laughed, indicating Brett and offering to change him.

"Thanks," Briana nodded. "I have a feeling this little girl may have followed suit so I'll take care of her. Okay, kiddo," she lifted up Bella, "let's get you and Brett changed and then ir's off to bed for you two now that you saw Papa."

_The following weekend:_

"Hey, Bree, come and check this out," Brian said with a laugh.

"What are you now doing to those poor kids?" Briana asked, coming into the room before spotting Bella in one of her father's jackets. The garment about covered all of Bella but her eyes.

"Me Papa," she giggled.

"I should have one of the costume people make miniature ones for them, " Brian said with a grin and acting like he'd accomplished something.

"No thanks, one of you in this family is enough," Briana teased.

"Oh come on, Bree, the kids are due for new pictures to send to Ma; it would be cute to have them in something different."

Brett had picked up another jacket. "Papa," he said. "Me."

"Lovely, now you've corrupted Brett." Briana shook her head. "I am in hell."

"Dude, look how rock star they are!" Paul laughed when he came in the room with their sodas.

"Yeah, I was just thinking of getting their own for their new pics to send to my mom."

"They're totally you, man. You should."

Briana punched him in the arm. "OUCH!" Paul yelled.

"Thanks a lot for the encouragement, Paul," she said. "I don't know which of you two is worse. Brian, get those off before your kids ruin them."

He sighed. "Fine. But at least think about it."

"We're going to dinner in a few minutes anyway," Briana reminded him. "They're probably hungry."

"Hungry," Bella repeated.

"I know you are, little one," Briana picked her up. "As soon as Papa gets done goofing off, we can go."

A short time later, they had been going down the corridor of the arena to the parking lot, stopping to talk to people along the way. One of the women had stopped to chat with Brian for a period of time, causing Bella to frown when the diva went to hug him.

"No," she said. "Papa. _Mine._"

Everyone around them had begun to laugh heartily.

"Someone is a little possessive," Paul said, laughing. "I'd keep an eye on your daughter, dude."

"Now, Princess, there's enough of Papa to go around," Brian grinned at Bella.

"Mine," Bella repeated, causing more laughter.

"Ah, women," he sighed.

_Conclusion:_

Several weeks after the house show, Briana had gotten a phone call from an elated Tina, who had announced she was indeed pregnant. "The in vitro worked, Bree!" she cried happily.

"Tina, that's great news! How is Pete taking this?"

"Are you kidding? He's already talking shopping for baby things for its room. Don't worry, we're hiring a contractor, though."

"Yeah, you don't want what we went through with Paul," Briana said laughingly.

"And speaking of hiring, I have a proposition for you."

"What?" Briana asked.

"Since I'm going to be having a child soon, and Pete's company is doing well, I was thinking about selling the salon," Tina replied. "I couldn't think of a better person to offer the opportunity of a new owner and manager than you."

Briana jumped at the offer; it would be great to work again and be around people besides two toddlers. "I'd love to do it," she said. "Have the paperwork started and sent over to me when you get a chance."

"Oh Bree, this is going to be great! Not only do you already know the place inside out from working there so long, but also to think you'd met both of your husbands here."

"And in another life, they probably were twins," Briana laughed. "But yes, I need something to sink my teeth into and what's better than going back to my old stomping grounds?"

"You won't have to be here all the time. Annie is the new assistant manager and she can cover most of the stuff for you when you can't be here, and of course, the regular gang is still here."

"Works for me," Briana responded. "You know what would also be a good idea?"

"Do tell."

"I'm thinking since I have the twins most of the time anyway, why not have a child care portion put in there for the employees and customers? I was also remembering Phyllis brings her grandson once in awhile, and it would work nice for Zachary too."

"That's a great idea!" Tina exclaimed.

"I'll be down next week to look over the place and see about the empty building next door," Briana offered. "We could have the wall to that space knocked down and put the child center in there."

They spoke a little longer about the new business adventure before Briana hung up. By then, it had been dusk, and she scooped up Brett, taking him over to the window and staring outside, reflecting how well her life had gone in over that period of time in her life.

Just then, the horn of an eighteen wheeler blew in the distance from the interstate highway. But to Briana, it wasn't any horn; it was Gary sending a message of approval from the other side, knowing his wife was indeed happy and loved by a man that was his dead ringer in more ways than one.


End file.
